In the aftermath of my hubby's confession of his affair do i seek revenge on his girlfriend or him or both?

*warriorinthemaking**	as much as you want to get revenge, cause that is a very heart crushing experience, the wise thing to do is leave it to God! he can do far more then what you can do! trust me when i say he will repay! HE WILL! its hard to not take matters on your own, i KNOW but i also KNOW he will take care of the ones that trust in him!

cope_acetic	Hit him where it really HURTS--his wallet. Serve divorce papers & take everything from his cheating azz that you can GET. Exactly what he deserves.

tellme_icouldhaveitall	Affairs... ouch. My father and my mother were married for 16 years before he found out about her affair. But my father handled things really well. Despite how bad it hurt him, he didn't seek revenge on my mother, or her boyfriend. Instead, he realized that the marriage couldn't be saved, and when my mother asked for a divorce, he gave it to her. A couple of months later, my mother came groveling back at his feet because she realized that she really did love him, that she was sorry, and she admired him for not seeking revenge or getting even. I think you should figure out whether the marriage can be saved, if you can forgive him. If not, move on with your life. I wish you the best of luck!

Midnight Winter WOLF	I know you are in so much pain right now, but the answer that you seek...is peace of mind for yourself. Revenge is a quick fix for this pain that you feel, and it will not solve anything only make you feel temporarily better. YOU need LONG TERM peace of mind, and the only way to do that is to think about your relationship. Is it worth holding on too? Is counseling with your husband going to make you feel any better or worse? YOU are more important than him, he was not thinking of you when he did this thing...so NOW it is time for YOU. Find your inner strength and see to you...before you become another statistic...a Woman who is trying to cope with adultery, but is miserable. Find the JOY that you once had, inside yourself and then move on to the next step, work it out with hubby or kick him out. Whatever happens GOOD LUCK AND BLESSINGS TO YOU

fitzovich	Neither. The only and best revenge..... is living well ~

Outman	Revenge is a harsh word my dear...I like reckening... Ignore the "mistress" and hit him where it will hurt the most...in his wallet. My first wife took me for about 30 grand and a college education...I caught up with her after she got a great job at my expense. I ended up with everything including the income tax returns for two years....funny thing was I only wanted a divorce and I got everything and then some. She went crying to the idiot she was seeing and he cut her loose. That was 28 years ago and I still get a chuckle out of it. Listen if you want to heart a woman, break her heart. If you want to hurt a man, do it financially. You'll feel much better in the end and have the bank account to prove it. And there is a big ocean out there, full of big fish. Keep the faith little sister, you'll be OK. By the way she's on her third divorce.

Jane Marple	Obviously your husband thinks you are a better person then a revengeful person if he decided to confess to you. That would be immature on your part....and it will not make you feel better.

felix8462	Revenge is no good. You need to concentrate on you and your husband---forget the tramp.

skeeter195848	He told you for a reason, to stop the affair and build an honest life with you OR to call it quits with you and HE can't walk out and wants you to. So figure it out first, and what do you want? Seek counseling if you two want to stay together and NO do not seek revenge on anyone you are an adult act like one

TANEISE C	Why waste your time and your energy? Forget the both of them and move on. Take your frustrations out in the gym or some type of kickboxing. You don't need to be locked up in jail. Jail is no place to be, just ask Paris Hilton...lol

ARIEL	Best revenge is divorce him get a lawyer and tell them because of your family lifestyle, you need about 5-10K alimony a month or 2/3 of his checks.

J D	Why would you waste your time on something that would produce nothing good? I'd use my energy to pack bags since one of us would be out of there the next day. If you still feel you MUST take revenge, remember that it was your husband that took those vows, not the other woman.

moosies	Work it out with your hubby, if you love him & he's worth everything to you, you can make your marriage work out, he of course has to agree to that also.

poweredbysleep	him if you go after her your a fool he cheated on you she is just the instrument he chose to do it with so get him not her make him suffer mash his stuff or whatever people do in a bad break up ^^ ( but i would just mess with his mind cause that is more pain full than a broken anything )

beaddiva	Leave them alone. They will get their just rewards. Just stay away and get away from them both. I did and I don't care what they do. I told her "if you like having leftovers, be my guest!"

Devika P	Niether. He told you, and you need to be stronger than him and control your anger towards him and his ex-girlfriend. Otherwise, you'd be stooping to his level and you're better than that. If you're still upset let your husband know how you feel. Talk it out with him. Don't seek revenge because it won't make matters any better. You might even feel worse after doing it. I hope this helps. :O) Good luck with what you decide.

m m	i think you should either leave him or forgive him revenge? thats a little immature something a kid would do if you must though - your husband the other girl was just doing her, she didnt try to hurt you maybe she didnt even know about you.

Sakura	If you ask some of my friends, who are guys, they'd take it out on the guy.....and my power/revenge crazy friend says both....and i say " I have no idea =D" as usual.

Phenomena	dont play revenge games.........they will worsen the situation. If your hubby has confessed anything that shows that he feels it somewhere. Just try to show your anger in day to day activities. That way he will realize that he has done a bad mistake and what a big hearted and wonderful woman you are.

Stanley the Westie	NONE just DUMP him..why waste time on a useless guy..If you really want to it's HIM..she didn't cheat on you HE DID! I don't understand why people like to blame the other person when your partner is the one that cheated on YOU. She just went along with him

tasha 24	him

Moondog	Revenge is a waste of your time and emotion. Either forgive him and get on with your life or dump him.

referralguru	Well you could do either, but what would hurt him the most s just walking away and taking everything with you. At least that way he will never feel justified by what he has done

thirsty mind	Why consider either of them as worthy of your time. LEAVE or PUT HIM OUT.

chicago floater	sek revenge on your bain for making you come up with this crappy solution. either you move on or you accept it and deal with it.

Stephen P	What is that going to do? Let it go, seek counsiling with hubby, dont go after her you can be arrested, and whats that going to solve?