I've been keeping a terrible terrible secret from my husband, and i finally want to tell him!?

Danny Cooper	Tell him the truth in a very nice way, and if he really does love you and your son, he will look past this secret and understand.

Gia	Keep your secret for the sake of your family! He has bonded with your child and to leak out the secret will deprive him and your son of his family. The past is the past so if you want to confess to anyone go to your pastor or priest and they will not tell anyone and you will feel much better! None of us have been perfect so forgive yourself and keep your family together! I have seen on Maury show wives that have an urge to confess and destroy a happy home. Just keep your secret and be the best wife and mother!

Flouride	you'd be a dumb azz to tell him. he'll leave you flat and you'll be a single mom having to support the kid all on your own. if you think you really have to tell him wait until the kid is well past 18 and your husband's paid his way through college. in fact if you're smart once the kid's grown up you'll leave your husband and try to get as much as you can from him in the divorce and wait until your divorce is final before telling him. then it'll be way too late for him to do anything about it.

emilsignia	Pray that the truth doesn't come out because of something silly. i.e. "Mom, how come my blood type's AB negative and Dad is O positive?" Or the one bartender you told the truth to spills the beans. Or your son becomes best friend with a kid who turns out to be his biological brother and he feels a special kinship with the friend's family that he can't understand. Or he dates his sister. Etc. Let me ask you this: What's the difference between telling him ten years ago, five years ago or yesterday? Live in the present. Your husband is a stepfather that doesn't know he is. Take the "step" out of it. You're left with "father". Live in the present and focus only on today. If it makes you feel any better, hospitals in Great Britain estimated that 1 to 5 percent of births aren't to the father on the birth certificate. They don't tell, even though the different blood work's right there. There are many, many women living with the same secret.

angeloneus	You sinned when you didn't tell him the baby was his right away. You sinned if you all married because you were pregnant, and not because you were in love. But now, you are providing your son with a loving home and you and your husband are happy together. You cannot undo your sin by confessing it to your husband, you will destroy his life and your sons life because YOU sinned. It is currently only hurting you, so you should not destroy them and tell them. Confess to a priest, beg God to forgive you. But you have to live with the guilt unless you are willing to hurt everyone you love. It is your sin, your pennance is knowing that you are guilty and having to live with it in silence. Tell no one but God and your confessor.

Jen	O jeez that is a real tough one...listen..this is something you really need to tell him..not only because he has the right to know...but for your own emotional and mental well being...you obviously know this is going to be a life changing conversation (im not saying he will leave you) but its better to do it now...just dive into it ...just remember "Secrets Rot the Soul" - That quote changed my life..I had a very dark secret..got it off my chest..I did loose something very dear to me. But 2 years later..even though painful at times..life goes on Good luck

dontknow86	I would never ever tell him. It could be the end for all of you.

Vek	If you really must tell, don't do it now. Wait until your son is an adult.

Christie Brucks	i would say, keep your mouth shut, but it's clear you can't. there is no win from this situation. your son or your husband will not be pleased with the outcome. why come out?

ProudArmyWife	I would not tell him. You could be potentially be taking away your sons "father".

poopy	tell him, he deserves better than to live his whole life as a lie. honestly he'll probably divorce you, i would, but i doubt after 12 years he would abandon your kid, he's probably grown to love him

gina	Sooner or later he will find out, secrets aren't forever. Whatever the consequences are you must deal with it soon or you will drive yourself crazy.

leapfrog44	You should have told him a long time ago. You might try telling him since he seems to love you and your son. Marriage is for keeps no matter what happens. I would pray about this one.

iyamacog	WHY????? You've kept the terrible, terrible secret for 12 years, please continue to keep it sealed. Is it really worth destroying 3 lives merely to release your own guilt???......Some things are better left UNsaid!......â™¥â™¥

Horse	Pack your **** if you tell him, because he is going to tell you to pack and get the f out. Don't tell him. It doesn't matter, it will only destroy him. Unless of course that is your goal.

babs52	did your husband marry you because you were pregnant? Or because he was in love with you?That is the real question If it was for the childs sake then he should have ben told upfront Now I would,nt say anything let sleeping dogs lie

Track Star	Wow, as a father of three, you must tell him. That's too much pressure you're putting on yourself. He will not stop loving the child after all these years. But this will crush him very badly. Good luck and be careful with his feelings.

Jim	If you are serious, and you really don't want to destroy your husband, take that secret to the grave. Your idea is a noble one but do you think he will be able to trust you after you tell him? Just think if the roles were reversed.

Sheriff	Once you tell him, it wouldn't be a secret anymore. And your relationship with him and your son wouldn't be the same anymore, if you let them know. So it would be advisable to let your secrets die with you.

x2000	I say leave it in the past if everything else is going fine. If my wife told me such a thing, I would divorce her and disown the child. That's cruel for the kid, but I am not going to be legally responsible for a child that is not mine.

BBG	You take this secret to the grave. It is very selfish to want to unburden your conscience at someone else's expense. Will your "clean conscience" be worth it if you destroy a marriage and it costs your son an intact two-parent family?

Metal Cult	Don't say anything. Your husband is your son's Dad, he has been raising him, and your son doesn't know otherwise either. You have to not only think of your husband, but how telling him will mess up you son too should things go bad. You have to put your FAMILY first over this petty guilt you are feeling.

Abby	Its understandable that you would be afraid and want to but dont. I would suggest maybe finding someone you can talk to, not a friend or family member. A counselor. Not that I am saying there is anything wrong with you! But telling someone and getting it off your chest will help. Just don't tell your husband, you are all happy and life is good. Let it be.

K D	Don't tell him. The pain you will cause both him and your son will irreversible. You made a horrible mistake along time ago and now you have to live with it. Why should you get to alleviate your guilt by dumping the pain on him? Take it to your grave. If I was your husband, love for you would have nothing to do with it. I would be so angry and so deceived, I would be done with you.

legal docs Expert	In the interest of the child who has known this man as his father, will you please keep your mouth shut. What good will it do you, the man, or the child to tell this innocent man of this your twelve year old secret. You will be creating problems you cannot solve. There are millions of women who have the same secret like yours. May be you can tell him when the child is an adult.

MissM	You should tell him because everyone else is going to see the lack of resemblence and think it and possibly talk behind your back. Its possible your husband already knows if he did the math in his head and doesn't see his face in your son. Tell him and pray for the best. I bet after so long he will still stay with you and he will still love your son. He is a dad in the ways that count. Be prepared to tell your son who his real dad is because he will want to know.