I have decided to tell my husband about my being unfaithful to him since I've been stationed in Iraq.?

leapyrangels	DID YOU LOSE YOUR MIND?????? why in the world would want to tell him this? If you're feeling guilty then you deal with that all by yourself. once you open your mouth you will be in deep choppy waters and drown. he will NEVER EVER TRUST YOU AGAIN!!!!!!! if you feel that guilty then DON'T EVER CHEAT on him again. and chalk it up to experience. you take this secret to the grave with you.

Gerry D	I stick to my original answer. You should not tell him, but instead speak about a separation - do you plan to do all this from a far away place? Or wait until your tour is up? Since you have decided so fast - I suppose you won't even give the decency of telling him to his face. You really shouldn't do this in this manner. A response by "Flyhasitall" listed above is the answer that I agree with most on this question. Separation can do funny things - again, no judgements here, just a suggestion to reconsider your actions of discussion on this matter.

Tony M	dang. if you are going to tell him the truth. tell him about the 1st guy then when it hits him tell him about the 2nd guy. he should only start learning to accept the fact then.

VirtueOfIntolerance	the only thing you should tell him is THE TRUTH! geez... you ever heard of the expression "the whole truth and nothing but the truth"? That should be true of all communication in every marriage. How can someone say "I'm comming clean, but should I hide some of the dirt?" this is sad... especially comming from someone in the military. This country is doomed if this is what comes from those whom we consider most noble and honorable of all.

Wiser1	Are you home? If not, I would wait until you get here to tell him. In person is always better. I think he needs to know in case you contracted an STD. Maybe you should get checked out to be sure you haven't anyway. Then, you need to talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist as to HOW to tell him and what to say. Maybe he has cheated on you, too. Being deployed for so long is hard. I'm sure you tried to stay faithful and so did he, but maybe you both failed. You need to forgive yourselves before you can forgive each other. Try to stay faithful from here on out. It's important. Trust is the number one thing in a marriage. Without it, the marriage could fall apart.

phorwanted	Are you nuts? Don't tell him about either. Live with the guilt and save the infliction of pain you want to give to him.

xyz	don't tell him for Q1. don't tell him for Q 2.

avechm	If you have decided to tell him, that part doesn't really matter. What matters is, that you have to be prepared to handle the consequences, meaning, you might not have a husband to come home to!

Grapes	Just telling him is enough. He doesn't need to know the details. That can be unproductive.

sherry	iF U REALLY LOVE UR HUSBAND AND WANNA STAY WID HIM THEN DO NOT SAY HIM ANYTHING ABOUT UR AFFIARS. bUT PROMISE TO URSELF TAT U WONT DO IT AGAIN.

resolutionary	Assuming this is a serious question........... I would encourage you to find a counsellor first and talk it over to get a better idea about why you had the urge to cheat and how you might prevent it later - considering your husband is a forgiving man. Otherwise, you're in a big freaking mess.

Dbrown	You should be honest with him, because the truth always comes out.

Truth Hurts	If you're going to tell the truth tell the whole truth! If he doesn't know, why are you telling him now? Do you want to hurt him? Why not just straighten up and fly right from here?

Kevin J	I applaud you for deciding to be honest, but if you are going to do it, you may as well do it right and be completely honest. I really dont think it will make much difference to him if it was with one guy or two, you cheated either way.

julesl68	The situation will not be pretty regardless, so if you're going to tell him, you might as well give him the complete truth and get it done.

Kitty	If you're gonna tell him - tell it all; or just keep it a secret, and don't tell at all. It's not gonna make a difference how many affairs you've had.

rcsinga	tell the truth!

tonguemyass4me	depends which std he get's first

Gene Eric Man	First you have to ask yourself what you hope to gain from telling him. If you want the marriage to end, then by all means, tell him. If you want the marriage to go on, but feel the need to be honest, to unburden yourself, too bad--don't tell him. If you admit what you did, one way or another, your marriage is over. If you want to stay married, you should keep your infidelity secret and suffer in silence. You made your bed--now you have to sleep in it. You're the one who was unfaithful and dishonest, why should he suffer for it?

Rin	truth is alwayse best it really depends on how you think your husband will handle it he can really screw you over when it comes to legal matters. i think you are an awfull person for doing that and you give military women a bad name everywhere for that obvisously you dont love him enought to be faithful to him. and dont use i was in iraq for a year thats pathetic to do. i completely stand behind the soliders but i cant stand a poor excuse of a solider using i was in iraq so i cheated on her/him so sad!!

mark	He is not likely to believe you only did it once , or twice for that matter. And you did it with married men so you screwed up their lives as well. If you dont have kids then file for divorce now and dont waste your husbands time .

presleygirl	typical military ho-mabey just tell him the turth?

working gal	Why do you want to tell him? I hate to say this but if it happened in another country then he will probably never find out. What you dont know cant hurt you.

evilstepmonster	you have to tell him the whole truth and nothing but the truth and prepare yourself for whatever comes your way its a tough situation

btpage0630	If you are going to be honest, be honest, don't go halfway. If you are planning on telling a lie, why tell him at all? Or just tell him that you cheated period and let him ask the questions.

keithleyjustin	Maybe none,unless you want a divorce. Feel sorry for your hubby,that he's married an unfaithful women. I know how hard it is to beaway from your loved one but should have been stronger than that.

DCMitch	its not going to be fun, but u should be completely honest with him. he deserves to know.