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How to win my children back?
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How to win my children back?

Although I tried for sole custody, my hospitalization following a severe accident separated me from my children for too long a period, and the judge awarded sole custody to my x-husband instead. He got a quick divorce and remarried right away. His wife wants to mediate but I have no desire to deal with her. I've been given access, but it is not at all being encouraged by him and her. When I call, they say that the children don't want to speak to me and they won't force them to. I succumbed to it once, but then I told them that the children had the right to speak for themselves. My children's opinions are being shaped by these 2 adults in a negative way toward me. It's frustrating, but I don't want to show that to my kids. However, I don't want to compete in a popularity contest. I know they are just children, but sometimes I feel like they are void of any feeling toward me. I figure the more they speak with me and see me, the more we will be able to rebuild, and move on. A court order enforces the access, it is not up to them. He got the kids by default. But tks ne way. I have access and visitation enforced through the court order, but the children are also now telling me that they don't want to talk. I have an appt set up w/a counsellor in a couple of weeks, and I still think I should travel out there in an effort to win them back. Nothing will change if I don't try. Thank you all for your advice. It's a really complicated issue, but I believe time will change things. And God will retore what the locust has eaten (Habbakuk). Their March Break starts on March 2. My friend and myself will be heading out to see them. My mom may come as well which would be good. I will open this up for a vote, as you all have made good points, and so I can't decide. Thank you.

Absolutely right nothing will change if you sit back and stop trying. But how are you trying?? I don't believe you have lost your children's love and care, but indeed they may be happy where they are. You must insist on face to face time with them in a neutrally mediated environment, not step- mum. Go to your local court house and ask how to arrange it through dept of Justice etc.. During this time ask about their friends, pets favourite foods, chat chat. Don't go the heavey stuff for a few meetings, make it light and happy time together. They will want to hear the end of the story next time they see you, have a joke to tell you etc. Of course never run down their Dad or stepmum, if they bait you, say you want them to be happy and hope that you can spend more time with them soon.If it is revealed that they are being held back from you or told unthruths, then act on that through the correct channels Kids will continue to love a parent who shows respect and consideration to them. They want to see a Mum who is finding a way to be with them, and they will appreciate the efforts you make. One day they will tell their Dad how much they love you and want to see you again. It will be a process, not one or two meetings. Work really hard at this and you will succeed in having a bond with the kids even if custody issues take a while to get sorted, be their lovely kind Mum and nothing will stop them from always having that!

U wont win them back if u dont get off ur but and do whatever u got to do to be in ur kids life!! ....... This to will past...... in other words ... time moves on, and if u r constantly trying to b in there life, then in a few months or years or how ever long it takes yall wont even remember how hard it was to start ur relationships over , it will all fall into place!! But talk to both x and his wife, so it wont b added drama... b nice....Good luck

Sole custody versus temporary custody...delima delima Once a Judge rules on that, it is very hard to get it changed back. You must really present your cards upfront and to show the Judge that you're ready to provide all the essentials for the children. When a court rules in favor of full custody to your ex husband, it's going to be a very hard to overturn that! You would have to prove that your ex husband is not taking care of the children or that he expreses to give them back to you, but this can lead to the State taking over and both of you lose altogether. When the Government steps in...your fricked.

I'm kind of confused. I dont understand how a judge can take your children away from you b/c of a car accident. YOU MUST GET A LAWYER, A GOOD ONE AND FIGHT. Do everything in your power to see your children. The courts may want you to jump through many hoops - START JUMPING. It will all be worth it for your kids. No matter what - when your kids grow up they need to know that there mother fought to see them at all costs! Good Luck and God Bless.

L bell
Don't give up and remember children are forgiving. You can't force anything. Just keep trying to communicate. If they are getting poisoned, they will work it out. Eventually they will miss and remember there mother's love and then blame their father and wife for keeping you apart. Children need MUM and DAD if possible. They may be angry about your seperation to their father, it can take years for them to come to tearms with it, let alone yourself! You are going through a very hard time. Keep trying, when you are with them never bring up their father or wife, ( i don't blame you for not wanting to deal with her but eventually it may be in all of your better interests. Children always feel uncomfortable hearing negative things said about their parents and if that's what their hearing over there about you they won't like it either.Love will prevail and the truth will come out. Good Luck

sweet granny 06
get a good lawyer and go to court your not unfit just because you were in a accident and hospitalized get your hospital papers and accident report take them to a lawyer try to get your children back in your custody

erin c
Get a good lawyer and fight. At least get visitation to start, so you can talk to your babies and they can hear your side. Good luck!!

heart o' gold
This is about the kids, not about you, not about the new wife, not about your ex. If the new wife has offered to mediate, I think that is generous and you should take her up on it. A judge awarded full custody to your ex, and you have to work with that. I suggest you stop blaming others and try to cooperate with your ex and his new wife because that is the best way to see your kids as much as possible. You can't fix the past, you can only go forward from where you are now. If you are a positive precense and the kids benefit from being around you, then I'm sure the ex and the new wife will want you to be in the kids lives.

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