Husband and I arguing, is his behavior normal?

justjosie	Shelby I know what you mean. I am a stay at home mom too, and if things aren't going well with my husband, then I am feeling lonely :(. We have disagreements, but we don't really fight that much anymore. I finally decided I will not argue with him about anything. Think about it, he's disagreeing with something you've said/done just go on about your business. He already knows how you feel, you know how he feels, agree to disagree, and go on. It took a few times before my husband caught on, I flat out told him a few weeks ago that he was looking for an argument, to quit making issues out of everything, I would not fight with him, and walked out of the room. I stayed busy in another room for the evening, the next night when he came home from work I acted like nothing happened. The cold shoulder routine gets old after awhile, I know, if you ever need to talk you can email me. Hope things look up soon for you.

prouddaddy	This is withholding, "silent treatment". Form of verbal abuse. Not good. Tell him it's not working and that you need to talk. Not fair that he's doing that to you.

Toots	To work ANYTHING out with someone...you MUST be able to communicate with each other. He is acting like a spoiled child...pouting..etc...no, it's not normal...and is a controlling act... Trust me when I tell you that this a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE red flag my dear....and RED means "stop" or "danger".... think about it....I really believe that in time, you will see other controlling behaviors emerge, if you haven't already... You need to develop some friendships outside of your "mommy" and "wife" world...and if your husband is opposed to that...then honey, you've got a REALLY big problem....message me if you'd like to talk some more...

teacherintheroom	This is normal behavior...for a THREE YEAR OLD!. No, this is not normal. It's passive agressive behavior. Either, he's sulking because he was wrong and can't admit it. OR, he's sulking because you were wrong and he's just mad. Either way, his behavior is juvenile. The best thing to do with someone like this is to ignore the bad behavior. Just continue along being pleasant and pretend like you don't even notice his bad behavior. When he figures out that he's not getting any kind of reaction out of you , he'll stop. By the way, you will start to see this same behavior VERY shortly in your children. This is exactly what 2 and 3 year olds do when they don't get their way. So practicing on your husband now is a good idea. I am concerned about the fact that you say you have no friends. Family is important and certainly those babies need you BUT...you need to develop healthy friendships outside of your house. You will find that your husbands bad behavior will impact you much less if you have other adults to talk to and interact with. Join a mommy's group at your local Y or Library. Check out what goes on in your city or town where you can get out and meet other women that have similar interests. Take a class for fun at night when you hubby is home and can watch the kids. You need to start doing some things for yourself and interacting with other people. If your husband's arrival home is the high point of your day , EVERY day...there's a problem.

ibsawdust	Your husband is the one acting like a child..No its not normal to act that way.. You can't change your husband but you can do something for yourself..The next time your husband has a few days off, leave him with the kids and go stay with relative of friend or even get a room at hotel for at least 24 hours..when you return ignore him , don't fix him anything to eat don't do his laundry..give him a sense of what he has been doing to you..If that doesn't fix the situation, then start looking for a marriage counselor..Also look for some sort of mommies day out club or someplace you can go and meet other women in your area..Good Luck!

Are-bu	It is normal,but ur husband is full of ego if u want 2 know. guys often do that.

ASHES	First of all you need to give your self some "alone" time. That way you can make friends and have more options when it comes to a adult conversation. I think its not normal and it sounds as if he is trying to find any reason to shut you out of his life and maybe you should really rethink were your relationship stands. He should not be able to just shut you out of his life that way. Don't feel lonely, get out of your house more often I understand you love your babies as I love mine BUT we all need some adult time!

cookie	His behavior indicates an emotionally abusive relationship. By cutting off communication he is controlling your happiness. He sounds extremely immature and incapable of a healthy relationship. If counseling is available, take it. He needs to know his actions are destructive to your marriage

Steven's Mommy	I can definately identify with this situation. When my husband and I have fights he ignores me for 3 days (everytime). Usually I try to talk to him and kiss his *** and work things out. However, this past time he threatened to divorce me so I said go ahead and didn't try to talk to him and didn't do anything for him and just went about my business as if he didn't exist. Totally different from the norm. Needless to say he came cry to me after 3 days (it definately had to be the standard time frame) but this time I didn't apologize or anything...because it wasn't my fault. we are going to counselling to help us with our arguing..maybe you both should go. Or you can try the not carry aproach and see if he has a different reaction. Just cook for your kids and act like he doesn't exist. Why should he be allowed to do it to you and you can't do it to him. He won't know what to do with him self. Trust me it'll work.

stay_fan1	Not normal at all. He is turning everything into a power struggle, which is worthless in a marriage. He may also be jealous of the attention you are giving your kids, which is stupid, since they are HIS kids too (plus, at that age, they NEED lots of attention). Make new friends. Invite other moms over.

johnchrstpr	It sounds like you have grown apart for whatever reason. Sounds like he isn't there when he is there. I would have a long talk and ask "where is our relationship going"? Sounds like you need to grab the bull by the horns and decide what direction you need to go toward. Good luck.

Casey	No this is not normal, husbands aren't supposed to treat thier wifes like this. It sounds like you are a great person and you deserve better but a marriage is something you work at. I suggest talking to him and let him know how you feel. Communication plays a big role in a marriage!!!!!!!!! Good Luck, I hope the best for you. Casey=) If things never get better than you know what you need to do!!

jay k	If that's an exception it would be normal for big huge fights, however if he's doing this on a consistent basis it's over and beyond normal. Perhaps you should seek marriage counseling to figure out why he behaves this way. I'm curious you said he ignores you, are you trying to bridge that gap or just going along with the ignoring? Contrary to Brandy above me, who's obviously paranoid about cheating, this is most likely not the case it's brought on by fights and if he's at home to ignore you and not eat the food you cook when would this supposed cheating happen? And don't try the if you ignore me I'll ignore you, it's childish and it won't do anything but seperate you two even more, you both need to communicate and find out what the real root cause is.

Mary O	3 babies under 15 months do you have triplets, he is acting immature truly you need to act the same as he does and give him a taste of it and if he isn't eating then don't cook go on strike and don't do his laundry either.He is cheating he looks for reasons to leave and if he has to pick fights he does and him sleeping on the couch is also an indicator you need to leave him and go stay with relatives he will probably give you an STD he will have to pay child support.

Brandy	No it's not normal. Sounds like he's having an affair and is starting fights so he can go out and cheat. Where does he go when he leaves the house? He's not answering or return calls? That sounds suspicious. Sounds like he's also got you trapped so you can't go anywhere. No money and 3 babies under 2, my goodness girl, how'd you let yourself get trapped liked that? Anyway, this is what you do, go on about your daily business, ignore him. The next time he goes off in a tirade, ignore him. Don't cry, don't scream, don't call him or try to stop him from leaving. What you also need to do is start saving some money - you need an escape from that relationship because it sounds as if it's going to end badly. Save money so that when it does end, you aren't stuck broke with three kids. Good luck.

jrenee49	you should join a great church and find some friends that can relate. his behavior is not normal! if you can't communicate, you shouldn't be married. Communication is sooooo important in a relationship. Find a great church!

Patty G	He certainly sounds very immature, selfish and has many child-like qualitities. He needs to grow up so he can set a much better example for his children. Think deeply on this and perhaps get some counseling to help this marriage. If you don't, this is what you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. Are you ready to handle another child (re: husband)?

â€¢â™¦â™£â€¢Hope Floatsâ€¢â™¦â™£â€¢	Hmmmm....sounds like he has to be in control. They way he reacts to a little spat is normal for a person who thinks he or she is the boss. Leaving the house!!! Especially when you two have 3 babies together is a total a$$hole thing to do. I'm sure he's aware of your social status and that it doesn't exist because you are a busy mom. I think he takes advantage of that too. By leaving you alone with the kids he knows you'll eventually give in to him. I wouldn't put up with this sh!t at all. Of course talk with him and ask him why he does this. Try to work things out with him and if he continues to act this way and make you feel secluded and lonely, you should get a divorce. Life is way too short for someone to treat you like that. Best of luck to you & your family

vixalle21	i do that too. <shame on me> he doesnt know how else to showe you he's upset, thats what it is. and he wants attention. SO what you do it, make him talk to you and dont go away until he gives in. if the fight is your fault apologize. if its not your fault then tell him what YOU're mad at. and you should really make some friends. its unhealthy to be all alone like that. Meet some other moms, or take the kids with you to a nursing home to give old people company. You'll feel better if you have outside friends.

ggirlgail89	Sounds like you are raising four babies instead of three. The key is to not feed into it. Keep yourself busy and dont let it bother you and he will come around. My husband likes to ignore me when he gets mad too. If you keep in their face and wont let up it just makes them more mad. However when you act like you don't care it drives them nutts and they wills start talking again. This is ten years of experience talking.

Colonel	I know how you feel, my ex would make me feel like a stranger in my own house because she had this same behavior/ attitude. I don't know what to tell you unfortunately. Since you are a stay at home Mom, the next time he wants to ignore you hand him the kids and say you are going out. He'll start talking again real quick.

They call me ... Trixie.	I wouldn't consider his behaviour normal - I would consider it very childish. Relationships depend on communication, and he's not doing that. He needs counseling to find out how to channel his feelings in a productive way. Cutting you out of his life for several days isn't productive.

metal head	Whether it's "normal" or not, it's immature and not fair to you. You need someone else to talk to -- don't you have any relatives or old friends nearby? I'd be curious to know what exactly you're fighting about that's creating such an extreme reaction.

Ragnar	Its abusive and controlling behavior. Get yourself to a counselor immediately, even if you have to ask your parents to finance it. He has to deal with his own issues, you need to take care of yourself.

Krissers	wow im sorry no thats not normal...fights are suppose to happen he has to understand this..maybe he is upset about something bigger just not telling u..u have to find a way to get to him to let him see he is hurting u ..i would say try telling him but that would prolly lead into another fight

*never give up*	you shouldnt depend on him for your personal happiness, but he sounds like hes either immature, or has some personal issues going on.

Kyleontheweb	No, that's not normal. Fighting is normal, but the problem needs to be identified and worked out between you. He needs to be talking to you and working out the problem with you. Ignoring you and running away from the problem only makes things worse, and is totally the wrong thing to do.

Violet Pearl	Your husband is acting like a toddler. He's a bigger baby than the children. Highly immature and manipulative. It's not normal.

Switch	Thats awful... I dont see how any argument could last that long.