I am 20 years old and want to have a baby, my boyfriend is not doing his part. What should I do?

supermom92508	Then don't keep pressing him about having a baby. If you "want to have a baby now"....he might not be the one to have a baby with. What should you do? Make sure that you have the finances to have a child; I have two sons with my husband and they are not cheap to have. We both have good jobs and have been married a long time. You should never have a baby with someone who doesnt want to have one with you....you are wasting your time with someone like that PLUS.....you may end up being a single parent. Find someone who you can see yourself spending your life with....not someone who doesn't share the same ideas as you do.

PErSon	well u shouldnt rush him into somethin so big, just cus ur a woman and uve been waiting ur whole life to have a baby doesnt mean he has to feel the same right now, just keep talkin about it and give him some time, maybe wait a couple more years, ur still really young obviously and its good to be ready for a baby.

ukblonde	Why now? You are far too young. Im 18 and can't imagine a life with a kid, are you married, got your dream career, house? Probably not at 20. Are you not at uni? If so how would you cope with a kid and a degree and i feel sorry for your bf, don't pressure him or you will lose him.

â€ Evonneâ€	Why would you want to have a baby with someone who is not doing his part? You need to get your priorities together first. Are you financially stable to start a family? Are you married? Are you right with God? Will you teach your children about God? What kind of environment will you be bringing up your child? Those things are very important. Once your child is here, you cannot send it back. Sounds like you are wanting a child for all the wrong reasons.

taylrrslullabye	Wow, this question hits really close to home for me. I was 20 when I gave birth to my daughter. However, unlike your situation, I didn't want a baby. My boyfriend and I did the best we could with our situation and things are great, but trust me, don't give up your youth thinking you want such a large responsibility as a baby. Once you have that child, help from your partner or not, your life is basically over. This is going to sound a little selfish, but you will have to get used to putting yourself last. The baby's needs are always first and you no longer get to do whatever you want when you feel like it, much less go places when you feel like it either. I get very little alone time and usually during that time I'm bogged down with dishes, laundry, and other chores. Please take my advice and think things through some more before you decide on such a life changing experience. Having a baby does not solve your life's problems and it won't help strengthen your relationships either, unless you are truly prepared and expect reality to hit you real hard. Enjoy your twenties and establish who you would like to be as a person before you drastically change your life by bringing another person into it. Why not get a puppy instead?

Jennifer W	Having a baby isn't about pressure, it's about pleasure. The more stress that is induced, the harder it will be to produce a baby. Stay calm, relax and just let it happen.

CynCity	OMG you really should be married first it's a lot easier. I know nothing is for sure but when your married it's not as bad. I have experience I had a son at 20 and it's not easy I wasn't married and because we were both so young he left. I had no support so I had to drop out of college, go on welfare, beg my parents for help, get a crappy job and I've been paying ever sense. I love my son don't get me wrong but it would have be a lot easier if I was in a stable marriage with someone who really wanted a child. You need to wait. I know you say you want one now but your not thinking of the consequences. Your just having this dream...it's not worth it wait until your older, you and your child will be better off. Don't make an Innocent child suffer because you "want it now" don't be so selfish and wait. You have plenty of time

roger_jnr	Who cares about marriage and an education or money or anything really. Just go around spreading you legs for a bunch of guys until you get knocked up. Then you can have your little baby that will be just like having a doll and you can dress her up in cute clothes and she'll give you the love you never had. And you can stop by the welfare office on the way home from the hospital. You can buy the expensive clothes and still keep your lifestyle of chain smoking and partying. People like me will pay your bills and raise your kid for you. You messed up child. What happened in your life?

speedy ski	GET A CLUE...HE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE A BABY WITH YOU

Sphin C	lol.. not doing his part..

Amy D	I hope he does know and I am glad he is not "doing his part" Your 20 why on earth would you want a baby now?

daljack -a girl	Grow up first and then talk to him about this. I think you'll be ready in about 5 years or so.

cocolatecafe	If your boyfriend isn't doing his part now, what the hell do you think is going to happen when you actually have the baby? Please get your life together first and then think about having a baby. It makes more sense to have a career and sufficient money first. Also, you are 20. You are supposed to be having fun and partying. To have a baby with this guy that is not doing his part now is a big mistake. He will be in your life forever and probably run away when the going gets rough. It's tough out here and the last thing you want in the end is to be heart broken because someone that you thought would be with forever decides he wants to give you a hard time when the baby comes.

ladyren	He is indeed doing his part.... he is telling you that he is not ready to become a parent, and you, sweets need to understand that. Read some of the posting on here...." I'm 19, we have two babies, no money, they are screaming all the time, I get no time to be me, I'm going nuts, what do I do?" (One like this about an hour ago.....) As well, be aware that one child is about to cost you your college education... and in case you hadn't figured it out, without one, you qualify for next to nothing on a pay scale. As well, each will cost you $250,000 to age 18, just two years younger than you!!!!!!!... and that is with nothing special.... just a full belly, tv, a computer and some dope in hs. Here's what my mom began hammering into my head at age 13. 1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart. 2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to 3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decadesâ€¦. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are foreverâ€¦. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!! 4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better. Don't get me wrong,.... kids are great. But at 20, you need to order up your priorities.. These four sent to you with love from my mom----

Kristina_UK_1999	Sorry but you BOTH have to be ready to have a baby. If he isnt then im sorry but you should respect him enough to wait. Its not like at 20 your biological clock is ticking and you are running out of time is it! If he is not ready yet then thats just that, you trying to pressure him into agreeing to have one will simply ruin your relationship and make him resent you. If you are super desperate and feel you really cannot wait try getting a dog!

purpledaisy0625	Don't have a baby with him. He is trying to tell you loud and clear that he isn't ready. DON'T trap him either, that isn't fair to you, him or the baby. If he doesn't want one, he shouldn't be forced or tricked and then expected to pay child support for the next 18+ years. Think long and hard about what you are doing. You have a long time to have a baby. These are some of the best years of your life, go out and enjoy them. There are so many people you will meet as you go through life, don't do something you will regret.

wiz kid	you mean he cannot ejaculate. If he he not letting you have one and it is important to you, then get a new boyfriend and tell him. If he still won.t give you a baby, then he does not love you and you need someone new.

metalmomma	Wow..little girl. Doesn't sound like you're mature enough to take care of yourself let alone a life. Wait...for your future child's sake.

hyabusawife	Too young. Finish college, then get married. Then talk about babies.

Pandora	he obviously does not want a baby now....you need to wait until both are ready. good rule one not ready or does not want no baby should be made. you still have plenty of time to have a child.

antswife	Compromise and meet in the middle. There is truly no hurry at 20 years old. Not being insensitive but get a puppy or a godchild.

Misty	does the baby want you to have him or her though? that is what you should be asking yourself. what do you bring to the table for this child? it doesn't sound like much.

doane_nut	Sounds like you are being selfish and at 20 are not ready for a baby. Sounds like your boyfriend realizes this too.

Tired Old Man	for one thing It would be best to get married. there are too many little kids with unwed parents running around.usually the man takes off,leaving the mom& kid on welfare.

Chick!	By the immaturity in this question I would guess that maybe you are not quite ready/mature enough to have a baby. A baby is something that two people should both want and I really don't think getting p*ssed at your boyf is going to make him come round

thsp	Find a boyfriend who wants to have a baby. The world doesn't need any more parents in it who don't want their child. At least he's being honest with you. If you want a baby, move on and find a man who also wants one now.

Lady Freyja	You shouldn't have a baby until you are both ready. Otherwise you'll be another single mom treating her baby's daddy like a walking checkbook and he'll hate you.

nicki11	Wait until he is ready as well, for men it takes some little extra time in order for them to be emotionally ready. You don't want to go into something as big as having a baby until you are both in the right mindstate for such a thing. It will make less complications and fewer arguments. My advice, would be to talk about it with him and see what his views are without putting any pressure on his back. Good Luck

Artemis	ok, you are only 20. You are very young to have a baby. Have you take parenting class? Do you know how hard it is to take care of a baby. Babies need 24/7 attention, and you can not do it by yourself. Do NOT push him to have a baby, if he is not ready. You are going to have all the responsibilities, because you are the one who wanted baby not him. Try to talk to him and figure the reasons he doesn't want to have a baby. Is he running away from responsibility, or he simply is not ready to have a kid. If he is running from responsibility, you should not be with him, but is he is willing to have a baby in few years, make a plan and follow it. Make financial plan, see where you both want to be in few yeas, and follow that. Hopefully it work out for you. Good Luck