I'm getting married in 2 weeks and my fiance hit me yesterday... I don't know what to do?

smilingeyes_momof3	This is a huge RED FLAG. Abusers are very kind to their victims initially...and then it gets worse over time. Been there. Married a guy that had hit me and then apologized. Had 3 kids with him. Abuse got worse when financial troubles ensued. Final straw for me a night I could have died...got strong and prosecuted. He was sentenced to over 52 years and now my kids have to grow up with the stigma of a violent father who went to jail for attacking their mother in a vicious fashion. If you make the choice to go through with the wedding - make sure counseling starts before you say I do. Many abusers promise to go but never do. And let him know that he has used his one chances with you and you WILL file for divorce should he ever raise a hand to you again. And follow through!!! Don't get trapped.

Torn	HoneyHoneyHoney...... do not marry him, no matter what he said. Thank your angels for showing You where He could go when under stress. Do You want to be slapped by him again? It could happen, tomorrow, or the next day...Isolated things like a slap are really under the surface issues just be let go. They will appear again and again, if You are available. If You tell someone in your family, they can let the guests know. You can tell him he needs to take care of his issues first and maybe find another year to marry. Yet, please, take care of YOU!!!

John S	Well think about it very good, because once your married what will he do if you and hima rgue will he just slap you or break your nose or jaw. There's no excuse for a man to hit a woman, and just tell him this if he ever does it again, I will ahve a nice visit with him which he will, know what pain is. But you need to really thingk about it becausue your already are making excuses for him. You going to do the same thing next time he hits you make excuses.

peace	Don't worry about the 300 people I am sure they can find something else to do on that day. I think you should cancel the wedding and break up with your boyfriend. He only gave you a glimpse into what is to come. He is abusive and he does not deserve you. Leave now... it's hard but it will only get worse if you stay.

pitchingcoach	Do not marry this man. If he hit you now he will hit you again. It gets easier for an abuser. He'll always be able to justify what he does to himself. He'll also continue to apologize and promise not to do it again. And he'll do it again. Please stop the wedding.

Granny 1	If it happened once it will happen again, cancel or postpone the wedding until he gets help.

kim h	I would call off the wedding. You need to see what is going on. Abusive relationships do not start out right away. They start after he is comfortable that you cannot or will not leave him. There is never a reason that he should hit you. I was with a man once that was abusive. He apologized and said that it will never happen again. I believed him and stayed and the next time I needed a doctor. I would not recommend that to anyone. Some women need the morgue when they stay. Do not worry about everything being planned or in place. Think about your safety and your sanity. If you asked this question to anyone that loved you I bet they would tell you to call it off also.

YaWhoDee	Postpone the wedding. If there are services pre-paid call them immediately to cancel. If you can't get your money back for like the caterer or the hall invite all the homeless shopping cart pushers to come and enjoy it. You can write it off your taxes as a charitable donation. Both of you need counseling or a marriage encounter week-end.

Lady Freyja	Walk don't run!! Cancel the wedding now. Abuse is a deal breaker.

deborahmeera	You need to leave now!!!!! he is an abusive man there is no excuse for hitting you then it means anytime u all have a fight he may become more violent do u want to end up in hospital or dead look dear you are already seeing the signs ur engaged and he acting like he owns you imagine if you marry him i know its hard u love him but think about it if he respected you and love he would not have hit you please get out of this before u live to regret it

bleh	I think you know what you want to do. Other people aren't going to make this decision for you. If you want to leave him, leave him. If you want to stay with him, at least push the wedding back for a while and see if it ever happens again. But personally, I would get out. It's your call though; it's your relationship.

Marina	Love doesn't hurt, and people who are about to be wed don't slap the woman they love. It doesn't matter how much stress he is under or that this is an isolated incident. Sweetie, as much as you love him, you need to reconsider marrying him. I was with a man that slapped me and he promised he would never do it again. For a few months things were fine and it happend again, only that time he fractured my jaw. I trusted him and I believed him when he said he loved me and didn't mean to hurt me. Luckily, the second time it happend I was smart enough to get the hell out of there. Don't let there be a second time for you. What's scary about your guy is that it seems like he is acting---you said he's never yelled....what person never yells when they're angry? I would put off your wedding if I were you. This is not something that should be taken lightly, and Anger Management does nothing! My ex went to Anger Management and went on to beat his current wife as well. This is serious. Please treat it as such. It doesn't matter that you have 300 people coming and that things are paid for....airline tickets can be used for another trip, and the people that love you will understand your reasons. I don't agree with the person that said hush hush about this...I think you should tell people that you're not ready to get married yet and if anybody gives you pressure for the reason why, you should be honest. Don't let anyone make you feel bad or pressured to go through with a wedding under these conditions.

Michy	That is exactly what those are; excuses. A person that doesn't display their emotions is a ticking time bomb. Everytime he gets overwhelmed, he will explode; and you will be the one that gets hurt. My mother told me once a man hits you the first time, he has no problem doing it again. Why? Because he knows you will accept his pitiful apologies afterwards. Once he has hit you a few times, and he thinks his "I'm sorry" is not working, then comes the gifts. Just remeber the hitting never stops, it just gets worse.......RUN while you Can!

reddevilbloodymary	Life will always be filled with things that stress us out and push us over the edge. I agree, right now he has an extraordinary amount on his plate, but this will not be the only time in his life that things pile up like this.... I think you should postpone the wedding for a year, and tell him that part of the 'deal' of staying together as a couple is for him to attend counseling for the entire year. Let him deal with his parents breaking up, the financial issues etc....and tell him the wedding is the one thing that can be put to the side for now.... If you don't show him just how serious his actions were, the next time it will be easier for him to lose his temper/control and to slap you, maybe push you against the wall etc....and this would NOT be the ideal person to be making babies with and raising them.....you never know how he would handle the stress of kids, because believe me, they are stressful, no matter how much you love them, the daily grind of life can be stressful.

cope_acetic	This would be a HUGE red flag for me. Of COURSE he's never done it before--abusers always wait til they are married to show their true colors--otherwise nobody would be trapped! Honestly, hon--postpone the wedding. If he is truly remorseful and willing to get counseling, make it a condition of going through with the wedding.Has he pressed you to marry kind of fast? That is a classic sign of abusers. I really truly think you need to wait on this. God Bless, and good luck.

Barry W	You should consider putting off your wedding. The pressure to go ahead is almost overwhelming, but you have a chance now to try and establish a basis for working together to build a plan to work out a way to have a disagreement (aka "fight") fairly...with respect and boundaries. I understand from your detail that he has never done this before...with you...but it may be that he has had it modeled in his parents relationship. Or he may have anger management issues. Or you may be seeing (for the first time) how he handles extreme pressure. It should not be judgemental...but you might want to look into anger management and couples counseling before you decide to go forward. Looking at it differently, you get to start working out problems as a couple BEFORE the wedding instead of after. That let's you do it without the pressure of "what will my friends think", the pressure of bills, the pressure of having divorcing parents want you to take sides.

Ginger	It is getting closer to him having you as his. I think some of his true colors are showing. I would let this slide since he has never done it before, and it maybe stress is getting to him. But if he does it again between now and the wedding call it off. Rather a called off wedding then a nasty divorce!

Jeanie	Hitting is a deal breaker. Stop the marriage. If you want to give him a second chance you still can but do not marry him until he has completed counseling and the counselor gives you an okay. Having grown up in violence he needs help before he inters enters into a relationship. If you don't care about yourself think about the children you may have. Please call of the wedding at least for now. If any of those 300 people love you they will not want you to marry a man that will hit you. And If they don't love you who cares about them?

barbie_044	he does have a lot to deal with BUT he has no right to hit you...in these next 2 weeks make him seek counseling if he doesn't then i'd advise to call off the wedding until after he has gone through some counseling to work out his issues good luck!

ChildofGod	RUN!! Edit: Sweetheart, it doesn't matter how many people are coming, or how much money you've spent. None of it is worth risking your safety. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and you don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone who hits you. Please get away from him.

free_angel	Call off the wedding, return the ring and tell him no man hits you and gets by with it. And if another man should ever hit you again, call the cops on him.

JW	There is no acceptable excuse for physical violence. Be very careful here. I know that postponing a wedding can be a MAJOR deal but you may want to consider that. Be very careful. He just showed is true colors.

sunshine	get out now.

sassynjazzy	well if this never happened in the whole two years you guys were together, maybe he is under alot of pressure due to the wedding, if you guys are having a big wedding, they always say that will be the time a couple will fight and hate each other the most, aside from getting divorced... he probably didn't mean it, dont go running and telling your whole family about it either, dont tell anyone, you two need to deal with this amongst yourselves, you dont need anyones negatives imput trying to get you to cancel the wedding, everyone makes mistakes, just make sure it doesn't happen again...... ask your pastor for a small counseling session...

you're lucky I'm nice	you take pictures of whatever body part he hit you on, then you call the police and file a report. then you call your relatives and guests, and let them know that he hit you, and the wedding is off. then you pack up your stuff and get the hell out of the relationship...

Mrs. Neil	If you accept it and he feels like his actions were trivial .... then he is bound to do it again ...... I would sit and talk to him about pushing off the wedding, not bc you really want it to be pushed but bc you want him to know how serious this really is .... make sure he knows your NOT going to tolerate it, even if that mean to push back the wedding ..... Do something or it will get out of hand!

Mike	im not married but i did deal with this from my parents when i was a kid. but in your case, i think you should be mad, but he is obviously going through alot of stress at one time! and that can do some emotional damage!

hsmommy06	No matter the stress he is under he should have never hit you. This just goes to show you what it may be like after you get married. It may never happen again and then it just may. This may be the beginning. He needs to go to anger management. I would not marry him at this point. I would put off the wedding until he can find a way to get this stress under control. I don't think it would be right to start out a marriage like this.

KATHYANN C	RUN DON'T WALK!!!!!!! don't put up with hi lies and excuses kc