I think I ruined my marriage last night. (Read On)?

kitkat	You need some serious couseling. From what you said I find you very immature, you need help in acting like a adult. Good luck.

Kat	you are young, go get some friends of your own,if you don't have kids go out and have fun. he doesn't have to be up your butt all the time. let him know it's ok to go out with his friends. the more you push him to be with you the more he is going to pull away as well. o and if you where old enough to get married you are old enough to grow up, and act like an adult.

waiting for baby	you need to get therapy find him & apologized tell him that you need help & because of your pass you feel insecure since you want and love him so much you will get help to learn to deal with your emotion appropriatly Good Luck learn to check yourself before talking to him expecially when you are unhappy about something again Good Luck

J	If I were in your shoes, I would just act like it didn't bother me. I wouldn't call him and beg him back or anything. Don't let him have the upper hand. He's being a big baby, at 34 years old, he ought to be able to discuss things like an adult instead of running out the door every time there's a petty disagreement. Just have no contact with him if he decides not to come home. Don't call him, don't email him, nothing. I guarantee this reaction will suprise him and he will come crawling back home. When he does come crawling back to you, don't bring anything up and act like nothing's wrong.

Nicole M	I don't know if you won't attention then why do you push him away when he gives it. Don't say you don't know because you know why. All that crying you are doing isn't gonna help men don't want a whining baby. You should grow up or you are gonna lose him and end up alone!

geodesy	well lets see...you were 18...he was 32 when u met...um i think u guys are on a totally different mind set...i mean what can u have mentally in common.....u need to stop naggin ur gonna lose him.....its time to grow up and be mature.....he is 34....u made your bed now lie in it....good luck

GrnApl	Husbands who don't come home don't have any excuse for staying out. First you say you are controlling then you say you push him away? First you say that you didn't think about getting married but then you couldn't help yourself and you did. You are very confused and that is due to the way you grew up. When you grow up in a dysfunctional situation you become accostumed to always having turmoil in your life. That is what feels normal to you. You will strive to have it in your life because that is what you are used to. However, it is not the way to have a successful relationship. You must learn to pick and choose your battles. You have learn to trust your husband (although his not coming home isn't a good way for him to build that with you) and you have to learn to compromise. You are young and marrying someone who I suspect is more of a father figure than a husband. Get yourself educated and start a career in anything. Become independent within your relationship and you will then become a partner. If at that time you still are unhappy you will be in a position to take care of yourself and can get a divorce. What ever you do "DON"T HAVE CHILDREN" until you are self-sufficient.

NICOLE J	I believe the problem is you are only 20 years old. You aren't even legal. When I was your age my worries were what party to go to on campus or what classes to skip. There are so many things you need to experience and discover about yourself and your life. The person you are at 20 is not the person you will be at 34. You will grow and change and the big picture is you and your husband may have come to a point where you both realize that regardless of your attachment and love for each other you are in different stages in your lives. When you were 18 and he was 32 and you were just married!A 32 year old man should be ashamed of his self. You are frustrated because you are trying to control a situation you can not control. My only advice to you is to have an open dialog with your husband to see if you can both get to the root of your problems. But as a mother I would tell you to leave that creep alone and enjoy your life as a young woman. I wish you only the best.

Storm	Look on. Dont handle what you cant. Be observant and make right solutions always.

springo88	well you can't blame what u did and didn't have in your life for starters.. i had it rough growing up too and i was forever doing what your doing... i ended up asking myself .. would i wanna be married to me??? and after i had a good think about it.. i discovered a lot. Text him , tell him , you love him & that u respect his need for some space.. and well if it's so special you will know what to say and you's will work things out.. Hope that helped. Good LUck

KayAlley	actually yes many times. he's always going to leave me or not come home. let him vent and take his time coming home. the time and space without you he'll either learn it was nice or how much he missed you. You need to quit pushing him away.. you can admit this to us but have you admitted it to him that you've done it. Watching your mom's way of handling her husbands is probably what you are subconciously doing. If you dn't want him to stop loving you don't push him away then he'll know you want him around and not to leave. Oh you want attention. Well you'd better give him some attention as well that is positive attention and you crying when he gives you attention and loces on you isn't very good. Why in the world would you cry when he gives you attention. A husband wants you to love him and he be able to love you... that is definetely pushing him away and making him feel like he is hurting you emotionally. an older man is a lot more mature than some man your age and doesn't really have time for emotional games... its time he wants to be a man that is what seperates him from the boys.

Stuart	You have to take this to a marriage counselor. Seriously. A short answer here is not going to fix your problem. I do want to compliment you on the way you observe your behavior and the problems that it causes. That is a big step. But do get counseling. It can make a big difference for you and your husband.

âˆšÃœÄ½Ð¢Å¨Ð¯Ð—	i know how you feel. had a similar situation with my wife a few years back. we worked it out. just call him and apologize and tell him you need to talk.

Paka	It sounds like you need to mature a few years before he come home. He most likely married you not out of pure love, but your marriage can survive, the age gap is quite large. You could be mimicing the things you saw in your own home it is one of the evil side effects of divorce with kids. Take a few days realize the mistakes that you make and if you need seek some anger management classes you can overcome this.

Music heart soul of the life	Call him leave a message and say im sorry tell him how you feel and explain it the way you just did to us and if your trying to puch him out of your life maybe it isnt meant to be. Just because 1 or 2 marraiges fail doesnt mean you will be like your mom. You can do anything you put your mind to now what do you think you should do? Call him or ditch him your call. :>Good luck you can make it work if u wanna.

U B Happy	Sounds like you're immature and self-centered; and with a 34 year old man, that probably is leading to a break-up. You didn't say what you did last night, but you'd better start thinking of his feelings, or he'll be gone.

M J	that's hard.... are you IN love with your husband? Do you only want him to come home because you feel you with be lonely or want to control him?...... If you don't have any children this may be a prime opportunity to move on.... LIFE DOES GO ON! What does your heart tell you to do?

cottoncandie1969	just tell him you love him more than anything and that if he comes back to you .. that you know realize whats your problem is and you will seek counseling for your problem and maybe marriage counseling also that you will do what it takes to save your marriage.. i hope this helps but dont say anything of these things to him unless you are gonna carry them out and do it..

David S	you got married when you were 18. you never had a dad, so the possibility exists that you had a "male influence/dad" void in your life. you say LOVE, but could it be SENSE OF SECURITY? why do you push him out? do not take offense, but I think maybe you may not be mature enough to be dealing in a marriage situation, and may have issues due to your family upbringing that need to be dealt with before you can expect to be a whole person, able to fully give yourself to another. best wishes.

Whoa_Phat	Call him and say you're sorry. Then go to counseling, if he'll go. Really try to change your behavior. Be nice at every chance. Life is such a short time with those you love.

bobsdidi	maybe count to 10 before you blow up . Relax and calm down if it is meant to be he will be back, Im sure he will! ask him how he thinks things can change. Have a magic silly word for when he thinks you are doing it again....something like ......your feet smell good or just something off the wall and then you will know when he has had anough and that might help you stop controlling everything well good luck to you and him PS I think he will come home tonight!

crazyotto65	You need marriage counselling, preferrably together as a couple. If he won't go, then go alone, if you want to save your marriage. Talk to a professional. Stop being childish - you are pushing him away. Explore your past to find out why you are doing this. Learn from your parents mistakes and resolve not to make them yourself, Good luck.

Right on	You had better wake up girl....you will be alone..and then what?...

nwnativeprincess	ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU ARE SO CONTROLLING???? IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM, DEAL WITH IT AND THEN MOVE ON.

tigweldkat	Go to counseling. You obviously love him, but you don't know how to make a marriage work, you need some help. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, and ask him to go to counseling with you, if he wont, go on your own.

â„¢Spacemanâ„¢	stop trying to control him would be a start

HoosierMommy06	Seek some counseling together and try to work out your problems. You don't have a good example in your life of what marriage should be, so it would help for you both to talk it through with a third party.

island3girl	see a counselor - better together, but if not alone , to help you figure out why you keep pushing him away.

bubbles26	Sorry not me, I will hopefully be getting married soon. Good Luck!

SAM M	Sorry for not being able to help you.