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How to make my husband spend more time with his daughter?
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How to make my husband spend more time with his daughter?

She is 18 months now, and she always cries when she is around him. He never wants to babysit her, bath her :( he always call her bratty, an *** or something rude. She dont like to around him. And hubby is in the military, so she havent seen much of him for the first part of her life. I have to take all the care of her, he dont likes to help out :( he always want to play video games too. He is 24 yrs old. What should do? I talked to him a million times!!!!!!







cirquedusoleil
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My dad is the same way. I can't trust him to take care of my son (his grandson) because he'll forget to feed him. He'll just sit him in front of the tv set and let him watch Jerry Springer because that's what my dad watches and violence shows because that's what he's into. My younger sister doesn't even like kids and you can't trust her to babysit either. Hmmm maybe it runs in the family?
My dad very rarely took care of us (me and my sisters) when we were growing up. I'm not sure if he knows how to even change a diaper.

So my sisters and I were raised by our grandparents while our parents worked.
My mom told me that you can never change a person you can change yourself. Which is true.
If your husband cusses and uses foul language and your gut instinct doesn't trust him, then don't let him babysit or care for your child. I know you want him to be more helpful and people should when it comes to caring for their own children, but unfortunately it's not always the case. As long as he pays the bills and supports his family financially, that's what you'll have to settle for. If that's not good enough for you, then you'll have to decide whether or not you want to stay in this marriage and then take it from there.
If you need someone to babysit your child, ask a friend or relative to do it and make sure they are compensated for their time. That is the only way when you are not available.
When I need someone to babysit my child, I ask my cousins to (they are only 13 & 11). They love him alot like a little brother and they are more mature and responsible to take care of him than my own dad. They will play and feed him and interact with him.

Edit: some people will suggest going to counseling. well counseling can be beneficial if they want to be helped. counseling is not a cure. counseling will not help change a person when they are being forced to go to counseling. we can go to counseling for ourselves and for our own self-improvement but we can't force other people to go when they refuse.


Loving Life Now
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yes, counseling is in order here..


mellow_26241
leave her with him and take a day out to yourself?

leave him?

counseling?

take his house key ?

file for divorce?


Cupcake
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You don't make him spend more time with his daughter! this is something he should WANT to do! He is a self-centered immature brat!


Katie Stewart
I know this hurts to hear. But you can't make him do anything.


Liz
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You chose to have a baby with a guy who is still an immature child himself, and now you complain that you're practically a single parent. Let that be a lesson to you and don't have any more kids.


Melissa Green
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I know how you feel but sorry to tell you the truth
he does not love her being in the military is not an excuse
if i were you and my hubby never loved my kid id get rid of him
the most sad thing is hes her biological father !!!!


Kloaka Kloaka
Is he a sensitive person to you? Maybe he expected a boy. Go to counselling, after you talked to him and nothing changed. Or ask him to join you and the baby and do things together as a family. Or just leave the baby with him and go shopping. He'll have no choice.


Ryan D
I hate to say this, but I'd give him an ultimatum. This isn't whether or not you should pre order the new black ops instead of paying the water bill, this is serious stuff. Tell him to start taking responsibility for HIS child, or HE will be single.


Common sense isn't anymore..
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A) a father cannot 'babysit" his own child. It is called parenting, not sitting.

B) he calls her names and spends all day playing video games? You don't have a husband, you have another child. I suggest you get rid of one of them, I'll give you a hint, the one with the gaming problem


Tara
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The sad truth is that you can't MAKE it .. he has to WANT to do it himself.

There is a reason that she doesn't like to be around him .. this doesn't come naturally, there's a reason for it.

You can talk forever - it won't do any good. He has got to want to do this -- and to love his daughter enough.


Not here 2 make friends
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cant make anyone be a father. period. Not making excuses but remember men have a harder time forming an attachments to babies. maybe things will improve as the cchild is more independent and can communicate better. Maybe ur daughter is so used to YOU that she cries when u are not around and he feels like less of a man, his own daughter doesnt want him. But the verbal abuse has to stop. Tell him u are not willing to compromise about that. he better stop.


Brandie
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Divorce him...I would not want to be with a man who wants nothing to do with my child. He helped make her, he should help raise her. I understand he is not around bc of military. That usually makes parents want to be with there children even more. Age has nothing to do with it. He is young still but it is no excuse for not wanting anything to do with your daughter


ONEBIGDADDY
This will take Counseling and you need to get a hold of his Commanding Officer so that he will...OBD







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