How can I get my husband back.?

Opin~Yun	Just because you are not interested in dating does NOT mean that you need this dope back in your life. Don't you think that maybe you only want him back because it is what you know, and where you feel the most comfortable? I think you are selling yourself short. So, $2,000 a month...what more do you need a month to get by OK? You can run errands for older folks that are not as spry as you for extra cash, or dog-sit, or clean house -- all kinds of things. Cut unneccessary expenses where you can. GO LIVE!! The busier you are, even if it is out there earning extra money, the happier you will be, and the less you will sit there thinking you have lost out on something. You haven't! There is still a lot of life to live at 61! Do some group things, like card parties and other social activities -- NOT to date, but just to be active, be smiling, and be MOVING. You CAN do this, and you CAN enjoy yourself for yourself, not as "Mrs. Crapped On while Hubby Goes Off To Play".

luvjc77777	You suffer from low self-esteem, why in the world would you want him back. He is worthless. Toughen up and although I know you love him, you have got to be strong, he took your money you self-esteem he broke your heart. Enjoy life get involved with senior clubs, they go everywhere these days. Get involved in other types of activites, soon you will have an active lifestyle. Do not take this loser back I guarantee he will hurt you again and again and again. Enjoy yourself now and consider yourself blessed that that no good cheater is out of your life. BE STRONG YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!

Seneta B	Well first off..if he's not returning your phone calls or e-mails, why bother? He obviously isn't interested in getting back together. Second of all he cheated on you what 2 times you said? That's not right. I am sure you can find another man, just put yourself out there. good luck

littleluvkitty	tell him that you have moved on and are thinking of getting married and that you would really like it if he was there to give you away.

carebear_8173	Honestly, if he cheated on you not once but twice he isn't worth it. If he isn't returning phone calls or email he doesn't want anything to do with the relationship anymore, sorry to say it but that's how it appears. I'm sorry about this because 21 years is a very long time to be married and it is a loss that you will have to cope with. Try and network with people in the same type of business that you are in to make new friends and regain a social circle. I know it is cliche but try different circles at your church--if you aren't ready to date this is a place to start. Good luck.

kalamNJ	Difficutl situation. But still this is life. Move to place where you can live with that $2000. See nearest pulic library, meet seniors there. Discuss with the people you trust.

---	Sweetie, you can't make him come back if he doesn't want to. But if the negative view point is what scared him away--try improving it. Getting yourself out to meet people would be a good way to start. You don't have to date if you don't want, but it is important to have some social contact (especially without hubby at home). Think about taking a class at the community center, joining a book club at the library, volunteering for a charitable group, or even joining an activist or political group that interests you. If your husband is like lots of other people in the world, when he sees you moving on and taking care of yourself, he may want you back after all. The question then will be do you still want him? Good luck!!

Cool Dude	Sounds like a tough situation. I'm only 24 and never been married so I dont know if I can be of much help but the only thing I suggest is to first somehow get him to come meet with you somewhere to talk. At this point, without overwhelming him, just tell him whats been going on and that you want him back in your life even if its just someone to talk to. If he has any bit of care for you, he will understand and at least be your friend. If not, then maybe you need to let go of him, as hard as it may be.

lostinsidemyself	You will learn to live without him! If he was so devoted, then why did he have an affair? If he wanted to be with you he would take your calls. Give yourself some time. You don't need that in your life! $2000 a month is plenty to live on , you may just have to adjust your life style a little! Get a divorce and you will get alimony and that will help you out a bit too!

Leah ... x	Andrew that was f***in harsh! I'm sure you still have plenty of life left in you, if you're good looking then you shouldn't have a problem in finding someone else, i wouldn't take him back if i was you, if he was involved in an affair for 2 and a half years then im sure he would do it age many more times, i wouldn't trust this guy one little bit if i was you, you CAN do better.

abdiver12	You have to let him go physically and emotionally and the only way to do that is to change your attitude towards him. Have the attitude of "he doesn't matter to me anymore." Its what the Buddhist refer to as "detaching" and it will get rid of your loneliness and depression. Its the only thing that will work. Change your attitude and you change your world. HE DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.

Badkitty	You don't NEED him back, that would be the worst thing in the world for you. Get out there and make "friends". You don't have to date, but be around people you enjoy. Quit pinning over your ex, he sounds worthless.

marie_chic	You don't want him back. He sounds like he's a very selfish person. Don't worry you will find love again. Do yourself a favor hire an attorney and divorce his *** before he tries to come after you for more money. Keep your head up and good luck to you.

abstractfallacy	I agree with the first person. There are many older men that I'm sure would love to be with you and older men are real gentlemen anyway( besides your man obviously.) You might not be interested in dating but it's a better alternative to going back to all that drama.

romettifamily	I don't understand why you would want him back. I guess the bigger question would be why you would want someone back who obviously doesn't want you. I don't mean this in a harsh way but if he did care about you in any way he would respond to you.

everbabylove93	Have u try going his place you can also find another man dat can take care of u like he did.

Perfectly flawed.	Thats tough. I would try to get your life going again, without him for now. When you feel comfortable with that, I'd see how you feel about dating then. Why would you want to be with someone who was cheating on you? He wasn't a good loving guy if he did that to you, not to mention ruined your retirement, right?

redbird_19	i would just say move on this guy cheated obviously your not all that...plus you say he is devoted! WHATEVER THE GUY CHEATED ON YOU FOR 2 1/2 YEARS. move on...find some nice young guy and go with that dont go back to him..he like the attention

jennifer484	2000 is pretty decent lol.It is funny how you mention the money. He had an affair anyway, why would you want to be with him?

amy00	I know that it is hard, but you just have to let him go. One day he should hopefully understand how good you are too him and he will return. If he never realizes then he never deserved you. Go out and get a good man who will love you and who will always be there for you. Good luck!

*Angelina Price*	why do u need a man to live??? he was mean to u... be independent.. hold ur head up high.. u dont need a man or to date...be strong

Stefans here!!!!	lol - just move on and try to get another hubby. he sounds evil to me good luck

American E	i would not want back anyone who cheats on me. he does not love you ENOUGH if he cheated on you. You deserve better.

â™¥Luscious Lips Schlongettaâ™¥	why would you want someone who used you? you are down. feel better about yourself and get out and forget him

The WingHunter	2000 is alot i wish i got that now! well sounds like hes moved on and u should too make some friends and maybe youll get hooked up

D&ECouture	he ain't coming back... face facts it's over

Tony R	you should know by now don't take him back get on with your life

Joseph S	sad story but if he had an affair i wouldnt try to get him back i say move on find a man who wont cheat on you

farmgirl	Why on earth would you want him back? You sound like a sensible woman, forget the cheating **** and get on with your life.