I'm married but just got in touch with someone I had an affair with years ago...?

swickstrum	Seriously, if you want things to work with your husband, you need to cut off the communication. There are no good intentions by maintaining a relationship with someone you may (no matter if you say NO WAY) see at some point. I learned this the hard way, my now ex-wife found out about a woman I was "only" talking to, and it ended my marriage. Come to find out it wasn't near being worth it. The thrill of being sneaky goes away when there is nothing to be sneaky about. If you love your husband let it go.

althea0019	This can lead to a problem. On one hand, you may just need the attention socially that u r getting from this friend. Yo u have to ask yourself however what your true motive is, friendship or getting loving attention/friendship from another male. It is not cheating unless you cross the line. If you are hiding this friendship, or feel you have to hide it, then maybe that is a signal that it is not 'innocent.' You are being unfaithful if you are getting emotionally attached to him in the way you should be attached to your husband. Try to limit your time with this person and be honest with yourself as to whether your conversations are innocent or could be construed as more by anyone looking on.

AnnieD	Stay in touch but do not renew the affair, not even by expressing the memories via email. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a friendship as long as you both make an effort to keep it at that level!

Msright	A history of cheating! Here's a thought, next time you are chatting it up with your ex lover call your husband over and let him see who your talking to. his reaction... there's your sign!!!

Bradley's MoM	Get a divorce so your husband can find someone who loyal to him 100%. You obviously don't feel that way and he deserves better.

YO~NO~FUI E	NO! WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE, THAT IS THE REASON IT'S NOT WORKING. YOU CHEATING~ WHAT ARE YOU THINKING????? THINK ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND NOT ANOTHER MAN.............

B K	You are cheating, again. The history you share with him was wrong, and any involvement with him now is wrong, too. If you can't tell your husband about your contact with this guy, you already kow it's wrong.

Wild @ â™¥	Hard to let go of someone you have chemistry with. But marriage is a commitment of the heart and of the mind. Cheating isn't defined only by physical touch. This man from your past is divorced, however you are not. You have a lot more to loose. If you can't solve things with your husband then figure that out and free yourself before you begin a possibly devestating affair. Internet chatting is just a safer way to cheat, but that won't matter is your husband finds out.

sscott12414	Just because you have a history with someone doesn't mean that it is a good thing to keep things going. The history you have is of one that was something that could and still can ruin your marriage. If the two of you wanted to get together then there is always a way. That is how things start by talking and then comes the flirting and so on. The question is what is more important to you a man that you had an affair with that didn't contact you until he was divorce or the man that you call your husband?

orchidshel	If you love your husband and want to continue to be married to him. Stop talking to this man. It is totally wrong. There is something missing in your marriage that you are trying to fill again with this man. Look to your husband and talk to HIM! If you don't love you husband, then tell him, leave him and then you can pursue whatever you want.

Kira	it's just asking for trouble. That's all it was: History. in the past. Digging up the past can lead to trouble. Is your marriage worth losing over a man you had an affair with years ago? if it is then go for it. If not, then let it rest.

Fabe	I don't think you should be keeping in contact with him, because that will only tempt you..just imagine your husband had an affair years back and now he's back in contact with this certain someone..how would you feel? (got me)..unless you still want to persue something with this man, there should be no reason for you guys to still be in contact..

wish I were	I suggest you be a loyal and loving wife and leave the guy you cheated with ALONE! So what you have a history together, you shouldn't have a history together!!! I think you are very lucky you were able to hold your marriage together and should not take another risk! Your husband deserves better!

draftboyg	If you still talk to this guy you might as well be sleeping with him. Even though you don't see him in the flesh, you are cheating with your mind. Quit talking to him.

Question18.0	history repeats itself. do u wanna have another affair and riun ur marriage

Pr!nc3$$ 3nvy	if you love your husband and you feel talking to this man will mess up your marriage don't do it. but i understand the fact that you have history with this man. keep in touch if it will not affect anything. but, what if he ask you to take a flight and come meet up somewhere.

chaosinmotion	If you want to stay in your marriage, stop talking to him. Your husband won't be understanding about it, and he doesn't need to be. You cheated on him with this man, and to continue to talk to him is disrespectful to your husband. You can't have your cake and eat it too, even if all you want is friendship at this point. No, you're not cheating, but what you're doing isn't very nice either.

someone	the history you had was cheating on your husband you can cheat with your heart and mind I am sure your husband would not appreciate this I mean would you want him to converse with a woman he cheated on you with just beause they had history use your head

bonheur	Well if my husband had an affair and then started talking to the woman again (regardless of distance) I would be mad. I dont care if its internet or not. You should block him and be done with it. You are married to someone else and is it really worth losing everything you have and hurting 4 people?

Desiree D	I have no respect for people that have affairs for any reason. I don't think that you should keep in touch with this person. If you're married you made a commitment to that person and you should respect that...if you can't do that...divorce. People that have affairs obviously don't give a **** about the people they "love".

Lil Bit	If you really like him follow your heart.

?	That is not being "fair" to your marriage. How would YOU feel if your husband did it? I am not passing judgment here, just wanting you to see the other side of it. I wouldn't keep in touch, it leads to problems down the road.

Traci D	Uhhhh... Answer this question and you'll have the answer to yours. Do you want your marriage to work? Plain and simple. You absolutely CANNOT have both....and you know it. Dig deep down and only you will have this answer.

Ms. Q	You really need to find out what are this mans motives, do you think you will be able to let your spouse know you are keeping in touch with him and he will be comfortable with him, would you be okay with your spouse keeping in touch with someone from his past, be honest with your answers here, why did you fool around with this man, it doesnt sound like you are over him.

scottyirish	talk as Friends only u will be ok

brenda4ever	my suggestion is to forget about him, you have a history that's all why not work on the present and the future with your husband....

jkf728	It's still unfaithfulness, even if there's no physical contact. Be faithful to your husband.

Cait	If your in love with your husband still you shouldn't, especially if he knows about the affair. If your not in love with your husband anymore, then do the right thing and leave him.

www.treasuretrooper.com/186861	A history that was wrong to begin with. Don't go back down that road. Cut ties now.

fucose_man	You have absolutely NO business talking to this dude. Period. I find it weird that you feel some sort of obligation to maintain contact with your affair. You need to take some HUGE guilt pills.

tommy beresford	the clockworks of the relationship are different now, so it's not a bad behavior situation. it's wanting the familiar contact, the hint of no-no will make it more appealing perhaps dangerous like it was but the risk is not there. i was napping with the boss's wife a year ago but now it's moved on i see her regularly, get invited over for dinner but no napping anymore. it's nature, a relationship that works tends to do so and we in our most basic instincts want it to.