I have had an affair. My husband insists that I tell the kids what I've done.?

atxswildrose	Maybe you should have thought about your kids before you screwed around.

yakusa3000	NAH, THEY ARE TOO YOUNG, WONT HAVE A CLUE, HE IS JUST MAD AND WANT TO PUT SOME TYPE OF PAIN ON YOU. SEE WERE THAT EXTRA DIZNICK GOT YOU?

Kay	I think you should tell your 15 year old because he/she is going to find out and be mad at you for not telling them. The 9 year old is too young to understand.

Who Knew?	Don't ever involve your kids in such an adult matter

Waidi	Dont tell kids about private matter s such as this , and if your husband does, he must enjoy looking like a winner BUT doesnt care how it will hurt the kids!!!!!

Freakgirl	No. Your husband is nuts & just wants to punish you. However, he may tell them if you don't, and paint youin a really ugly light.

nwnativeprincess	Children should not be burdened with grown up problems. They should be informed of what is going on, as for the reason that is not appropriate.

Love It To Death	That is crazy that he wants you to tell the kids. But I bet if you don't, he will. So, who do you want them to hear it from?

Amber M	No you should not involve the kids in it. But you should not be messing around while you are still married either. If you don't tell them your husband probably will just to hurt you.

BusinessLady	Do not involve your kids. What kind of man is he to want you to hurt them? Wait until they are older, your husband just wants to feel like he has the power, in this case he does not!!!

byepats	the kids are already involved and probably already worried. i wouldnt tell them what happened. get a divorce, the worst thing to do is stay in a bad relationship for the kids, they arent dumb

ladyren	The workings (or dissolution) of your marriage are between him and you. Do not burden your kids with your problems. They already have concluded that any problems are their fault. To tell them is mental cruelty. Please do not.

Joy	I really don't think that it is necessary to tell the kids, that will just give them more problems to deal with. It is adult business, you don't share everything with your kids for a reason.

Jim E	Ofcourse not and you know its not. You need to tell him that whatever you two decide to do it should be kept between you two. Your kids really do not need to be brought into this. Good luck..... Maybe you should both go to marriage councelling.

â™«â™ª	I don't think you should tell them. If my parents divorced because of that,I wouldn't really want them to tell me.I'd probably find out anyways somehow,but I wouldn't want to be told. I mean,if you're divorcing the reason is sort've obvious isn't it?

FamilyMan07	Your kids deserve to know why you are splitting up. Dont bring that "he doesnt satisfy my needs" shi.t into it either. The 15 year old isn't stupid. I love how you justify your damnation to hell as if its ok, have fun down there.

Dave87gn	Sound like you're trying to blame the affair on your husband and he isnt buying it, he wants you to tell the children the truth, so you dont try to manipulate them as well. You're a cheater,,, divorce the man you betrayed and move on with your life

Shimmy D	No, it is not right to involve the kids with all the details. Your husband is just trying to turn the kids against you. Although what occurred is unfortunate for the family, your husband needs to be more mature about the whole thing. Good Luck!

pbowrench	Ultimately the decision SHOULD BE yours & YOUR'S ALONE. Appearently your huband wants you to hurt the children as much as you've hurt him. This is pettiness !!! Either he forgives you or he doesn't. Judge not lest ye be judged sounds too passe but it still stands today. HAGO & BEST WISHES

Tired and Cranky	I would say the children (Are so young) do not need to be involved... I could see if they were older but they are so young and it will cause more worried for them then they need HOWEVER if you don't tell the kids the truth who knows what your husband will start telling them? Be careful

ndnqt1966	There is no reason to go into detail about your affair with your children...Your husband must be an idiot....Leave things very simple.....kids don't need all the details...My ex and I got involved with swinging...which ultimately led to our divorce...our children are all teenagers...but there is no way in hell that I would tell them that their parents stupidly got involved in the swinging lifestyle....

ray k	I do not think by no means should your kid's should know,but you can be sure if you don't tell them your husband will.I think if he wants them to know than he should be the one to tell them then you can tell them your side of the story.Ether way it will be hard on them.Good luck

I am awesome	Well my parents are divorced right now and my mom had an affair. I was only 12 at the time but when I saw them unhappy and they wouldn't tell me the reason it just got me more upset. So I think you should tell them some information just not every little detail so they know why you guys are aren't getting along.

singularfruit	I think you are both being incredibly selfish. It doesn't matter what you decide to do, because you've already crossed the line, it's going to affect them whether you want to or not, whether it is now or 10 years from now... get it in your head that you are not yourself anymore, every decision you make involves your children. You should've thought of this before messing around.

xoccerlvr	Yes. You did the crime, and you should now own up to it, just like you probably preach to your kids to do. I do like how you try to justify your cheating actions by blaming him, even though you know it was wrong. You should be ashamed. The right thing to do would have been to get a divorce then worry about satisfying your loins. Do not tell the kids that "dad hates mom"; it actually sounds like it cuts both ways.

Miss N	I think he just wants you to tell the kids so then the kids realize you was in the wrong and its not their dads fault, he wants you to be blamed and feel full of regret of what you have put your kids though. i think you should both tell the kids together! at the end of the day they are not only your kids there his too! so why not work at your children together, x

DongBrat	Kids have no reason to know the inner workings and hidden mechanisms of marriage or divorce. You should know better. And you used your husband, by the way. Now that he's on to you, get out quickly.

nene	You don't need to disclose anything about the affair to the kids, at this point both are too young to understand why you did what you did. I believe that your husband is hurt and mad so he wants the kids to feel the same way towards you also. If you are divorcing him, there is no need for you to give him any details of your affair, if you stay together you must tell him everything.

kingsprincess2000	There's a certain amount of truth that needs to be told to children, but when it comes to this, you don't need to go to any detail whatsoever, they will grow up thinking that this is what a relationship is. Tell them, that mom and dad just didn't get along. Explain to them that it has nothing to do with them, and that they are still the priority to both of you. Your husband is hurt and wants the world to know just how much..the kids shouldn't be included. Since you made the decision of doing what you did, assure them that it is nobody's fault. People change. If you have problems, have them talk to a counselor. Hopefully dad will not turn this into a war, for their sake.