If you knew a person was cheating on their spouse, would you tell the spouse?

redpeach_mi	i recently went through something like this. these two acquaintances of mine were getting married in a few months. i knew that he was cheating on her and i wrestled with the thought of telling her or not. he works with my hubby and i didn't want to cause any trouble there. i finally decided that i couldn't let her go into a marriage without at least knowing. i made up an anonymous myspace and told her. she didn't even care and still married the guy. i felt better in the end that at least she knew. i would want someone to tell me.

oh really	If you are trully bothered that someone is cheating on their spouse, why dont you try talking to the cheatER, and see if you cant talk some sense into them, offer to help them find a counselor, or a pastor someone who can honestly help them, the non-cheating spouse could get very angry at you, and think you are causing problems, because their first instinct is "DENIAL", because no one wants to be cheated on, and if this person is your friend, then help them by helping the cheater..good luck

Lucci	Absolutely--- my conscious would not leave me alone until I tell them.

lisa s	yes and no...yes because i think the other person needs to know..wouldn't u..and no because it would be none of my business........i don't really know...hell, but i would want to know if mine was....

Brett H	thats a hard question, if you tell, your in fear of possible losing the respect of your friend, but if you don't and your friend finds out you knew, thats a whole other can of worms. i would tell, not in the, ha ha, guess what i know way, but be straight with your friend, be honest thats all you can do as a friend. i would rather hurt my friend once than have them find out their spouse has been cheating on them for years, that pain is much worse. once a cheater always a cheater, it's never a one time thing.

latricia m	if we are related yes otherwise no

belindaramos21	Only if I knew for sure the spouse didnt know. If the spouse knows and is playing dumb then you'd be wasting your time.

luckystar	it depend on the situation and the people involved. if you know the fact and the players then i would look at talking to the person. but knowing that if you tell the person they may not believe you and it could be the end of the friendship or more.

Wildflower	Depends on how well I knew the other person.. my mom, my brother.. yeah, I'd tell them if I KNEW beyond all doubt that their spouse was cheating on them.... Someone that is a friend, well, it depends... again, if I KNEW beyond all doubt.. I'd probably tell them what I knew without making judgements.. "Hey, I don't want to tell you this, and am only telling you cause I'd want someone to tell me, I caught Jeremy and Amy together.. without a doubt... and I'm only telling you this because I'm afraid of what STD's he's bringing home to you... " But, if it was a coworker or close aquaintance, I'd probably just mind my own business. Of course, the main question I'd ask myself ... would I want someone to tell me? And undeniably, that would be yes... but, have heard it ruins your friendship with the person you tell.

Pecan Pie	No. My best friend was cheating on her husband...but I did not tell the husband. Why? Because she is my best friend, and she confided in me...i knew her longer than i knew him. I wldn't even know him if it wasnt for her. I wld feel its none of my business. Now if i knew he was cheating on my best friend, then hell yeah i wld tell her. Cuz that's my girl.....and wldn't want her to get hurt. She is like family...he's not. So i guess it all depends on the situation.

Lolo	No - because you don't know why they're cheating. Maybe they swing (know a couple who do) or maybe they've agreed to an open relationship. Mostly likely its neither but it's not your place to bring the news. What I would do though it let the cheater know that I know... them knowing that you have that information but not knowing what you will do with it is enough for them to straighten up or be more discreet.

Amber P	Well, I'm completely unsure. If I chose to tell the person, I would want to have solid proof. I think it puts you in an awkward position. Either you'll be believed, but chances are you'll catch the fall out.

{Lisa}	Depends on my relationship with the spouse. I would tell my best friend in a heart beat, right after I kicked the shi* out of him. But if it were someone that I am not that close with, I would probably try to stay out of their private business.

VPQ	I would probably tell the hubby that its wrong and if he continues to cheat then I would tell him that i would notify the wife if he does it again.

Ms. Wrinkle	I would have to know all the details before I would do anything. And how close are you to the 2 people. How would it affect your relation with the couple. Maybe you could throw hints but not come right out and say.

box of rain	Your best bet is to keep out of it. Or, if you must, tell them, but don't expect them to be appreciative of the news.

Courtney S	it depends on how close I was to the couple, and who I was really friends with (where my loyalty is really) however, If i were being cheated on, I would certainly want someone who knew to tell me!

amaybride	Yes, I would tell because I would want someone to tell me.

cowboyfanforever	No because i would not want to get involved in the whole situation,plus if you tell then you could ultimately be the bad guy

momo916	Would they believe you if you told them? I got pretty upset with several people when they told me...it took finding out in no uncertain terms for me to believe it.

Courtney G	Heck Yeah! Becuz the other spouse who is getting cheated doesn't deserve to be lied to by the other one. Hope this helps! -Courtney*

Jolly	Chances are the cheated on spouse already knows. To inform him or her is to make "open" the fact, and the spouse only may have wished that the cheating is at least unknown to others....by telling, you destroy that illusion. Bottom line? I wouldn't mention it.

Steven's Mommy	definately, especially if they are married. I think a person who holds that knowledge has an obligation to tell the person...do the right thing

Secret troll U hate	No because it's not my business.

Pythagoras	Unless the one being cheated on was a very close friend of mine, I would probably say, "Its none of my business. The spouse will find out soon enough".

sasch	yes i would ! bc its gonna hurt the longer you wait. for example if theyve only done it once then its not that hurtful then 12 times ...ya know

pj_mark115	better have some very good proof before saying anything. depends on the affair is a more than once.

ilovecoach	only if it were my best friend or family. the longer you wait, the worse it gets.

Chalie M	Depends on how close. I might mail a letter.