I really need to know why you do this?

a s h b e e	lol. just tell her to get over it. i hate some people. sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

Kari	Probally because your the reason their marriage broke up. I wouldn't want to be friends with you either and trust me, she never will be your friend.

Escapist7	She prob. doesn't like you being with him. Just explain the situation so that things can smooth out and everyone can be happy in the end.

John	Honestly, I don't know you, but i find you to be highly annoying. I'm thinking that for the people that DO know you, they probably feel the same but with great insight.

saved_by_grace	The ex will probably not ever want to friends with you. You can however change the relationship by being nice everytime you see her. Sooner or later she will catch on.

alicialions	I wouldn't be friends with the new woman in my husbands life either if it came to that. It is normal for her to want nothing to do with the other woman...life isn't like the Reba show where the ex and the new wife end up being best friends.

Eliza ãƒ„ waffle	Honey sometimes people dont want to be friends with others, there's not a lot you can do about it, but be proud of yourself for the maturity you've shown in trying. Sorry about the misscarriage by the way

Angie	I just replied to the question you posted before this....You and his ex will never be friends and i honestly think your a loser if you marry thisguy...dont come cryinfg here later after ur married and you are hurt bc he cheated or isnt treadting u right...we are tryin to warn you and if you cant see that then you deserve to be treated this way..GET OUT NOW and start a REAL life w/ a REAL man....

plmonlinenow@rocketmail.com	She's the ex... you're the new chick she's not going to be exactly having you over for tea and crumpets... savvy? fact is she is probably still hung up on him and sees you as a threat. the only way to associate with her on a polite level is to be short sweet and respectful... kill her with kindness so to speak. in due time this will work wonders. (every person takes their own amount of time)

Tryna-Hyde	you ain't nervous, you just can't spell. to answer your question: we do this because it gets really annoying for someone to keep bumping their heads against the same frikkin wall in the same frikkin spot - but can't figure out why their head hurts. you're doin it to yourself - we're not doing anything to you. good luck. add on i know you are PISSED that you can't give me more than one thumbs down, aren'tcha? :-)

Savagedancer	Maybe she is jealous of you, maybe she is angry @ you, could be anything, but trying to force a friendship might not be a good strategy. Your man and her need to work out their visitation issues, I don't know that u should be involved. Touchy sitch...she may never want to be your friend or it could take time...put yourself in her position and how would u feel??? Remember, they were a couple before you came along ( I am assuming) they have to work out their issues.

Sin	Maybe she does'nt really want the divorce, or perhaps she misses what you now have, or simply that she is unhappy and so wishes others to be unhappy as well. There are many reasons that could apply. This q is perhaps best asked of her, directly and politely. :-) good luck

Sweetie	Whatever here is your help 1.) never involve yourself with someone who is married things get and stay ugly 2.) You don't have to be friends with the what u call ex i'll say his wife cause thats what she is 3.) If he wanted to be divorced and see his kids thats what the courts are for she can't keep him from seeing his kid unless he is unfit. 4.) She doesnt like you because you slept with and stole her husband and the father of her kid (would you like you?) 5.) If you don't get this the first time you read it keep reading it over and over until you do SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE A FRIEND WOULDN'T STEAL SOMEONES HUSBAND. DUH COMMON SENSE COME ON DUMP THE LOSER FOR REAL!!!!!!

jagna	well cause ususaly, in most cases i must say people dont want to be friends, or cant be friends with their ex's new girlfriend. because its weird. i mean do u want to be best friends? that wont likely happen. she should be civil enough to at least grant the divorce, sign the papers and go on with life. if she doesnt want to the i would say she is not over him yet.

NiceCarDeal.com	You got some answers when you posted before, but you just didn't like them. You are in a toxic relationship with a married man. You are shocked that he doesn't care about your feelings, yet he already proved that he doesn't care about the feelings of others when he slept with you despite the fact that he is married and has a child. If he doesn't care about them, what on earth makes you think he cares about you? Wait...I know...because he TELLS you that he cares. Right? Get out, and get out fast. Stop the "You people just don't understand" excuses and admit that you could do a lot better for yourself. BTW, we understand. You aren't the first gullible girl.

Green	One reason, she resents him and is making him suffer, plain and simple. She's pissed that he has you, but she is holding all the cards and is in control of the game and she knows it. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. I really don't think there is anything that can be done to change her mind. I assume that they are getting a divorce because he found you? If there was an affair then she won't forgive him until she finds a man and wants to get married. So in conclusion... Start looking for a man for her. Good luck!

bff is retired	if my recent ex had a girlfriend i wouldn't be friends with her. at all. ever. if she refuses to divorce him then he can take her to court. if he refuses to do that he probably doens't WANT to divorce her. YOU don't have to reunite him and his kid. If he isn't a dead beat loser he would be seeing his kid already. she can't "keep" the kid from him. if he wants to see his kid he'll make an effort.

Chris A	Did he leave her for you because if so the bad feelings are there for that reason. Try maybe writing a letter explaining your situation, advise her that your fiance is going through a hard time and that as an adult she should be able to put aside her personal feelings for her son. If that doesn't work the only other option I see is to go through court. Good Luck

â™¥ ÅÎ±rá»‰ â™¥	you have to remember, there are kids on here and whoever gets your question can be the luck of the draw. i can tell you...addressing people in the manner: " Why is that no body wants to help me? What did I ever do to you people for you to insult me and not help me. " NO one is going to want to help you. Just post again and hope that someone gets it who is mature enough. So, I don't want to help you. After the above line...I don;t even want to read the rest of your writing. If you need so much help...why here???? Go to a therapist.

hepmom -could use a clone!	I'm sorry but she's the ex and you're the new girl... it is highly unlikely that the two of you will ever be friends. You should accept this. All you can do it be cordial. I would try to explain that for the sake of you fiance and their child you understand that you two will never be friends but you'd like to at least be civil to one another. Even that may not work... depends on her, you, the nature of the relationship and break-up between her and your fiance. Good luck!

Tim C	I gotta say that nobody here can tell you why your fiancÃ©'s Ex won't be friends with you, because nobody here can read her mind. While I have no idea what the situation is, it may be that she is jealous of you? It may be that she is threatened by you? Who dumped who? We just don't have enough information, and even if we did, we can't read her mind. I wouldn't base your life on if your fiancÃ©'s ex liking you. You need to get out of it, and tell your fiancÃ©e to man up and take care of the situation.

Concerned	I am sorry but usually the ex dose not care about her ex's new girl. I understand what you are asking and I admire you for that, but she would rather not be friends in most cases just to spite him. It dose seem you are since in the matter. If you contact her keep yourself friendly and try to do things to help her out with out seeming to conspicuous. If all else fails pray or as some one who goes to church pray for you and the situation.

Crystal B	wwell I can Relate, I have a boyfriend and we have a 1 yr old son together, and well he has 2 other kids who he doesnt get to see because of well his ex is a *****, and I try to get a long but she jsut ahtes me for no apparent reason... not that i particualarly like her but u know... I try to make it work... Its the way of life I guess as far as the ex and current gf not getting long thing goes... work through just play nice, adn even if she doesnt do it back atleast you will be the "decent" one. As for your miscarriage I'm really really sorry, I couldn't imagine that... work through, and possibly get grief counceling. I would go that way fi needed... good luck!

girlieluvsnick	She may be jealous. Otherwise, maybe they didn't have a very good relationship, so now she wants to have nothing to do with him (including you, because you are now with him). In a perfect world, everyone would get along, but this world is far from perfect. You can't force her to sign the papers, either.

mommy	Please don't take this the wrong way, but you can't know what she is going through until your fiance does similar things to you. Why are they getting a divorce? You can't expect her to be your friend odds are you are the enemy... The best you can hope for is being civil to each other. Let him get through his divorce without interference from you. plz don't get pregnant again until you are Married. I am very sorry you have suffered the pain of a miscarriage.

justagorilla	I am sorry about you miscarriage. But it may be a blessing in disguise. You should not want to be pregnant as you begin a new life with any man .. right now, this man's life sounds messed up and it will mess up your life too. Please do not go and get pregnant again. He has enough problems with his last family and SHE may hold it against you for some of the problems...if he is unhappy, do you know all the reasons? again, DO NOT BECOME PREGANT AGAIN! it is contributing to the problems he already has. If he loves you, he will stay. do not force him with a child. Allow matters to settle down, so that he and his ex can start to communicate. Stay clear of their problems and only be there for him. But keep your eyes open to what is going on. you cannot make her like you, you can only back off and let them work out their problems.

Mike	WOW, you really got some nasty responses! Isn't it nice to be judged by all these "perfect" people? You didn't say if your fiance was just sad about the miscarriage or angry at you. there's a big difference. As far as his ex being your friend, try looking at it from her point of view. Would you be friends with his new fiance? Human nature being what it is, I'd say that's probably not going to happen. He needs an attorney to get the visitation and the divorce. I doubt she will do either one voluntarily. As for your spelling, this has a spell checker you can use before you submit a post, try using that and you might get a little less crap from these folks. Good luck!

Kerrinkalilly	It seems that you are feeling too responsible for problems which belong to someone else. Your boyfriend should be dealing with these issues as they are his problem, not yours. As for his ex, it is not your role to befriend her just so he can get to see the boy. She might even suspect that is the reason you want to be pals with her, so it will strengthen the case for him to see the boy. You would be well advised to back off from these issues and take care of your own emotional well being. Put yourself first for a change and stop carrying the burden of his problems. To assist in getting over your miscarriage, get some interests, join a group, a sporting activity, a fun activity, meet new people and get busy. Forget about making friends with the ex. You have a right to choose your own friends. You should not feel you have to be friends with anyone just to please someone else. Are you sure you are not getting yourself into a situation where your boyfriend is trying to control you? You must spend a lot of time worrying about his problems. Its time you did some things for yourself so at least you can retain some sanity in this obviously chaotic situation.

Heather P	unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do about this. Its really between him and her. And there's not much you or him can do to change her heart and her actions. The best way for them to be friends is for him to give it time. He can divorce her even if she refuses to sign the papers. Also, if he wants to see his child he can talk to the courts about it. This is something he should think about, as it may make the relatioship more strained. Also, have you thought about counseling for your miscarriage? It can be a traumatic event, and talking about it may help you. Good luck!