How do I tell my wife that she's fat?

HE'S NOT INTO ME	Two routes. If you want the easy way "what can I say" you can be brutally honest and sit her down "Honey I want to do something about this. I'm worried about your health... I'm not attracted to you anymore... example for the kids..." Or you can try to change her behavior- steering her away from unhealthy foods at the grocery store, take her to do active things on weekends rather than sit around the house, veg out and eat... join a gym together, take dancing classes together or go walk on the beach or go for a morning jog together. If she suggests icecream or a buffet, suggest cooking a healthy dinner for her, or cooking it together. Rather than sitting down and reading a book or watching TV at night go for a walk together. If you see her shoveling a cookie/doughnut in her mouth, take it out of her hand literally and distract her (I'm sure you can think of something fun). I suggest the second option obviously- just remember this is a partnership, you're in this together, and its not "saying" something to get her to do all the work, you can help too. BUT if she's a stay at home mom that doesn't do anything but sit and watch Soaps all day than maybe its time for her to do something to help out around the house and get off her butt..... than I'd use option 1. Good luck.

QuestionWyrm	You do it with her. Tell her that you'd like to join a gym and you would like her to come with you (for moral support if you think she'll take it the wrong way) get yourselves a gym membership and go together. I guarantee she will take "You need to loose weight" badly and "We need to loose weight" far better. You can't expect her to exercise and eat better when YOU don't go to the gym and still eat McDonalds!

mdrieber00013	tell her, that for her own health, she needs to lose some weight.... it shouldnt be just so she looks better though...... but, just tell her, and have some facts or pamphlets or something ready.

nursesr4evr	I agree with offer to work out with her. Tell her you'll take her shopping for new clothes when she loses weight, or do some other non-food reward.

SAHM/Part Time Tutor	Say that you are worried about her health.

Danette	These type of situations you handle real gently see we women take things to heart and our weight is one of them! You have to handle that with kid gloves try sitting her down and telling her in a kind manner Honey I really think you've put on a few pounds and ask her to join a gym or get an exercise plan going on to tone herself up! See she already knows she's gained the weight and may be feeling self-conscienous about it so you need to approach with caution!

Stewie Griffin	Tell her you'll leave her

â™¥bentworth78â™¥Â®	Go Buy her an outfit that is really huge and act like you really thought that was her size, she'll get the message

hyperwarrior	Pressure her that if she doesn't lose weight, you'll divorce her. Give her an ultimatum.

RikChick	Help her cook and eat healthier. Get her involved in activities. My boyfriend and I enjoy taking a walk after dinner most nights. It is a good way to work off the meal and talk about the day. Cooking can also be very fun. There are alot of provokative foods you two could make for each other that are healthy also!! If you want to sit down and talk with her about her weight, tell her that you think you BOTH should start getting health for each other and for your children. Hope this helps.

t_thode	tell her that she needs to let go of all her stress because it causes between 70-80% of people to gain wait.or she might b just sitting around.,no offense.

Serenity	Are you nuts? LOL Listen, as a husband you should love your wife for who she is on the inside, not what she is on the outside. You are aware her body changed due to having YOUR children, right? Women's bodies always change after having children. If she feels you do not find her attractive any more, and trust me we women know these things, she will not have any motivation at all, she will simply be crushed. A husband and wife are to love each other unconditionally. She is still the exact same woman you fell in love with and decided to spend your life with. Does she treat you well? Does she show her love? If she does then that should be enough for you. Please do not hurt her by tellign her she needs to lose weight. You think she is unaware she has gained weight from having your children? She is the one carrying the extra weight around, it is her body which changed from the pregnancies not yours. Your body did not go through all the horrid changes pregnancy brings, nor did you have to give birth. Listen, my husband loved me unconditionally. He found my soul attractive and therfor that is what he always saw and never once did his eyes ever look at me with less than love and desire, and apprecation. I love him more for that gift than you can ever understand. It did not matter what i weighed, the look in his eyes never changed, never dimmed. When I was ready I lost the weight. Not all of it, but enough for me to feel good about myself again. Had my husband looked at me with anything other than love and attraction I would have been totally crushed. He would soothe me and tell me "how could I NOT find you attractive, you are the mother of my children, this body bore those children, you could never be anything but the most beautiful woman in the world to me". Those are his words to me and it echoed in his eyes. He meant every one of those words. I was valuable to him regardless of what I did or did not weight at any given time. The love and attraction shone from his eyes and how he touched me with his hands and body. I was honored as the mother of his children and the woman who loved him. He is dead now. I lost this wondeful man over ten years ago. I raised our children alone and now they are grown I have met a new man, one who loves me as I deserve, honors me, respects me, and I give him back as equal amount. I look to my husband for support in life, not judgement. I love him for the man he is not what his body will be at any given time. Some day he will be old and wrinkled and I will be too. Will you love your wife when she has lost her youth, her looks, will you love her soul as you should? Please look beyound the physical body into the soul of your wife. You hold the power to injure that soul or to help uplift her and allow her to know how loved and appreciated she is for who she is not how she looks at any given time. She is the mother of your children, your partner, your friend, your lifemate and lover. If any part of you rejects any part of her disaster is waiting to consume your marriage. A marrige which looks down on the partners is one which will not pass the test of time. Please try to understand that right now your wife needs you to accept her just as she is. If you do she will find the streangth to take care of her weight. If she never does, and is always overweight will you leave her? Are your feelings for her really so shallow as that? Please do not harm your wifes soul. Think about that, how much power you have to either harm or heal her. She needs despertely to know you love her unconditionally and will find her attractive at any point in life regardless of how much time passes. She will give the same back to you. Just love her and honor her as she deserves and you will be rewarded with a deeply bonded love which will last your lifetime.

dreamer	You better keep your mouth shut if you know whats good for you.

Goodspeed	You don't have to mention it she already knows, the best you can do is offer methods that would help her reduce her weight, gym membership...walks together...bike riding...I was in the same boat...offered everything, my wife spend thousands on every weight loss method available....they would work until she would go off the program and then gain all and more....now 25 years later we are recently divorced and she wished she would have listened to me then.

lcamel2000	Nothing you SAY will help her. How you ACT is the only way to help her. Lots of men feel the same way you do, but it only HURTS a woman to talk to her about her size, or to bring her health into the issue. Don't say a word. Just get a family membership to a gym, and then GO WITH HER. Also, love the socks off her. Tell her she is beautiful. Compliment her every day. You married her for better AND for worse, and besides, you are probably not the same handsome hunk in her eyes that you once were.

KAB :O)	Start taking 1/2 hr daily walks with her, that way you don't have to say anything to her. Go grocery shopping also and fill the house with healthy foods.

Lizzy Z	You don't tell her! You suggest that you want to get healthier and you think it's a good idea that you both work on a healthier diet and exercise plan together!!

ben w	get her a new scale

Nobody's home	Tell her you're worried about her health, and that you don't want anything bad to happen to her. It's the truth, right?

Ebony M	Don't tell her that she is fat! Just tell her that she is a lil' obesed and that she has'nt been watching her diet and/or what she eats. You should still love her even if she has gained weight. You could tell her that she has gained weight by asking her to have a salad with you or take her out for a walk with you. Don't tell het that she is fat because that will hurt her feelings. Ask her what happened to the women that he married if she does'nt want to loose the weight and take care of herself.

Wide Awake	How do you tell her you'd like to get slapped? Just kidding. I would suggest something like this: "Honey, you know I will love you no matter what. I'm concerned that you may be endangering your health with the extra weight/not being in shape/whatever. I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. What I can do to help you?" If she is not motivated to change, you cannot change her mind. But at least you have brought it up in a loving way, with lots of "I" statements, and offered to help. You can also look at ways you may be sabotaging her when she tries to lose weight. Have YOU gained any weight since the marriage? Do you exercise and make healthy food choices? Don't forget to look in the mirror! :o)

lwl F	YOU DON'T ! If you think that she hasn't noticed you are mistaken.This is the woman you are supposed to love threw the good times and the bad. If your wife is putting on weight there is some thing going on in her world and the best thing you can do is support her. Tell her how good she looks in that colour or in that outfit. Build up her self esteem and she will feel better about her self and her world. Once she feels better about her self I think that you will see changes. Love her don't dis her.

Simone D	start looking at other women in front of her face and she will think that u r going to cheat on her and she will stop.

Mikkos	Don't tell he she's fat, you think she doesn't already know that? The more you tell her the more she's going to resist your concern and eat more. You need to tell her that you both need to get in shape not just for appearance but also for your health. Why not start walking together?

JZX	cry like hell!!!! j/k dude just say its for her own good and health. you should do everything with her. work out, dieting, walking a mile or whatever. its better if you two do these things together rather than you just telling her to lose weight herself. she'll feel better that you are willing to be there with her and will take you more seriously too.

hh_20012001	Try her to notice that you like what kind of a body shape. keep telling her when you see a well shaped body around and that it is your ideal shape.Keep youe love up at all the time to prevent any miss understandings...