I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. Why doesn't he discuss marriage? I want to leave?

Dave	He is using you for his own security. Time for you to move on.

SOCIETY CLEANSER	im 23 and in the 6th year of a relationship, I have been kind of dragging my feet the last 2yrs on marriage, but i have come around and we should be enganged within a few months. Maybe he too will come around... good luck

Tito G	This person here (your boyfriend) doesn't love you ? After five years of no commitment and your not in his future plans that tells you something . You are just wasting your time and aren't getting any younger . look for someone interested in commitment or marriage

SlowClap	I can't relate, but if you want to leave...that's probably why he doesn't want to discuss marriage. He wants things to stay the same--greedy little boy wanting all the candy and no responsibility. If you want a commitment, you'll have to leave this guy and find somebody who'll give you one. People take what you let them take. He's gotten used to being with you and not having to treat you as an equal. I guess you could try giving him an ultimatum--since you're thinking of leaving, anyway, this might be a good way to push yourself out the door. Just be honest and say what's bothering you--you'll never be happy while you have this resentment simmering and never get it resolved. He won't change unless you give him a good reason to. In five years, he hasn't moved the relationship ahead, and that's been plenty of time. Move ahead or break it off--you deserve to be in a relationship, not in a holding pattern. And remember--as long as he's with you, you could be holding him back from a truly satisfying relationship with someone who doesn't want to break up with him.

Mr Business	Maybe he is just keeping you and trying to find another girl and wants to use you as a backup if that doesn't work. Just give him the choice, marry me or leave me

TheOracleAtDelphi	He hasn't discussed marriage since he's already married. Leave him.

J.L.F.C	tell him to go to hell and leave

Rachel	He doesn't want to marry you. It's really that simple. Move out and move on!

Titicaca	I can relate to that..... what I did was I ended up breaking up with him for good.. He wa a good guy but him and I werent on the same path..we were just walking parallel to each other but his visions and desires simply werent mine.... I sometimes feel I wasted 4 yrs of my life but at the same time it was a learning experience... what I learn...is I come first, then second and the last....

bigfree_2005	I say its time to go.

dukalink6000	Leave. It is time to fish or cut bait at this point. My girl waited ten years, only because of financial considerations, but marriage was always on the horizon

Quasimodo	This reminds me of an old saying..... "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for nothing" Am I making myself clear on this sweetie? Does THAT give you some insight as to your "Why doesn't he" question?

Sugar	Next time really leave if only for a day or two.He does not want to commit . But wants all the convenience of a relationship.You Know what I mean. You have got to be bold enough to make a decision that works for you.That getting upset may just be a ploy to keep you there for his convenience Take my word for It ...I know the Type.

Your_Star	He just doesn't want to settle down...even though you guys have been together for 5 years. Give him an ultimatum. That's the best thing you can do for yourself.

liver_snatch	Then GO!!!

Naddo	donkey punch

Amaya	I'm usually totally against ultimatums but in this case it may be the only solution. I think that five years is long enough to know whether or not you want to be with someone forever. I seriously don't know why some people are so afraid of marriage. If you want to get married and have a family some day and it seems that he doesn't then you will just end up miserable in the long run. You will just regret the time you have wasted so it might be best to get out now rather than later if he doesn't come around. I'm sure you will be okay! Good Luck!

pearl101	Don't beg him to marry you and don't wait forever for him to make up his mind! It's simple...he doesn't want to commit, but you do! Maybe you are not compatible? Do you think it's fair that you wait around for him to make up his mind (if that ever happens)? I've never been in that situation particular situation. However, I haven't been in situation where I wanted to get married and he didn't.

â™¥â™¥â™¥GODDESSâ™¥â™¥â™¥	he is waiting for when he feels its the right time to break up with you....so do it b4 he does.

NENA	I can realate to this. It looks like he wants to have u there to just have u but when u wanna pick up and leave him he cant stand to be with out u. u are better off just leaving him and when u do just give yourself the strength to never look back and move forward. U dont wanna waste ur time with him any much longer. If u keep wasting time going on and off u"ll never find MR. RIGHT

NONAME	i was in this situation. i am the guy. i was with someone for 12 years. i never even thought of marriage. she eventually left me because ...well i never brought it up and she gave up. by the way the relationship had started when we were 16. anyway, my point is this-take it from a guy who's been in your boyfriends shoes-HE AIN'T NEVER GONNA ASK-its probably gonna save you both a lot of heart ache if you just leave now-before it goes on any longer. who know's maybe he'll see it differently without you and come looking for you then? ps: happily married

apriljm76	I was with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years, living with him for the last 6 months. I brought up marriage on Tuesday night and tonight he is coming by to get the rest of his stuff and is moving out. I just don't get men.

tumbleweed1954	I agree with dumpllin. You're wasting your time if he hasn't made up his mind by now. Since he apparently doesn't really love you I'd say he's just using you. Dump him! The way he's treating you why would you want to marry him? You can do better....and you will!

Johnny Rockstar	As a guy and in a similar situation with you - I never ever want to talk about marriage. I just dont want to be married. My girlfriend laid the option on the table, we talk about the future or I find a new girlfriend. She didnt want a ring on her finger, she wanted to know my intentions and I think thats fair. If you force him to marry you, forget it. Just start filing for divorce papers now.

ricepat2000	Yes. I would stop making idle threats first, you have to be true to your words. If you don't want to be in a relationship that is not going in a positive direction, then get out. Where the money is concerned; If your money is combined in an account at this point. I would stop doing that. Get your own account for starters. This is a small but concise step to show him that if he is not trying to move forward toward marriage with you, then you are moving forward also. If you aren't sharing an account together then, he is probably not including you in financial decisions because you aren't married, and he feels that what he makes and how he spends it is not your concern.

dumpllin	If he hasn't made up his mind by now chances are you are just wasting your time