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I'm losing my family due to a divorce...how do I get over the pain?
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I'm losing my family due to a divorce...how do I get over the pain?

When I was going through a divorce I kept thinking I had lost my family also.....what I learned was that it was negative thinking....I hadn't lost my family, I had lost my spouse. It was a huge change in the way we lived, it is just change and this change is hard. I got a cat and a dog and a fish. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat and I couldn't think straight. I was certain that I would never feel "normal" again. However over time, I made new friends, found interests that I had lost, pursued a new career and before I knew it I had all of me back. I have a great relationship with my child, I have 50/50 custody of her...I feel that a child needs both parents equally involved in their lives...she is well adjusted and 6 years later I am remarried to a wonderful man that I couldn't love more. Life has a way of working out. Baby steps, (maybe one or two Tylenol PM to help you sleep) then before you know it you are on your feet running and happy once again. Just do the next right thing for YOU every day. Remember this too shall pass and you never have to feel this way ever, ever again. It will get better I promise you!!! Hugs to you.

ouch , you have asked a question based on very little facts. Its hard to answer because you didnt mention as to why your geting the divorce in the first place... lets face it , if you beat your spouse and kids then you should never have any chance to get over it and you deserve what you get . on the other hand if you kitten whiped and never stood your ground for anything , here again you deserver what you get ,but not so much and you should be able to heal in time..... and i bet you thought i would leave out the fact you may have been the best dad around and your wife found some younger stud ...you know the drill....well that is something you wil have for the rest of your life, and it will never go away! i cant really tell you how to et over it , but if you have had a family member pass away then the way you got over that is about the same. best thing though is try to stay in touch with you kids and help them as much as you can, this will help ease the anger you will have stored up and it will help them to know who their father is and will work in the long run for the best. and for now you wil have a hard time riding it out , but you will and it will be worth it when the kids are grown.

My heart goes out to you.. Try and stay busy with work or things around the house or other friends. Try talking to someone. Possibly try working things out ? Good Luck to You !!!!

Nena S
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Since everyone is different, you will have to discover what makes you feel better. Some people go to therapy; some go to church, some lean on their friends, some get busy or start a hobby. I'd strongly suggest you visit your doctor. Depression is a terrible thing, and it is very common when people go through a divorce. If your sleeping and eating habits have changed, and you feel you are sad all the time, you might already be depressed, so please see your physician soon and have some tests run. If needed, also take anti-depressants for a while. Meds exist for this reason...to help us out when we have situations that we cannot control. Good luck.

melanie r
go see a counselor.

Well you try to work it out with the man/woman who wants the divorce. Try counseling, find out what the problem is, talk to him/her. Try every avenue don't just "give up". As for how to deal with the pain, you never just "get over it" people don't understand that you have to deal/cope with pain and get past it. Not just get over it!.. but... to deal with it you need to join a support group and possibly get some therapy. Divorce is tough, I assume you have children since you said you were losing your "family". Your children need counseling. NOW! Not 10 years from now when this has scarred them for life, they need it now so they can deal and cope with it on a healthy level. Good LUck.

focus on some new project...strat working out..it's a stress reliever:-)

time heals all wounds

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