I gave my son 30 days to find a place to live. He dropped out of Highschool, is defient, and lazy. Time is up.

waiting for baby	have courage and you are doing the right thing explain to him that you want the best for him but since you seems not to be able to provide it you think maybe he will be able to get it by himself and if he ever decided to clean up his life you will always be their for him Goodluck

Dutchess	That is a tough one and my heart goes out to you as a parent. I am sure this is very hard. Sometimes tough love is the best thing for our kids, as hard as it is for us parents. You just need to let him know the expectations of the house and if he cannot abide by them he cannot stay. Its his choice then, he has no one to blame but himself. Stick to your guns, always let him know you love him but cannot participate in his destructive behavior. Good luck to you.

Sherri Nurse	My 15 year old is headed down the same way but as much as it hurts you have to do this, it may shake him and scare him and show him how he had it made.Be strong as tough love is what is needed here..

jeanniep	this is really sad for you and your son. honestly your doing the best thing for him, he might not realize it now. but if he won't continue school or get a job and be a respectable person then this is HIS choice, not yours. you can't continued paying his way forever and making excuses for him. he has to grow up.

Kay	You got an apartment and left him in the house??? I'm confused. Sounds like he has grown accustom to the role of lazy sponge. He is counting on you to have a conscience by holding out until the last second and forcing you to tell him where to go. He certainly does not have a conscience, but he wants you to feel guilty. I would look up Peace Corps or the local shelter. If you dropped him off at the shelter, I guarantee as soon as you drive off, he will be calling one of his bum friends to come get him. He has a lot of growing up to do. He is 18 now, an adult, and now he is in the REAL world that has adult problems. Babying him is doing him a disservice. I say drop him off at the shelter!

fosmom	I feel your pain Dad - I too have a similar situation with 18yo daughter. She barely graduated h.s.; was asked to leave a really great job, had a car, crashed it, we fixed it, then we finally took it back and sold it, crashed my car and totalled that; doesn't know if she wants to go to school and seems more than happy to just exist. Our plan is this, she turns 18 this week, following that, she has to stay employed, be financially responsible and if in the fall she chooses to not go back to school, she pays rent and has to leave within a year. You must stick to your guns Dad! Something has to make this boy into a man. He should be more than able to get a job, rent a room and learn to survive. Doesn't mean you stop loving him, and helping him in SMALL ways, a gift cert. for a grocery store, change for the laundry mat, stuff like that, no more bailing him out. I know what happens when you over compensate for that missing parent - i too did the same thing. my husband, her stepdad, deserves saint hood because he didn't have to tolerate all she's done. good luck to you.

friskySueZq	Oh my my my, I feel for you and understand what an awful position youâ€™re in. Tough love isnâ€™t easy to give but is exactly what youâ€™re up against. If you continue making it easy for him to be the lazy drop out thatâ€™s all heâ€™ll be. And if you leave him to his own devices, which heâ€™s shown arenâ€™t much, heâ€™ll have to either succumb to his â€œVERY OWN BAD CHOICESâ€ or figure out how to fix the â€œMESS HEâ€™S CREATEDâ€ for himself. From what youâ€™ve said youâ€™ve already done all that you could do to help him make better choices, so there isnâ€™t anything else except to either join him in his wrong thinking or by your EXAMPLE show him that â€œHEâ€™Sâ€ got some serious life altering changes to make. Itâ€™s not easy, I know (I have two grown sons) but if you choose the â€œtough loveâ€ approach you could be saving him from himself and helping him to make a better life down the road! Ultimately heâ€™s going to do what he wants to do (as youâ€™ve seen so far) regardless of what you say, do, or want him to doâ€¦ so why not give him a blast of reality (that he so desperately needs) and leave him to deal with his consequencesâ€¦ heâ€™s made his bed, time to let him lay in it! Good luck and God bless you both!

Daisy 13	That is a case of "Tough love" and as hard as it is and as much as it will hurt you...you are doing him a favor of not putting up with his lack of respect for you and himself. He needs this and you need to get your life back! I do feel sorry for him in the way that he needs to grow up and take responsibility for himself and seems his friends are no help. This will either help him to see the light and get his life in order or he will end up a live-in with one of the bums he hangs around with...either way I know you love him, but you can't always be there and pay his way through life he has to learn how to do that himself. Good Luck to you and keep that attitude don't give in or you will be supporting him and his behavior.

Aron1968_30	It doesn't feel like it now........ but you've made the big first step in making him a man. He's been able to float along... blaming his mom, your wife, your divorce... for his trouble. Sorry... but that's not how the world works. The world doesn't care how bad you think you've had it. I think he's trying to bluff you into giving up... he's going to have his stuff packed, but in his mind he is thinking that you'll back down. A few nights hopping from friend to friend... or maybe in a shelter, will give him a better appreciation for you and what you've tried to do for him. I would tell my son that the door is always open, but coming through the door means that he accepts my rules and my way. He goes to school or he works... but if I don't see 40 hours a week of effort on his part, than he can find another place to bum. And I'd have a strict "Food in/Food out" policy. You can take food OUT of the fridge if you put food IN the fridge. Its rough, man, and I feel for you... but you've got to give him the pink slip on his life. Good luck and God bless

tballmombabe	Blame the adults (including yourself) in his life for not giving him a proper up bringing.. it's too late now he will have to learn to finn for himself if he don't wind up doing life with out parole in some prison first.. Parents who spare the rod, spoil the child and it always comes back to bite you in the butt...

New Nana	First, I believe this is your first teen. How were the examples that were set for him? Hum, Mother no good, Had to deal with an ugly deal with a step mother. I am not saying its your fault at all. Just whose fault is it? He is really not much different than many I know myself. I have a daughter I didnt think would ever grow up. They do, with a lot of hard knocks. Be patient, Stand by the rules you set, Dont hand him the world on a platter. Believe me they do grow up and there will be a day you will miss him. Good luck to you.

MJL613	I hate to say it, but this is not a situation that just happened over night. This has been coming for quite some time. Where is his other parent anyway? Has he been living in your house alone for a year? What kind of parent moves into an apartment and lets his kid take over the house? None of this makes any sense to me. I see all kinds of mistakes that have been made already. This kid should have been knocked down a few pegs when this behavior first started. Now, he is going to have to put up or shut up. He can get a GED and get a job but he is going to have to learn some hard lessons and fast. If his other parent is still around, you should probably speak with each other and come to some sort of understanding as far as how to deal with this. Whatever you do, it won't be easy. Bottom line, he is 18 now and he is old enough to be responsible for himself.

FridaY	Kick him out. He can go to a shelter/work program. Tell him you won't take his calls until he proves to you he can be an adult, job and GED etc. Tough Love my friend. If you don't do it, who will?

Candi is Dandy	You did the right thing!!! I'm dealing with from my brother. I'm 25 and he's 23. I pay for EVERYTHING. He has jobs sporadically, but can't keep one, and he was a drop out. I have actually kicked him out a few times, but somehow he always manages to to weasel his way back in. He does help pick up my son from school/camp, and takes car of my dog, and cleans sometimes, but he doesn't help at all financially. I'm a single parent with a really good paying job, but still. I'm shouldn't be responsible for him too. My mom refuses to let him live with her, bc her husband is dead set against it, and our dad isn't around. His friend who he lived with before, the whole household are drug addicts and thieving bums, so I don't want to send him there. Anyway, back to you, (sorry), he cold find a shelter to stay at. I can't stand how so many kids are spoiled today and they have no since of responsibility. Once he's out of your house he'll have no choice but to grow up and be an adult, and pay his own way. Good Luck!

dmjrev	Couch surfing is the usual mode for these young people. I think he will be very surprised if you follow through on your threat. You might suggest Job Corps but that may be difficult with the DUI but he could ask. It is a government program that provides education, housing and job training. It is a tough program but I have seen it benefit young people who are in your son's situation. The truth, he won't listen to you when you tell him where to go and what to do. He will only do what pleases him. There is help out there if he wants it. That is the key, he has to want it. A good wake up call may be your only hope. If you give in now on your threat, he will never take you seriously. Your son has a tough road ahead of him and unfortunately so do you. You might want to seek some professional advice concerning this situation and your desire to help that leads to enabling.

floridaman39us	One day he may regret what he did. Divorce is never good for kids. These problems started years ago.

fstopf4	Unfortunately if youu back down this will never end, He will probably sponge off his buddies until they won't tolerate it either. When they tell himm to get a job maybe the light will come on that you were just looking out for his future. I wound up doing the same thing with my stepson, he moved in with his grandma, then a couple of friends when she got tired of the freeload game. They put up with him for a while them gave him the boot, finally he decided that he didn't like no life and got employed and his own place. It took a while but now at 22 he's responsible and we get along pretty well. I know it's tough but if you back down the situation won't change except he will have even more contempt for you since you threaten but won't follow through

baha_smokey	If he's a school dropout and got fired from his job and has a DUI..then let him suffer..He will soon be bored with the way he is living..unless he finds a woman-toy-boy...J/K..he's not under age,so put him out..he can't expect everyone to carry him financially...

MelT	I don't think you realize that even at the age of 17 your son is still a CHILD! He may act like an adult or do adult things but he is still in need of your care and guidance. Throwing him out to the streets to fend for himself will only ruin his life and your relationship. What if he ends up on drugs? What if he ends up pursuing a life of crime? You would feel that guilt for the rest of your life. If he dropped out, help him pursue other means of making something of himself. There are GED programs in lots of community colleges. He can still go to college with a GED. Encourage him to do this. It's not that hard. So he got a DUI, he dropped out of school and he can't keep a job. Does that mean you can disown him as your son? Absolutely not! The example you are setting now will have an impact on him as a father. He too will abandon his children just like you are planning on abandoning him now. Aren't there enough fatherless children in this world? Aren't there enough deadbeat dads in this world? Do yourself a favor. Rethink your actions and thoughts. Constant positivity and encouragement are needed to make a child an adult. Try to help him get to the root of his problems or accept that he is just too immature to make the right decisions. Talk to him about making the right ones. DON'T turn your back on him now. You'll regret it in the end. Good Luck.

foxy lady	thats a hard decision but he will find friends or get him into a trade school where he can live their and learn a trade too its for trouble teens or job corps. thats a good place for him they will help him get his deploma and a job and an education i wish you luck and hope the best for you and him

pinniethewooh	He will probably stay with friends - from one house to another until they get fed up with him as well. We took in a couple of 17 year-old friends of my stepson. They burned their bridges at different places including ours and are now back with their parents. Try to help him get his GED and find a job. That will hopefully get him on his own track.

James D	they get caught up in drinking and doing drugs more and they go from friend to friend til they have nowhere to turn so be sure b4 u kick him out b/c he may fall harder then u think and in most states the parent is responsible for there kids up till 21

tool	Drop him. He needs to learn the hard way. He's 18, it's not your responsibility anymore. You give an inch he will take about a billion miles it sounds like. My aunt and uncle did this with my cousin and it always just got worse until they severed ties. Just say it's nothing personal, it's just how life works and that you need to get real. If it doesn't sink in now it will. Good Luck.

javelin	There comes a time when you have to allow people to hit rock bottom. Tell him very clearly that if he decided to come and live by your rules he is welcome back any time. As long as he keeps up this crap, he is out. Give him the numbers of a rescue mission or the YMCA. He can go live with his friends. Maybe give him 500 bucks to find a temporary place. He needs to find his way.

buttlerfly fly	why don't you try to get him psycological help? He is obviously in dire need of attention. It must be pretty hard having both parents not want to do anything with you.

Mergler	keep it up. hitting bottom now is better than hitting bottom 5-10 years later. Youre doing the right thing. Its only natural to feel bad for what youre doing..he's your son of course...but he needs to be held accountable... No school? no job? put him out on his own..

dave n	This may be the kick in the *** he needs to get started on straightening himself out. He will find someplace to stay but it wont be for long. People have a tendency to keep their own bums but dont really like keeping other peoples. He may have to move from friends house to friends house for awhile but he will either find a job and keep it or he will have to go to a shelter. Let it go he has to find his way on his own, if he gets his life in order you can offer to help him again but you have done enough

Jammin EMmm	tell him he needs to learn to deal with his own life you shouldnt have to put up with things like that, he is an ADULT. tell him he needs to get his act together, and you are not going to help him do it.

You ask, I answer	they end up with friends whose parents don't give a crap. good for you! he needs to be out. take a stand with him, and don't cave in. tell him he needs to find somewhere to go.