I have lived with my boyfriend 5 years and he hasn't asked me to marry him.?

david o	Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk free? Do you thunk he thinks that?

maggie	i could be afraid of losing you the same way he already lost a wife. if you have lived with him for five years and are happy, what is a piece of paper going to add to the relationship? i think you need to chill out and when he is ready he will ask you. patience is a virtue

September Sweetie	It sounds like he is already in a commited relationship but is in denile! He needs to realize that his wife would want him to move on! I would tell him that you are ready to start the next phrase in your relationship which is marriage. If he is not willingly to commit than maybe, you should move on! Because, this would indicate that you both want different things in life! You deserve what you want which is marriage and do not live your life on hold for a man who is afraid of marriage!! That is not fair to you!!!

gjm	1) Wife died 7 years ago and you have been together for 5 years.. so he has only had 2 years to heal?? 2) If he has any brains at all, he understands that marriage is a very serious life long commitment and not to be taken lightly. 3) He says he needs more time to get to know you?? - I would think 5 years is enough time... But I would believe him.. 4) It isn't your decision to make on when he should commit.. He must make that decision for himself.. You can however, decide that you do not want to wait any longer... - An option... Commit to a Commit date... e.g. Say 1 to 1.5 years from now, you will either make the commitment or I will leave.. - Now you have something to sink your teeth (and future) into. - good luck. p.s. I too am widowed, it took me 9 years to get well after 28 yrs of marriage.

stealth5033	Either leave hints aroung the house with like wedding ring pictures, wedding pictures, things that would remind him of marrige and see what happens or just straight up ask him about marrige. Or accidently get pregnant, making him have to make up his mind. Thats what my aunt did to my uncle before they got married.

melissa_anne_maison	He had known you for five years and lives with you, how much more does he need to know about you? There is something there that is causing him not to commit, He may love you but not in love with you? He may still hold a torch for his wife that died and cannot commit to you until he comes to peace with her death, there are lots of reasons. You need to ask him point blank and tell him that you know there is something there that is causing him not to commit and you need to know. If he really cares about you, which I am sure he does then he will tell you. And if he doesn't want to get married then you need to find out if you are willing to just continue living with him or if you want to get married someday. You need to do what makes you happy, too. But you will never know unless you approach the subject in a broader way, so you can come to the heart of the matter. Good Luck!

smile_girl	I don't think that you should be pushing the issue. Maybe you should be talking to your man and discussing with him how you feel and what you would like. How long was he married to his wife before she died? Maybe he is one of those gently souls that does not see the need to get married again. He has his love of his lifetime and she is gone. This is not to say that he does not love you ofcourse, just that it may be different for him this time round and he just does not view things the way you do.

daveowenville	Only he can tell you why. Here are a few possibilities: 1) the death of his wife left him feeling that marriage is too painful to undertake again, because it is disrespectful of his deceased wife, or for some other reason; 2) the experience of being married left him feeling that marriage is not something that he wants to do again, for some reason; 3) he likes you and trusts you enough to be living together, but not enough to marry you; 4) you think it's about time for him to commit, but you never said so to him directly. You cannot possibly know which of these is the cause (or if it's something else entirely) without asking him. Don't threaten him, don't confront him -- just one night, sit down with him and let him know how much you love him and how to feel about him. Then ask him how he feels about you, and about possibly marrying you one day.

atlas shrugged and so do i	he is a bruised apple, a dented can, a crushed box. in other words,damaged goods. if he has not, he ain't gonna. leave now, before you are way too insecure to go out on your own.

sexywoman4747	I think give him a little more time,he may be a little afraid to commit himself to another marriage for fear he might loose you too.Hang in there hun okay,if it is ment to be it will happen

D N	If after 5 years he doesn't know you well enough, he never will. If he won't commit to marriage, then you have a choice: stay or walk away into a new life. My heart goes out to you.

archaeologia	Seems to me he`s probably using you to fill in for his wife`s old position, when he can get everything done for him,without taking on a new commitment. you made life to easy for him.

Esmerelda	He might be telling you the truth- that he wants to get to know you better but chances are, he's just using you...

Meklar	The way I see it, getting married shouldn't really be so necessary. I mean, if you like each other and enjoy living together, what does it really add to have some kind of legal document filed somewhere that says 'Married' on it? I say, enjoy what you've got, and if marriage won't really make you any happier then don't bother with it.

crzyfiregirls	He might be afraid of losing someone else that he loves dearly. Talk to him about it and see how he feels. Dont push him to hard though, that is the way you will lose him. He might not be over what happened, 7 years or not. Just give him time, talk to him.

laci	he is afraid..if he opens his heart all the way he thinks it might be broken again..

barbramaq	Unfortunately he's not going to commit. He needs to get to know you better?! After living together for 5 years, if he doesn't know you by now, you better leave. He is making excuses to not have to commit to you or a marriage. Move on ..this guy has got some serious issues.

B.L.M.	just wait a little longer then if he don't ask you ask him

lacheechee2	his heart is still healing leting someone go like dat think about it dont u have enough patient to wait on him give him and time and after a while talk to him about it

Angelicious05	Hes probably scared...He doesnt want to think about marriage right now...I knwo 2 people who didnt remarry for a long time...One of them waited 8 years and the other it was 20 years..Its just something he doesnt want to do right now...but it doesnt mean he doesnt love you

As Real As It Gets	why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free? Try crossing your legs for a few months.

Issym	After living with someone for 5 years, if he doesn't know you by now he never will.. I think the real issue is he is afraid because of his wife's passing. It may be deeply seeded that marriage is a slap in her face, or he may be afraid of losing you that way. Many factors could be holding him back from making that final commitment. I would suggest a real good talk with him. He sounds like a wonderful man and I wish you two all the luck.. Ignore the ignorant comments from other posters. I lost a husband I know all about the time wait and being afraid.. So the rude people above are just clueless..

rhonda_seiler	He's afraid for some reason. Try a counselor alone at 1st. Good luck and do not push him, k?

spydrplus	Don't fret, at least it means you're good in bed if he's kept you around this long. :) Some guys are afraid of commitment.

tiny_tim	Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

SexyTrojan	Susan, Why should he marry you? He has all the benefits, but you have none.

Lab Accident	Have you brought the idea up to him. I don't see a problem with dropping the hint. Are you dating anyone else ?

Monte T	Fear............that is his issue. He is afraid to lose someone else.

DogLover	There was an EXCELLENT Dr. Phil episode on today about this very topic. His general advice was to move on. Five years is plenty of time for him to have gotten to know you.

mydds07	He may be still having issues with losing his wife and making that committment to you may be hard. I think you need to talk to him and share your concerns. Hopefully he will let you know what he is thinking.

Angel	If he treats you good, is faithful and shows you he loves you why do you need to be married? In my opinion being married isn't that big of a deal if the man is doing everything he should be doing and would be doing if you were married. If you stress it to much you could put serious strain on your relationship and loose him. Don't worry to much about it and let things just happen. When he is ready he will ask you to marry him. No sooner no later just give him a chance. Good Luck!