How can I get my husband to give me freedom?

kao x	When a guy gives you a break, it means he's not interested in you anymore. SO, it's good that he's like that and you hope he'll be like that for a looooonnnnng time.

h1forlife	let him in through the back door. 80% of the time it works every time

akoz111	just wait 5 more years and he will want to forget he is married and will give you tons of space. maybe to much

Jeanette	isn't your question about your husband??? it sounds like you look to him like your daddy... you don't need his permission... it is nice if he is ok with it.. but you don't need his permission... i hang with the ladies once a month playing bunko which is alot of fun...since i host it once a year he knows what we are doing... playing drunko bunko... LOL!!

Kelly773	My best friends husband is the same way. He even accused ME to trying to take his wife away from him!!!!! (You can be gay, that's your privilege, but I'M definitely NOT. And was extremely angry and hurt that he saw our friendship like that) We understand our problems because they were at that time so much alike. Bills, alcoholic husbs (divorced mine, but I'm still not gay), etc. He won't let me talk to her on the phone, so she calls me at lunch from work sometimes. I mailed her one card when her dad died, mailed it to her SISTER'S house in fact! He saw it there and blew his stack! It's really hard because we are close friends and she doesn't have the internet at home because "he's afraid she'll go to the personal sites looking for someone else". (She darn well should!) And we're all in our 40s so what's the deal. I live about 8 hrs. away now and it's really hard not being able to talk our problems out together. They have 3 kids, older now, but still at home. My point is, it's not just me. Her only other friend, that's mine too, gets the same treatment from him. This poor girl has to account who and where she is all the time. So I understand. But you won't change him. He's soooo insecure about himself, that the control he has over you is his security blanket. If he loses that, he loses it all. My girlfriend's stayed "for the sake of the kids"....They see it all....But she won't leave. Think about living the rest of your life like that. My girlfriend feels that by the time all the kids are out of the house, she'll be too old to care anymore. I think that's a shame and hope you can get some insight to what I'm saying. Tell the asss to lighten up, or you can arrange it so he'll never know where you are. Or with whom.....Don't live your life as a prisoner to anyone. If he truly believed you love him, he'd be able to trust you.

floridaman39us	Tell him he will be getting a better wife if he gives you freedom. I let my wife go off with her girlie friends and she comes home frisky. I like that........

cipotli	you voluntarily take your freedom for alimited time after arranging everything at home. then he may understood that u ll need time for u r own.

sweetness	u really cant make him less possesive. try talking to him an tell him . maybe let him have a guys night out so then u can too . like me an my hubby use to have friday my night out an he would stay with our lil boy an he would have sat. out to and sundays a family day. do u really wanna be with someone who wants to control u so much maybe you guys need to really ahve a good tlak about what u guys want . good luck =)

cass the shiz	This is the type of relationship you shouldn't be in. Hell you're a women you go out and have fun with the girls! Don't let your husband tell ya what to do. You both should have equal rights! If you let him out with his guys then you should be able to go out with the girls. simple as that. don't let him own you !

oh_jo123	one way is go ahead and do what you want to then see if you will reep any of the consiquences when you come home but make sure your kids are at your mom's or something so he can't take them and make a run for it

MDeHoyos	My husband used to be the same way. But then he made friends of his own and when they go out, I go out with my friends. Not very often but every once in a while and its actually pretty good for our marriage.

nite_angelica	Your freedom is not his to give. Although I think married people should live by standards that they agree on, that doesn't work in every situation. I could see him being negative if it were every weekend, but once in a blue moon? Stop asking his permission, go out with your friends, and DON'T feel guilty about it.

Happy-2	You have a misconception that is unfortunately very common among women: that your husband has to give you permission to do things you want to do. You don't have to get him to give you freedom -- instead, you have to exercise the freedom you already have. Maybe your husband would become negative if you went out without him, but, if he does, you simply have to recognize that's HIS problem and not YOUR problem. Tell him nicely in advance what you're going to do, reassure him that you're not going to behave in any way that's inappropriate for a married woman, tell him you love him and only him, and then tell him that you're going out with your gals and it's not a subject that's open for debate. Period.

IGUS	Im a guy, I think you should tell him that you need a night out sometimes with the girls and that he needs to trust you just like you trust him. Tell him were youll be and say peek in if you need to check. Tell him ... tho you may go out and joke around that your not cheating and you never would. Say something like your all the man I need or no other man could measure up to you. Look I know its goofy but if it works goofy or not you stay married and get to go out.

DeVonte M	sometimes u have to stand up to him and tell him your my husband not my father ....u married him becuase u loved him not to be treated like a child

867-5309 "Jenny"	My guess is you can't, from my experience with men like him they are usually cheating or cheated in past relationships and he's afraid you will do the same as he did, and from my experience with women who live in these mentally abusive relationships they usually do have affairs after years of feeling like prisoners in their marriages.. You can only cage some one so long before they strike out in anger..

LAL	I've been married 28 years and I can't even phantom my husband "giving" me a little freedom. I rarely go out with any one but him, but when I want to I just say "I'm going with the girls to do whatever". He just got back from Tunica and I didn't go, I wouldn't think of telling him he couldn't go. You guys need to trust each other.

redpeach_mi	you tell him all the things that you told us. tell him that you work, cook, clean, and take care of children every day. you deserve a break. if he still wants to throw a fit about it, go anyway and do not feel sorry for it.

xxasilentsoulxx	Sorry, but it sounds like you married an extremely controlling guy. You should be able to hang out with your friends at least once a week, if that is what you want. He obviously does not care about your happiness. I would really be VERY careful in this relationship. If you can't convince him to let you hang out with your friends, and he becomes violent when you ask, LEAVE HIM immediately. You could end up very hurt or even dead. Just be careful.

^^Smile^^	1.He dont have give you permission because he is not your father... 2.when you want to with your friends you just go a let him know where you are. 3.In relationships everybody has the right to spend time with theirs friends,family,pets or whatever without the husband or wife. you some space i guess he also goes out too and dont ask u permission or tell u what time he is coming etc. telling stop beeing so selfish you are an slave nor his kid. good luck!!

butterfliesRfree	My "ex" was like that.....not to give you a bad answer though --- I tried also to make him understand but he was extremely possessive and nothing worked. Notice the "ex" part? I left him. Met another and been married 25 years in a very trusting relationship.

laffytaffy	I agree. he should give you your freedom. how about if you tell him exactly where you are going with your friends. maybe he can feel comfortable knowing where you will be. and try not going to a bar or club. lol

johnny c	stand up and go out.he'll be there when you get back.tell him you need your space and if he does'nt like it you can divorce him and have all the space you want

gurlynmgurl	good luck, are u married to an hispanic man? if u are, you'll never have freedom!

sloop_sailor	You need to talk to your husband so that he will understand your view. Does he ever go out with the guys? Ask him how he would feel if he never had a chance to get away for an evening, a weekend fishing with his buddies, etc. I bet he would think it would be pretty frustrating if he couldn't. Then explain that it is the same for you. Each of you should be able to have some time for yourself. Studies have shown that this strengthens a relationship. He should be willing to give you equal time for the time he spends with his friends. Marriage is a 50-50 proposal.

acidBURN	YOu can't "make" him be or do anything. He is what he is, and you married him. If you feel that strongly, then tell him what you have just told us, how you deserve a night out. If he refuses, then you can't change his mind. It just doesn't work that way.

Colt	A leopard wont change his spots. I've seen jealous men before. Even friends of mine. I doubt he will change. Sorry to be negative but like I said , I've seen this before and never saw any of them change. I witnessed some lose really great girls because of it too. It's a shame. Good luck with whatever you try.

Dood	You are his partner -not his property. He cannot control where you go anymore than you can control where he goes. Do what you want and demand that he learns to cope with it. If you don't put your foot down now, you could grow to resent him for trapping you at home. You could then find yourself falling out of love with him and in love with someone else. No need to ruin a marriage over a simple misunderstanding. If you want freedom, let him know you deserve it and take it. Of course he will be against it and fight it at first. But eventually he will learn that it's not something you are doing to him, but rather something you are doing for yourself. If he really loves you, he will show you that respect.

mom&wife	u dont need permission from anyone to do what u want. yr a grown woman and u do what u want, obviously u need to respect yr husband but hes yr equal...not yr superior. have a talk with him and tell him u are gnna go out with whomever and then tell him yll be home at whatever time. let him know he can call ur cell but that he cant bother u. make sure u are home at the time u said yd be home. good luck!!

Acid	just go hang out with your friends what's the big deal?! he sounds like a controlling husband. choose a good moment & try to reason with him but you're not his property & deserve your own space.