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I just asked my Husband for a divorce, so why do I feel so bad?
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I just asked my Husband for a divorce, so why do I feel so bad?

we are getting divorce not because anyone did anything wrong but just because feelings have changed so is it normal for me to feel Like I shouldnt get a divorce or will this pass because its just a process of Emotions..

don't feel bad if you dont love him then get ur divorce and move on with ur life....if you need someone to talk to just email me!

Shirley P
i think that you feel bad for your husband. Or that you really dont want to get divorce you are just passing through a phase

Nick Z
If you are not sure. Then I suggest that you get some marriage counselling. Perhaps your divorce is a mistake.

Ramona-please step back!
it's like a death..there is an entire grieving process
It's NOT an easy process esp if it's only ONE, whose feelings have changed

maybe because you broke a promise, a"solemn vow", and you have pangs of guilt. (you should)...you'll get over it rather quickly,i assume...not so sure about the 'hubby'

J Serve V
Your not in high school anymore. Marriage isn't a joke. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FIND A WAY FOR IT TO WORK, not just bolt because you feel like it. Anyway that's just my opinion.

Good Luck

hungarian girl
If you have any regrets at ALL, you don't need a divorce. This may sound phony, but just try and work it out, OK? Try a counseler. It helps, I swear. Hope this helps.

If your not happy, it is best to move on. But still try to be friends with your ex. Don't let it get ugly, life is too short for that.

Maybe it is not the right choice. When it is the right choice for you then you know it with confidence and you don't feel guilt or shame.

Stephen D
because you just took your garbage out,, and deep down in your libido where you live ,,,you are not sure if you got rid of something you really wanted to keep. but not something that has anything to do with him.

It is still a loss, no matter if you wanted it or not. If you still feel really terrible in a couple of weeks, you might consider counseling. When a change is new, it rarely feels good, even if it is needed.

because you still love him!!! and you can't just turn off the button to love him because you said you want a divorce are you sure that's what you really wanted?

Michelle O
Marriage isnt a fairly tail or made for tv movie....you have to be willing to work through hard times...feelings are fleeting/ Try to remember why you fell in love with this man. Love isnn't a place we just fall....To Love is an action word.....have you put action into your marriage?

**** it
maybe a seperation is in order not a divorce. feelings may have changed but they dont seemed to have with you. put off the divorce and see how it feels to be without him, but not forever and go see a counselor.

So, can you honestly get a divorce if you don't feel the same? Yeah, you should feel like you shouldn't get a divorce and work at your marriage. Marriage, like anything worth having, is not easy. You have to work to make each other happy.

Nope, divorce is hard. When you get up and make that promise in front of so many, it must be humbling to realize that you didn't mean it. Feelings change, that was inevitable. I wish you had known that ws going to happen before you made that promise. Next time, you'll know.

It's a process of emotions. If the feelings aren't there anymore is very hard to get them back. If you still feel like things can be fixed then give it a chance. Otherwise try to relax and not think about too much it will pass within a few months.

You fell bad because a chapter of your life is coming to an end. You may feel like you have failed at something.

I have never been divorced but I am sure these are normal feelings and that in time they will go away.

Best of luck to you and your soon to be ex.

Eileen J
Well seems you just are bored...You obviously had things in common one time or you wouldn't have gotten married...Did you try to learn how to reconnect somehow over time..I hope you seeked professional help first..If not,,you should for sure... They know how to help you when you don't know what to do...They are trained and experienced at this stuff and have helped more than you or I will ever know...Things aren't always brighter on the other side...You maybe just need to spark things up again like we all need to do over time...I am married 32 yrs and I sometimes think things aren't so great but I still love him and we just have to make time and learn how to communcate and make each other happy ...It works better than you think...Get help and GOOD LUCK whatever you decide....Things aren;'t always the way we want , so we have to work at them to make them better...but quitting isn't always the answer....Most people won't be happy unless you work at them,,,Nothing is Easy and staying together takes lots of work....again GOOD LUCK!

Delaram G
Changing of feelings is not really a very good reason to get divorce. I wouldnt just go by my feelings when everything is good and nothing bad happend! Its your decision but if I were you I would try to make some changes in my life and make it more exciting instead of just getting divorce!

Seek some counseling. Perhaps you two need to talk it out to see what is the root cause of the problem. Just be open and honest with each other. Sure some feelings may get hurt, but at least you will know what happened. It may not be enough to divorce over irreconcilable differences. You may be able to work through it. Sounds like you still love him.

Well you don't want to be with someone who can't make you happy right? If there is no real love between you then why stay together? Of course you're going to feel bad for getting a divorce. Something you thought was gonna last longer didn't work out the way you hoped it would.
Don't worry when everything is over you'll be fine and move on with your own life. Just give yourself time to heal.

Maybe its because he agreed. You didn't bank on that happening .. You thought he would at least put up a fight for you but when he didn't you wondered why and are now confused.

You will feel bad because the reason you are divorcing him are not valid. I will guarantee you that no matter who you re marry the same thing will happen.

People change. I have been married over 40 years now. There have been many changes in both of us. Change is good.

Such a shame to let him go if he is a great guy. They are so hard to find. If he doesn't cheat, drink to much, is not abusive in any way and is still in love with you as he was the day he married you then I wouldn't let him go.

Good men are so hard to find. But if you must some lucky lady out there that meets him will be so glad you did.

Good luck.

I've gone through this. If it wasn't because my husband insisted on work things out, I probably would have taken the easy divorce road.

I am very happy he convinced me that divorce was not the solution. I was young and dumb with much to learn. Now that I am older, I know I would have regretted divorcing my husband.

Maybe both of you can start all over again and fall in love like you both did the first time. Try to work it out first, unless he doesn't want to, then it's best to part ways.

Try and work it our dear, people change, that is part of life, and when you get married it is for better or for worse. Sit with him and talk your differences out, it is okay to cry, and yell and get mad, that is part of being human and all part of a marriage. Trust me, my husband and I could of had a divorce by now if we didn't talk about things and work it out. Work it out, talk to him. It is just so easy to give up now a days.

Have you tried therapy? How well do you communicate with him? Of course it's completely normal for you to feel guilty and unsure of yourself. Feelings change, people grow, that's what life is, but you need to think: do you want to change and grow together? Do you want to try to make it work or are you really ready to throw in the towel? How is your husband taking this? Do you have children or pets involved? This is a huge decision and you shouldn't be making it alone. Talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings. Good luck...this too shall pass...

If you didn't love him you wouldn't feel so bad about it. Do you think he feels bad too or does he seem anxious to get it over with? We all go thru changes and sometimes it will affect our feelings toward each other. Maybe you should give it some time before you end it. Talk to him and try to figure out what's missing and work together on it. If you still feel the same after a while try separating for a bit before you make that final decision. Who knows, you might discover that you really miss him and want to stay together after all. Marriage takes constant work on both parts. It's like a car, if you don't keep up with the maintenance it will eventually break down.

of coarse your going to feel bad, you have lived with someone and shared your life with that person. You have no anger which is an easier emotion to deal with than emptiness.
Its a natural sadness that comes when something ends.
You may also be scared and covering it up with sadness, its ok to be scared your in a position that no one wants to be in but many find themselves in it regardless. Maybe try to reach out to people in similar situations on a message board, they may be able to help you.

but divorce is so final. I don't know you or your relationship but if love was once there and no one did anything wrong isn't it possible to fall back into love, and rekindle what made you once so happy?
Relationships go through natural cycles of feeling more or less for the person. Im not married yet but I do live with my boyfriend/finace and there are times when I know that he isn't going to be my favorite person in the world, and there may be days that I don't even like him let alone love him but I also know there will be days where I can't live without him.
just some thoughts
good luck

You feel bad because you two have a history. If it's just a case of feelings have changed then you probably just feel a little bit of guilt since it seems there is no real reason for it. I was hung up on staying together with my husband forever no matter what. But we grew apart as well and it is the right choice to be happy and start a new life with someone you can live the rest of your life with, than be unhappy and unsure with someone you can't. It wouldn't be fair to him either. You will both move on if this is what you truly want. If you are still unsure, try counseling first. There may be other reasons that haven't surfaced yet.

Don't make any rash decisions until you are positive and make sure you are open about it with him, as well.

Good luck.

Well it depends i guess, if you are just bored with the relationship then i'd say you feel bad because you love him and are divorcing for selfish reasons.
If you are for certian that you are 100% not in love with him anymore then you could be upset because you know you've really hurt his feelings then i'd say its will be a process you'll need to work trhough.
It really all depends on the reason why you did it. If it is for reasons that you and your husband could of ultimately worked out, then i say you are feeling bad because you know deep down that this divorce is a very selfish act on your part.
But if you certian that this is what is going to be best for you and best for your husband then it's all just a process you are going to have to work through. Marriage is a very powerful thing and the emotions in it are very strong and confusing.

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