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I don't like my mother-in-law?
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I don't like my mother-in-law?

I have been with my husband for over 4 years. His mother called me a s*ut the first day I met her, I was a 18 yr old virgin dressed in jeans. She said she would never pick someone like me to marry her only child. She tried to break up our 3 yr long engagement. She screamed at her son and told him he had no business getting married to me. She would walk into the room and refuse to acknowledge my existence. She told her family and friends lies about me and my family. And I was always respectful and never once said anything mean to her.

After 3 years of trying to be her friend I realized nothing will ever please this woman, no one wants to be around her and she has no one but her cat. I see her once a month and I am nice to her but I don’t talk to her unless I have to. Her son doesn’t even want to be around her. I don’t have to like her just because she is my husband's mother, but I do need to be polite to her out of love for my husband. Can anyone relate?

I don't envy you your situation. Since you only see her once a month you should be able to continue being polite to her. I'd say she doesn't like herself very much and was desperate to hang onto her son. She sees you as a threat. Continue to treat her with respect. It may not change her, but you'll be able to look yourself in the mirror.

Perhaps you should say this prayer each month before you see her (from Beliefnet.com):

Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to be understood as to understand,
not so much to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.
~~~ St. Francis of Assisi

I pray you and your husband can continue to be respectful of his mother. Pray for her. Lift her up to our LORD in prayer, that whatever is causing her to be so bitter be lifted from her, that she be healed. Bless you for continuing to be respectful in the face of her mistreatment.

I had exactly the same problem with my mother when I first started dating my wife and when we got married my mother didn't even want to come to the wedding but my Aunty dragged her along. Talking to other family members she had been trying to destroy other relationships for years.
We just got on with our marriage and ignored her activities and didn't let it affect us in any way. Over the years she mellowed but didn't really change. She asked me once to choose between my wife and her. I told her that if I had to choose she would loose. If you have the support of your husband you will win out in the end but don't let her actions change you from being the person you want to be.

I can relate to you...my ex mother in law was the same way. I tried to be nice out of respect for husband (now ex) but she would say the meanest things to me. It worsened when we had kids. I am now divorced. but while I was going through the divorce this woman went to my son's gifted teacher and asked her to sign a paper stating that I was a horrible mom to my kids. She was horrified and refused. She has even told me how to raise my childen. Even though she wasn't my mother, I was so embarrassed. I have been divorced for 9 years now and she finally leaves me alone!! My nickname for her is Wicked Witch of the West!!

What you are doing is the right thing. I think she is still heartbroken, that someone took her only son away from her. Maybe she having a hard time with it, that is why she is so mean to everyone. Maybe you and your husband can start your own family and have your own child. If, of course, you both are ready. But when that time comes, involve her. Children bring out the best in everyone. But if you are not ready, keep doing what you are doing. In time, she'll realize she can't do anything about it anymore, but be happy for her son.

Stay Strong!

Yes, I can relate~!! I feel for you...the least contact possible is the best solution...

MOVE..LOL that seems to be my answer for everything....But it's what we did...Told them all to Kiss our ***'s...and couldn't have made a better decision or choice to do so.

People..especially families butt in way too much in a couple's life...I personally think that's where alot of the divorce's come from..FAMILY members not knowing how to mind their own business...when left to your own accord...You can live blissfully...

OMG...You must be living my life. Only you get off easy, you only see yours once a month. Try nearly daily!!! My mother-in-law is a neat freak and you will not find even a speck of dust anywhere around her. I have 2 kids (w her son) and God so help me if there is a little dirt under their nails or dirt on there feet (we live on a dirt road). Also I am not a neat freak and she goes on for hours on end on how dirty my house is. My house is clean but lived in by a 6yr old and a 1yr old. Also my MIL paid for us to get married and then tried to talk my husband into divorcing us (her treat)

Yep I can totally relate....

movie buff
i will tell u what to do.

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