I'm married, is it ok to have a female friend?

molly d	Your wife is a *****

cheeks4u21	It should be ok.... But in this day and age....it isn't really I dont think because you are accused of cheating no matter what. I heard the "she's just a friend" line before & I got f**ked over. So I guess if you both trust each other enough then it shouldnt be a big deal.

goldeneat	she have to be proud of that people love you !!!!!!! sure it is OK to have a female friend ..

â™¥NEVARâ™¥	I've never been married so Im not one to be giving marital advise but, I had a similar problem with my ex, I have alot of male buddies and he ddnt like it, because he was insecure like your wife , it eventually ended the relationship, Im not saying end yours but, if she dsnt trust you and you bend over backwards to prove yourself constantly it can only get worse.

Martin Pedersen	Your wife has no right to prevent you from seeing another human being. When you are going to see your friend, look your wife in the eyes and tell her that you are going to see your friend, where you will be meeting her, and when you will be back. Don't hide it from her, don't lie to her, and don't let her tell you not to go.

Sean J	It depends. Your relationship with your wife needs to come first, before anything else. So if it really bothers her, then I would have to say no. But if she does say this, then what's good for the goose is good for the gander: you can require her to stop talking to any and all of her male friends as well. Sometimes it's not about being afraid of you as much as being afraid of the other person. My wife had a friend that would flirt with her mercelously. I asked her to talk to him about it, and she would just brush it off. Then one day he asked her (point blank) to have an affair with him. (I wasn't around, she told me about it later.) He assumed that since she didn't push him away when he flirted, she was open to it. She doesn't talk to him any more. She didn't think he was flirting, but I could see it. Sometimes your spouse sees something you don't.

gabby	if you had friends before you got married - you should keep your same friends

michelle5196	It all depends. Two important questions-- One--Is your past record clean as in no cheating, no ambiguity of other female "friends"? Two- Has your friend ever met your wife, does she ever ask how your wifes doing, show interest in getting to know her, even a little--(she is after all, your wife--one of the most important people to you on earth)- take an active interest (at LEAST verbally) in your wife as a person or is more of a feeling that she has to "deal" with the fact that you are now married to this other person? Trust me, these things make a big difference

WhyNotMe	lol, good one. They always see it different when they are on the other side of the fence.

rich2481	yes you should be able to have a lady friend,

Hi its me again	i didn't answer that one because most of the women say yes its ok, but when its reversed they would really not appreciate it at all. if my man had some women friend, that would stop the minute we got together because he couldn't have just a friendship, he's a guy, come on.

joyceeleann	I have the same relationship senerio. I have one guy I have know since I was in kingergarten (i'm 34 now and I have another guy friend for 8 years). It just depends on the relationship your in. You have to sit down and set the rules or what is expected before you married. You shouldn't have to give up friends because of your wife. Its very frustrating because my last marriage my husband would of killed my guy friend even though there is no physical relations. My current allows it but he has to be present. Its realllllly stupid if you ask me. If I wanted to sleep with them I would of definetely already done it while I was single. I side with you on this one.

Sparky	Good friends are hard to find. Especially long-term friends. Has your wife always been that controlling ? (probably) and you probably knew that already. Your wife's insecurity will ruin your marriage if it hasn't already. She needs to get over it and just make sure you and your friend don't go out alone or it can be conceived as dating....

JourdynnLeeigh	its ok if you have a female friend, and you have also know your female friend since you where five, so its really ok. Your wife needs to trust you and calm down, it is wrong of her to treat you this way.

Janet K	Absolutely not. There is not room in the relationship for a 2nd female. When you marry your wife, she's is the only woman in your life. I broke up with a man a couple of months ago who simply would not stop talking on the phone or hanging out with exes. I can totally understand where your wife is coming from. It hurts her when you talk to this woman away from her. It's considered emotional infidelity. Your wife should be your best friend, NOT this other woman.

mommyru07	My husband has several female friends... he includes me in on the friendship so it makes things easier.

m15	It should be OK, but be sensitive to your wife if you do things without her. Try to include her whenever possible with your old friend. Old friends are important to have and to keep.

Poppet	"All you women: Is your answer still the same?" Yup. (link for cross reference purposes)

pearl	No it really there is no proplam to not let my husben not haveing a female friend! but you have to talked to your wife and make her understand that she is just a friend with you in a very long time and its not easy to give this up! and talk to her about the trust thing! believe me talking is good !and let her tell you why she see it like that maybe she see something you don`t see

Shortstuff13	It's okay to stay friends, but most women look at it as a threat. Sometimes, it's the insecurities in a person that causes problems when a spouse has a friend that he/she wants to stay in touch with. Since your wife is going through your e-mails, etc. it is quite clear she doesn't trust you. A relationship is built on trust & until your wife truly trusts you, your relationship is in trouble. Have you tryed to get the two females together, to get to know each other? Maybe you could ask your wife how she'd feel if you invited your friend over to visit. Maybe dessert & coffee could be served. Does your friend have a spouse or significant other that could come along too? That may be just the ice breaker needed to prove to your wife that there is nothing but friendship between the two of you. Been there, done that, so I know exactly what your wife is going through.

Antonio F	From someone who's been thru something similar, I don't think it would be fair to you, to have to give up your friends in order for her to trust you, just like she wouldn't want to change her friends in order to be with you. Trust is very important in any relationship. So my advice is sit her down and talk to her....let her know how her lack of trust is hurting you and in the long run will hurt the marriage. Then try and have a situation where if it's not uncomfortable bring them both together, show her that she has absolutely nothing to worry about. Go out for drinks or dinner or something where you guys can sit talk and relax. Either way it's a rocky situation, and if it doesn't get fixed now it will be a different friend next time, and a different one after that. Good luck man

nwnativeprincess	yes, as long as your wife is aware and not feeling threatened.

wally	you should stop copying other peoples questions for a start

mardaw	I don't see a problem with it. I have been married for 29 years and have been friends with this guy I know for 22 years. My husband totally trusts me and knows that I am not going to mess around on him though. To get the kind of trust we have for each other takes a lot of time. Reassure your wife that she has nothing to worry about.

Tally	Yes, the answer is still the same!!! Spouse is jealous and there's no reason to be. A man can be just friends with a woman and a woman can be just friends with a man. It's possible as long as there is respect.

nailgal2005	My first husbands best friend was a woman whom he had known since grade school. Now my ex was a dog when it came to women (no insult to him, he'd agree with me) and I wouldn't have trusted him with a "new" female friend but I never felt threatened by her. I figured, if he had wanted to be with her he had plenty of time to make that choice before he met me. Talk to and reassure your wife and keep your friend.

Matthew L	If it was a new friend, no. But you've known the girl a long time. What I would do is probably only talk to the friend when your wife is present or get them to meet in person so that it shows that you have nothing to hide. The only male friend my wife has is in the Army so he's not around.