I'm married but possibly in love with a (married) coworker who kissed me. Is he just using me?

bLeSsEd	ummmm holly crap.....first off you both are married...are you freakin kidding me? meant to be? ummmm... guys are idiots...i mean HE kissed you...you should have backed off from there...i mean just because your marriage is "on the rocks" dont mess with other peoples marriages....how selfish could you be? this guys sounds like a moron...wait maybe you guys do deserve each other....

Annie	The number one problem here is..that most men will never leave there wife. I like to say it he will do it with you, he will do it to you. If your marriage is bad, and there is no way to fix it, get out and be alone for a while. If there is kids in your marriage, then do what ever it takes to make it work, before you do anything. A man that will cheat on his wife, is not a man I would give my love to. He needs to get out and find out who he is, before he moves on.

Sarah p	Your not in love your in lust, go take a cold shower, and pray his wife or your husband doesnt find out.

?	i think you guys are both confused and are having marriage problems. if you guys are meant to be, with time you will know. if you guys are still friends and get along after a long time of doing nothing, maybe you guys are meant to be with one another.

bitadkins	Hmpf. You both are just "looking for a reason to fool around". Neither of you are seriously working on resolving the problems in your respective marriages, you just want "easy outs" and you think this is the way to get it. All you're doing is creating another set of problems. WISE UP! If you're not going to work on your marriages, have the decency to end them and let those two people find mates that are better than two wanna-be-cheaters.

Battery Operated Boyfriend	He is struggling with the idea of having an affair with you. Avoid him. Look let your marriage die on it's own. Don't bring a 3rd party into it. You might not be getting along well with your husband but do you really want to live with the knowledge of how much you hurt him when he finds out you were cheating? I mean come on, it rips the other persons heart out.

LuLu	I don't think you're in love with your co-worker . . . you're in 'lust' with him. BIG difference!! Realize that, and leave him be.

Foot in mouth	I think you're both using eachother as a distraction for the problems in both of your lives. Let me save you the suspense: it's not meant to be. If you two are ever at a point in your lives where you are both officially single, then by all means pursue something. Right now, you're both just asking for big, BIG trouble.

blessed1	Nothing good will come out of this. You need to work on the problems you are having in your marriage now, not create more.

Jen S	the best way is to tell him to get a divorce and you do the same then see how you all feel once ur single.........i bet you wont even get to that point before he bails

gym_skate_chocolate	i dont know plz help me im in a crisis

M R	This is the start of what's commonly known as cheating. Get a divorce, then see if he there... Bet you'll be alone.

Saiyanman3	I think you both are having issues with this little "arrangement"......the bigger question should be whether either of you still love your spouses.......if the answer to that is NO, then you both know what you have to do, he's scared that if he goes 1st (divorcing his wife) that you'll stay with your hubby and he'll be left out in the cold.....it seems obvious that he's not interested in sticking around in his marriage and if you're not truly happy with your hubby, you need to end it as quickly and seamlessly as possible to avoid any more difficulties or anxiety along the way

Panama	Well, right now you are a horrible wife. Regardless of how you husband treats you. You are missing with another married man. You aren't in love. Maybe lust, but not love. You have no idea what love really is. You've known a guy at work and your in love. Your willing to move from a two-year flop of a marriage to a doomed relationship because you won't commit to anyone completely. If you don't love or respect your husband move out, file for divorce and then you can help ruin the life of this other guys wife. If he is willing to mess around with you when he's married and you behind your husband's back just how loyal and dedicated will you be to each other? Can you ever trust each other? NO! You definitely deserve each other though.

luisamapacha	He's using you. Tell him to call you when his divorce is final.

peek a boo	Wow that' a pretty deep problem. First of all, no matter how bad the marriage is, cheating is never an option. I praise you for trying to put some space b/w him and yourself. He needs to know that you don't want to hurt your husband. Second of all, you should be completely honest w/ your husband about the kiss and hopefully some things can be changed in your marriage that will help it. You just have to believe it's worth salvaging. I hope that this helps a bit and I'm hoping that you follow your instincts and try your best to make things right. Every marriage has it's problems, but it takes strong people who are in love to make it work.

Nancy Kay	There is NOTHING to figure out. You are both married. What part of married don't you get? Stop it all now or ruin two families...your choice.

blackned_wings	Ive had these relationship questions and feelings before (though ive never cheated) but im not married. You are. You shouldnt be treating your marriage as something so disposable. If your having problems or doubts with your husband settle them seperate of your feelings for the 23 year old (who in all honesty is just a kid compared to you. Your maturity levels are different and the way hes acting seems to back this up) The real issue here is the problems with your husband, the 23 year old is just a distraction and outlet for your frustration it sounds like. You need to work on those problems with your husband, without the 23 year old in mind.

sexinessloveness	Look I know you might have some strong feelings for this guy but you can't throw away old for new. Not because there is some problems now in your marriage hold on to it because those problems are gonna make you guys stronger. How would you feel if you found out your husband was cheating on you? Stop seeing this man before you loose everything, the lord gave you your husband because you guys are ment for each other. You must remember at all times that cheating is wrong in the sight of the lord.

bigdogg	This is just infatuation. Work on your marriage at home. Get a book called the five love languages and read it and maybe you can see where your marriage is going wrong and fix it. Plus if you get caught and get a divorce you will be paying alimony and child support if you have kids. Be careful

jules	You can ask him, but it's probably better to face the most likely fact that he just wants to get into bed with you and has no intention of leaving his wife. He is testing the waters by asking you about your husband. He is waiting for you to give him the go ahead to move in on you. That you are ready for an affair, because that is probably all it will ever be. Be very cautious about having an affair with a work associate. It usually ends very badly and one or both of you could wind up out of a job. If you two really think you are falling in love, then be grown up and fair enough to get out of your marriages first. Does your husband have any idea of whats going on? He deserves to know that you are unhappy and are looking elsewhere. If you still love him, try marriage counseling first before you abandon what you have to test the waters elsewhere. And remember, if this co-worker has kissed you and continues showing interest, what are his thoughts on fidelity. He could cheat on you as easily as he has on his wife. And yes, kissing others is a form of cheating if you are already married to some one else.

notyochic	YOUR TREADING OVER UNSAFE TERRITORY BE CAREFUL!! WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND!!

xyz	If you are not in love with your husband you should leave him so that you are not leading him on and if the other guy wants to be with you he would do the same other wise you are married and need to respect your self and your husband.

wizball	Apparently he knows that pursuing a relationship with you would be cheating on account of his marriage, but he can't seem to help himself because he has feelings for you. So you will have to be the one to put a stop to this. You do not need to avoid him, but do not accept flirting and definitely do not accept anything exclusive from him, such as a request for lunch alone. What you do need to do, is work on your own marriage and not look around for other guys when the going gets rough. And so does he. You are already married to the guy you are meant to be with. Good luck and God bless.

FaZizzle	You need to step away now. It doesn't matter that he kissed you. You kissed him back. You didn't pull away. You lost your marriage the moment you kissed him. You need to get out of the company and/or be straight with your husband--don't ruin two marriages because you and your coworker are horny.

cmrwash	The only reason you are asking is to find someone to say it's OK. well it's not. go to work on your marriage before killing two marriages

Wicked Good	Are you sure it's not just lust? To me he is basically wanting you on the side don't assume he's thinking of leaving his wife. And perhaps you should work out your problems with your husband. If you can't work it out then leave and start clean don't cheat. That isn't fair to your husband who you made the commitment to. And do you really think this guy will be faithful to you? It shows he isn't very respectful of his marriage or yours for that matter.