Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
 
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Marriage & Divorce

How to win my children back?
Find answers to your legal question.





How to win my children back?

Although I tried for sole custody, my hospitalization following a severe accident separated me from my children for too long a period, and the judge awarded sole custody to my x-husband instead. He got a quick divorce and remarried right away. His wife wants to mediate but I have no desire to deal with her. I've been given access, but it is not at all being encouraged by him and her. When I call, they say that the children don't want to speak to me and they won't force them to. I succumbed to it once, but then I told them that the children had the right to speak for themselves. My children's opinions are being shaped by these 2 adults in a negative way toward me. It's frustrating, but I don't want to show that to my kids. However, I don't want to compete in a popularity contest. I know they are just children, but sometimes I feel like they are void of any feeling toward me. I figure the more they speak with me and see me, the more we will be able to rebuild, and move on. A court order enforces the access, it is not up to them. He got the kids by default. But tks ne way. I have access and visitation enforced through the court order, but the children are also now telling me that they don't want to talk. I have an appt set up w/a counsellor in a couple of weeks, and I still think I should travel out there in an effort to win them back. Nothing will change if I don't try. Thank you all for your advice. It's a really complicated issue, but I believe time will change things. And God will retore what the locust has eaten (Habbakuk). Their March Break starts on March 2. My friend and myself will be heading out to see them. My mom may come as well which would be good. I will open this up for a vote, as you all have made good points, and so I can't decide. Thank you.







Fred
Rating
Absolutely right nothing will change if you sit back and stop trying. But how are you trying?? I don't believe you have lost your children's love and care, but indeed they may be happy where they are. You must insist on face to face time with them in a neutrally mediated environment, not step- mum. Go to your local court house and ask how to arrange it through dept of Justice etc.. During this time ask about their friends, pets favourite foods, chat chat. Don't go the heavey stuff for a few meetings, make it light and happy time together. They will want to hear the end of the story next time they see you, have a joke to tell you etc. Of course never run down their Dad or stepmum, if they bait you, say you want them to be happy and hope that you can spend more time with them soon.If it is revealed that they are being held back from you or told unthruths, then act on that through the correct channels Kids will continue to love a parent who shows respect and consideration to them. They want to see a Mum who is finding a way to be with them, and they will appreciate the efforts you make. One day they will tell their Dad how much they love you and want to see you again. It will be a process, not one or two meetings. Work really hard at this and you will succeed in having a bond with the kids even if custody issues take a while to get sorted, be their lovely kind Mum and nothing will stop them from always having that!


redneckstyle4me
Rating
U wont win them back if u dont get off ur but and do whatever u got to do to be in ur kids life!! ....... This to will past...... in other words ... time moves on, and if u r constantly trying to b in there life, then in a few months or years or how ever long it takes yall wont even remember how hard it was to start ur relationships over , it will all fall into place!! But talk to both x and his wife, so it wont b added drama... b nice....Good luck


cristanine
Rating
Sole custody versus temporary custody...delima delima Once a Judge rules on that, it is very hard to get it changed back. You must really present your cards upfront and to show the Judge that you're ready to provide all the essentials for the children. When a court rules in favor of full custody to your ex husband, it's going to be a very hard to overturn that! You would have to prove that your ex husband is not taking care of the children or that he expreses to give them back to you, but this can lead to the State taking over and both of you lose altogether. When the Government steps in...your fricked.


kajungirls
Rating
I'm kind of confused. I dont understand how a judge can take your children away from you b/c of a car accident. YOU MUST GET A LAWYER, A GOOD ONE AND FIGHT. Do everything in your power to see your children. The courts may want you to jump through many hoops - START JUMPING. It will all be worth it for your kids. No matter what - when your kids grow up they need to know that there mother fought to see them at all costs! Good Luck and God Bless.


L bell
Rating
Don't give up and remember children are forgiving. You can't force anything. Just keep trying to communicate. If they are getting poisoned, they will work it out. Eventually they will miss and remember there mother's love and then blame their father and wife for keeping you apart. Children need MUM and DAD if possible. They may be angry about your seperation to their father, it can take years for them to come to tearms with it, let alone yourself! You are going through a very hard time. Keep trying, when you are with them never bring up their father or wife, ( i don't blame you for not wanting to deal with her but eventually it may be in all of your better interests. Children always feel uncomfortable hearing negative things said about their parents and if that's what their hearing over there about you they won't like it either.Love will prevail and the truth will come out. Good Luck


sweet granny 06
get a good lawyer and go to court your not unfit just because you were in a accident and hospitalized get your hospital papers and accident report take them to a lawyer try to get your children back in your custody


erin c
Get a good lawyer and fight. At least get visitation to start, so you can talk to your babies and they can hear your side. Good luck!!


heart o' gold
Rating
This is about the kids, not about you, not about the new wife, not about your ex. If the new wife has offered to mediate, I think that is generous and you should take her up on it. A judge awarded full custody to your ex, and you have to work with that. I suggest you stop blaming others and try to cooperate with your ex and his new wife because that is the best way to see your kids as much as possible. You can't fix the past, you can only go forward from where you are now. If you are a positive precense and the kids benefit from being around you, then I'm sure the ex and the new wife will want you to be in the kids lives.







Legal Discussion Forum

 is kids geting to young to be mirryed?
...


 For those "other" women/men?
If a man has an affair and leaves his wife and kids to be with the other woman - why would she ever want to have kids with the guy? Especially a man who settles for every other weekend visits and ...


 Is getting married more than once illegal or legal?
...


 Are Re-newable Term Marriage Agreements legal, and being used by anyone?
The concept makes a lot of sense to me, requiring realistic dialogue and agreement before marriage, and provides for pre-determined no-fault divorce provisions if either party declines to renew. I ...


 can their be verbal abuse without actual physical abuse that has stopped?
...


 why are some wives and husbands like this?
my soon to be ex played the perfect person on the outside. bible studied, said she believed in god, went to church, volunteered, works in a helping profession with kids but....and this is a big but......


 Do I have to pay child support (in Ontario) when the children visit me for the summer?
I reside in Ontario and have every other weekend visitation throughout the year, but will have them for 1 month in the summer. Do I still pay their mother the monthly support?...


 Why are some men forced to pay child support if they don't have access to their kids?
e.g. the ex moving away, blocking his visitations, taking him to court, banning visitation rights or custody requests, demanding more money for child support and threatening to limit his time with ...


 How can i migrate to canada or U.S?
what is the easiest way to migrate to either canada ot US? some friends say, "get married to a canadian citizen or to a US citizen. ... but i dont know any cnadain or american.... and i want to ...


 Should I take back my wife who left me?
My wife left me a little over a month ago and moved back to the US from Canada. She took our 5 yr old daughter with her and informed me to throw out all her stuff and I can only call before 9pm if i ...


 Do you think that adult films are healthy in a marriage?
...


 What was the best gift you ever gave to your Mother?
What was the best gift (and it doesn't have to be materialistic things) you ever gave to your Mother?...


 Clothing Stores?
Does anyone know of any really good clothing stores online..I juss wanted to check them out..not like too expensive tho... Thanxx....


 What is the best way to reconcile with husband after separating two weeks? (experienced marrieds pls)?
I had asked my husbnd to leave the house because of ongoing conflict and we were separated for the last two weeks. He came home last night and while the passion is still there a lot was said by both ...


 I have a friend who is babysitting a lonely child?
The poor guy is just 2 years old and he hasn't seen his father for a few months. The little guy is looking for his daddy and my friend knows where he is. However court orders say that he ...


 What about my last will?
I am divorced since 2000 and my now 18 year old adopted daughter (I adopted her when she was two, when I married her mother, my ex wife) was supposed to spend every second weekend with me. The last ...


 I met a man online a year ago, he says he is deeply in love with me, but i don't know if I truly love him, he
has talked about marriage and I am starting to back off. He is divorced, no problem there, but I just don't picture myself with him, for the rest of my life. Should I end it now and not hurt ...


 Do You Think 28,000 A Month IN CHILD SUPPORT For A woman WHOS TWINS WERE FATHERED BY A CHEATING RICH HUSBAND?
A JUDGE CUT THIS WOMAN CHILD SUPPORT FROM 28,000 A MONTH TO 5,000 BECAUSE THE FATHER SAID SHE WAS USING THE MONEY FOR SURGERY AND TRIPS AND TUTION FOR A CHILD THAT IS NOT HIS......I THINK HE SHOULD PA...


 what should i buy my husband for his birthday?
My husbands Birth Day is next week and i dont know what to buy him help!! hes turning 21...


 Is it a good idea to move far away just to get away from meddling in laws?
My husband hates confrontation and avoids it at all costs. I just wish he would be a real man and stand up to them but he doesn't until things get too bad....




Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Saturday, November 22, 2014 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links
0.034