He cheated on me while I was away training after 7 years together!!?

jude	in order for u to forgive him he has to be remorseful, and give her up, which has not happened. he is acting like an adolescent, he has low impulse control, and the moment u are gone he is sleeping with others. i would say he loves her too if she is still around. personally once someone cheated on me i would always wonder when they were going to do it again. as devastating as the pain is right now, it does diminish with time, but your relationship with him will never be the same not ever. he not only is not remorseful but he is blaming u saying u caused it. so not only are u hurt about the cheating, he has made u responsible for it, making you question your own self, and hurting your self worth much more than it needed to be hurt. this man is not a man who loves u, or has any compassion for you. best to move on, he isn't going to take responsibility for his actions, would rather blame it on u, but he is the one who made the choice, didn't just happen, had to be consciously thought out, and decided upon.

nate p	Cheat on him back, it will make you feel better. Eye for an eye

Mary	It is easy for the other people to just say leave him, or dump him because they are not in the situation. But from experience... ;you should wait until you get home and talk to him then you should follow what your heart says.. I hope this helps. Good luck

Ms Berry Picker	i will be honest with you. you and your bf were quite young when you first got together. maybe he is just trying out another girl to see if he's missing anything. I'm sure he really does love you, but this is your time to check out the rest of the guys on the planet to make sure Mr Cheater is Mr Right. remember you two are still quite young, whether you like it or not, people do change.

cynner942000	Ask him how he would feel if you got a 'boyfriend' for when you are so far away. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

cope_acetic	Holy cow--walk away from him!! You can certainly do better than him, and a cheat will ALWAYS be a cheat. If he lives in a place under YOUR name, have him evicted while you are gone. If it's HIS place, clear out your stuff, and be glad you didn't waste any more time on him. I wish you the best for your new job, and hopefully ,a great (non-cheating) new man!

BabeHart	First, you didn't push him to do anything. He made the choice to cheat so don't buy any ca ca like that. That's just him trying to help himself feel better about it. Next, y'all have been together longer than many couples stay married...and you started as kids. Neither of you have had the opportunity to know yourselves as single (individual) adults, experience what else is out there, etc. You got together with someone at too young of an age and now you are both growing/maturing and are doing it differently. He may have been a good match for you in jr. high but that doesn't mean he will be as an adult. I'd let him to to live his single life and sow his oats and you can concentrate on your new job/position and getting your life on track where you want it...then you can think about what you really want out of a mature, adult relationship.

melissa_marie45	Get rid of him!!!

nitenurse	Relationship is based on trust .will u be able to trust him again ?if so then by pass this and work it out if not u have to end it now .

kayak_number_12	Out of some bad, good things arrive ... be happy you did not marry him. Move on. Rejoice.

WorriedAJ	Sherrie I'm going to tell you something I wish I had known and really understood when I was your age. I'm 30 now BTW. If your man cheats on you and you take him back simply because you love him, than he will do it again. He has made it clear that he does not respect you or your relationship. Taking him back will not make him a better man nor will he ever regret what he did. He is selfish and you deserve a lot better than this. If you stick around and try to make him regret his past actions, you will only make him a better man for someone else. Get him out of your life ASAP and don't be scared to walk away. You will meet someone better and look back and wonder how you ever could have wanted to settle for your guy. Kick him to the curb and hold your head up high.

Right Wing Extremist	Of course he is going to blame you that take the blame and guilt off himself. He will do it again. You can do better then that.

D S	You know the saying once a crock always a crock? It does not matter if you were gone for a day, he broke your trust. You will never, never be able to trust him again. I know that is trusts when you really love someone. I was madly in love with my ex-husband, we were married for almost ten years. I worked hard and I started my own business. He decided that he could fly his wings while I was out busting my butt with my ex-best girlfriend. We all worked at the same location and we had mutual friends. He made of excuses to go out at night for a few minutes, always after 9:00 p.m. He needed cigarette, something sweet, something spicy, to put gas in the car, etc. I begin to put the pieces together, my ex-girlfriend put her daughter to bed at 9:00 p.m. When I confronted her and him, they both denied it straight out. The straw that broke the camel back was when they give me a going away party at work. There was forty-five people at the restaurant. The only two people that did not come was the both of them. My co-workers had their mouths open, like what's up with the two of them. I was so embarrassed, and when I went home I told him it is over. NEVER NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF OUR FRIENDS. Words of wisdom--dump him before he really hurt you mentally. It took me five years to even think about dating again. There are plenty of nice guys out there who would be grateful to have someone like you in their life.

Linda	Personally I'd leave. If he really loves you as much as he claims, he should manage to keep his pants on until you come back home.

Mr. Burns	It only takes one time. Find someone else.

Someone Else	You can't keep him on a leash. Why are women so desperate? There are a million fish in the sea.

Khandi	She knows huh? lol, well. I'll leave her to him..she'll reap what she sow... Just don't have a pity party, make that your 2007 goal...No pity parties. Just keep training, work hard and go for the gold..you'll be happier later and will have the last laugh. you best believe they are laughing behind your back. but whatever you decide to do, because it's your choice, do not stoop to their level...

unruly_1	Leave

jam_please	Once a cheater always a cheater. Tell her she can keep him, but if you have anything valuable at your place (if you share an apt) don't say that til you get back. Then go back acting like HE doesn't matter, clean out your stuff and move on.

msthinkpositive	Look, nobody will be able to tell you any thing because YOU still LOVE him. It's all on you as to whether you can tolerate the other female in his life because once they start cheating, it won't stop most of the time. The lying will be common place for him to be with others while you're physiologically fooling yourself behind that four letter word "l-o-v-e" which can take you through another four letter word "h-e-l-l". Make up your mind about what will make you happy, because the other female will if you don't.

Poppet	You did nothing wrong. He is a ****** and a little boy pretending at being a man. You need to let go and move on. Yes, it will be painful and difficult. You don't deserve this drama and ugliness in your life.

Mr. JW	You know, there are still some things here that were not answered. First, this the the first time he has cheated? What was the relationship like before? Next, was this job and your being away something that he was happy with or did you pretty much shove it down his throat or say that you decided and thats how it is? All of these things must be taken into account in answering the questions. Now please, do not think that for a moment I find cheating to be anything other then wrong or improper. But I feel that you have to ask yourself if he was given good reason to have in mind that you could care less what he thinks or agrees with or likes. Especially if you didnt make contact with him regularly or show him that he matters to you. I have no idea if you did or not, simply posing the thoughts to you. Lastly, while women love to dig on men, we men also have some experiences with women. We do not find it any harder to believe that you could have just as easily been boffing some guy the moment you got there and so forth. We have found that women often are no more trustworthy or loyal then men are, that is why I posed the questions above, about did you get a choice in your being away and so forth. If a person feels like they are always being told, at times they dont see much reason to care and they do what they want. Not an excuse for him mind you, simply realistic about how people are and how their minds work.

Wisdom Troll	Can you please post a picture of the other woman for reference. I would like to understand his mindset to give you a more informed opinion.

sarahjc23	Seriously, if he can't be left alone for a few weeks, what will happen if you guys get married and your jobs keep you apart for a while? I say don't stay, I konw it hurts but if it was that easy for him to turn to someone else, what's going ot stop him in the future? Besides, he obviously doesn't care too much for you if he;'s willing to hurt you like that, and tell you about it, and blame you for his mistake. I feel so bad for you girl, but as hard as it will be, you are still young and you still have a lot of time to find that perfect someone. He's not it. :( Good Luck.

dce1dg	DAMN,DUMP HIM

This is just my opinion!	I would leave him. He doesn't care about you are your feelings.

mouse	Your not even married why do you want a guy like that. There is so many guys out there that will treat you good. If you stay with him, he will just hurt you even more again. leave him you will feel better just give it time someday you will look back and say what did I see in him.