I have been married for seven years and feel trapped. My husband is verbally abusive! I know he loves me but

tallerfella	This is all about control and HIS low self esteem. I would suggest counseling but I don't think he will go. Your only other options are to go to counseling alone, or leave him, and I know that sounds scary. But remember that your children are learning from his actions. Good Luck

hutmikttmuk	Are the two of you open to some marital counseling? Most churches will offer free marital counseling or recommend a good source. You need a mediator who can help him see how his words hurt, you need someone to help him get to the bottom of his anger, and you need to learn some good communication skills.

RayRay	Make him read all these answers

I'm Gonna Tell You	Don't say you can't make it on your own. That's why he knows he can do this to you. Either put up and shut up, or start taking steps to get yourself respected. He might be feeling a lot of pressure to keep you in the lifestyle you want. Maybe you should get a job and help him provide for the family. First, check your yellow pages for child care placement, these agencies specialize in low income day care. Second, find a quick trade school like ITT tech or Olympia schools where you can get a certification in a year or less. Third, get a job and do it. You will feel better about yourself and so will your husband.

ABBYsMom	Get a lawyer, you'll end up with the money, the house and whatever...

*tina21**	I am in the same boat as you. Email me and we can talk if you want. tianarachelle@yahoo.com. It is hard. I got 2 kids and don't know what I could do and don't want to lose my children or have them in day care all day long. so hard. I am starting counseling though to help me leave if I need to.

real	try to ask this same question with more details...becus by sayin tht u can mean a lot of things..and i can't help if i don't have a basic of the situation

celticdragon	look first thing is no lady should ever feel trapped in there marriage. your hubby is use a form of control over you by saying he going to take all the money. if you love him and he love you you both need to gets some help from a counselor of a marriage counselor.. if he is not willing to go then you go.. and if he is still doing it to you. get out of there . There are program in you town that can help you out and your kids. no lady should ever feel trapped in there own home.. good luck my lady and please find some help before something goes wrong..

Innocence	AWWW GIVE HIM A TASTE OF HI SOWN MEDICINE

guess	get away from this guy ,,,,you sound like you don't have self esteem,,,,,get a divorce and hit him with child support.....don't be afraid because that's why he does what he does and that's called verbal abuse ,,,,,don't stay be wise;;;;;;best of luck

Mechelle	but what? You need permission to get a divorce..

Mrs	If he said he is going to leave you. That means he already has it planed and sooner or later it will happen. Find a job and start to plan your self. Be more assertive and say flat out what's on you're mind. Do not let any one belittle you LOVE YOU'RE SELF!!! & when you find a job start to save and leave him. Or if the situation is unbear able let him leave & then this is what you have left in the wonderful world of laws. If he leaves you can sight him for abondonment and he will have to still provide for the house hold and give child support and until you get back on you're feet he has to give you alemony mide you don't take anything under the table cause then it's tax deductable. Make sure it's all legal "think" each child is at least $350 +home +alemony till you get back on you on you're feet that is another $300 or so this is all per month I'll say you're better off alone. ( No matter what you decide always carry you're self up high and keep you're chin up be proud of who you are and don't let any one tell you other wise!)

?	If he loved you as you think he wouldn't be verbally abusive to you. He would have nothing but kind words for you. Maybe he's like that because his home life wasn't so good when he was a kid. Maybe his parents were verbally abusive to him and this is why he is this way with you. Being verbally abusive is just as bad a being physically abusive to a person. It tears you down and shows that he has no respect for you at all. This is not love my dear. Talk to him about it and try to get him to stop.

sawgirl513	I have read some of the answers above- and I say> sometimes its easier said then done- I know some or most of what you are going thru- I have been doing it for almost 18 yrs now- I think men get like "a time of the month" thing going on inside of them- not all men- some are more normal than others-but theirs occur at different times and for different lengths of time- one minute they are telling you "great dinner honey-love ya" and the next minute they are saying "why don't I ever have anything clean to wear, that we spend all their money on foolishness" when in fact- we spend money on food,clothes,and bills- and they buy themselves a new tool, or fishing pole, or get lunch out- while we are stuck at home- doing the dishes, the laundry, taking care of the kids- and putting up w/ their crap- how on earth could we have a bad day just sitting at home doing nothing- LOL- my doctor wanted to put me on medication for depression- I told him there was no point in it- that if I was in a good mood and my hubby came home in a good mood too- then everything was fine- but if I'm in a good mood and he came home in a bad one- so much for my good one- everyone was gonna pay hell- I bet you know exactly what I'm talking about- Good Luck hun- you gotta make up your own mind- and no one can tell you what to do- cause until they walk a mile in your shoes- they don't know what you go thru everyday- Email me- Keep in touch->I'm at Yahoo! =)

nwnativeprincess	HE DOSE NOT LOVE YOU, HE THINKS HE OWNS YOU. MAKE A PLAN AND FOLLOW THRU WITH IT. GET A JOB DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF INSTEAD OF BEING A DOOR MAT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE IT ON A VERBALLY ABUSIVE PERSON.

thissite_sucksthebigone	R u just stupid??????????????????? Leave now. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

desayunogratis	Sweety I feel bad that some boys act like that. Real men will treat their wives like goddesses especially if you gave them the gift of kids. You deserve to be treated like a queen and you should demand it.I don't think being verbally abusive is in your nature so the eye for an eye option is out.Stand up and believe in yourself. You are a strong woman that gave birth, what can he possibly compare to that.

haki	Dont let him insult you.....that is phiscological abuse after that he will start being more rude to you and probably he will bet you....stop him......if he dont listen to you you will have do someting else call to battered woman they will give you good tips .

mary c	you go straight to a womens shelter they will let you stay until you find a job and a place to stay. they will help you overcome your problems...believe this abuse will get worse unless he can admit he has problem it wont get better it willllll be alot worse you dont need this kind of treatment ...go get help now at the womens shelter they eill direct you in the right way...good luck!!

livetall1	if he loved you he would not verbally abuse you - i know it's hard when you have three kids and no $, but you have 2 choices - stay or leave - it's up to you - i stayed with a verbally/emotionally abusive man, but i had a game plan - i got myself a good paying job - got a great network of supportive friends - reached out to family - gained independence and confidence & then was able to leave him - this was not overnite - it was over a course of three years, but it is do-able. don't just sit there and say "I wouldn't be able make it on my own" - plot out a course of action and do it - i knew i would be able to leave him eventually and that's what got me thru the bad days - you also have to look at how this abuse is affecting your kids - mine both had to see therapists for quite a while to get over the abuse - it's not just you suffering, it's your children also and the parent that stands around and watches the abuse is just as guilty as the parent who is abusing - if you are being verbally abused, i'm sure they are also. there are also government agencies that help women like you - look into it - you obviously have a computer - get on the internet and start researching!!

linda b	He is a callous and immature individual and doesn't deserve you. With three children in the fray you have to be thinking of them. They must know he is unkind and nasty to you. If you stay around they will copy him and grow up to be immature and abusive too. Take charge of your life and your childrens. You can do it. It may seen a major mountain to climb but there is help out there. Seek advice, Citizens Advice will be able to help. You have the kids, he needs to move out and leave you alone and in peace.

Pencil	Leave.

Cobra	You deserve better, and to me, you can't be in love with a person and verbally abuse them. thats not love.

just_me_1955	same ole crap from a winey woman god get real any one who stays in a relationship like this is sick there self!!!!!!if he loved you as you say he wouldn't treat you like this and how could you love some one like this?????

tabby	No one has to put up with any kind of abuse. I been though mental and physical abuse myself and I have two children. I was able to get out of the relationship and support myself and put myself though a 2 yr college program. It is easier than you think. I first went to a women's shelter and they helped me get started--helped me find a place and got me started on my own two feet. Then I found a job and then I also applied for grants to go to college. Amazing what you can do for yourself...I also attended support groups because I was believing that I couldn't do it on my own with 2 kids and I was no good (stem from the abuse). You can do it! You will be fine. It won't happen overnight but, you will get though it.