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Is it considered cheating if...?
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Is it considered cheating if...?

You are going through a divorce, and you have relations with someone before the papers are complete?

My friend at work and I have been going back and forth over wheither this is cheating. (A co worker is doing it, and we don't think it's cheating if they are seperated and filed papers)

Your thoughts?

I guess that depends on if it is a mutual divorce.
Mutual = Not Cheating
Not Mutal = Cheating

Whether you've started or completed a divorce, you're going your separate ways, so it isn't cheating.
You and your friend are really stupid.

Just Me
You are 100% incorrect!!!


It's that simple!

It is considered cheating, because if they person who's filing the divorce found out they could use that against them.

It's definetely cheating. It's common, but it's a little messed up if you ask me.


i guess if they are living in different homes and the paperwork is started than it's not.

i would wait for a long time after wards.

legally yes.

However, in every other way, I'd say no. They've already "divorced" in spirit I'd say at this point. Signing papers just means it's legal.

It is a matter of personal beliefs. I live in MN. Once the paper work is filled, nothing can stop the divorce, not even death.

Legally it isn't unless they get married in which case it would be considered bigamy. But ethically who cares unless that person still has feelings in which case they will feel as if they were cheating.

H. Dizzle ;)
As long as you two are separeated
it is not.
It can take the longest time for divorces to be final.
So it isnt expected for you two to be selibate
during the divorce.


If you're cheating yourself or your partner out of the relationship, then YES. That's why it's called "cheating."

Since they're both not interested in the relationship, dating others is fine.

edjalymar b
No because your are going though a divorce and then that wont count as cheating. when you cheat on someone is when you are married or you are dating someone and you go out with another person then that is cheating!

/\ SETH /\P/\RT)
If you've made it clear with your husband that it's over, then in I cant see how you can be accused of cheating.

The paperwork may say otherwise, but in all reality, if your heart says it's okay, do it.

You have both mutually emotionally checked-out of the relationship. NO it's not cheating.

Legally, yes. Technically between the two of you, NO.

If the papers are in the works, just waiting to be signed...the marriage is over, technically. You are now free to conduct your life the way you want without the approval or knowledge of your ex spouse. No, it is not cheating.

Sandy Ego
Cheating is breaking a promise. If the person still feels bound by a promise, then it's cheating. If not, then it isn't. My personal view is that if I'm in the middle of filing for divorce, our promises to each other are null and void.

It is considered cheating until the divorce is final. And the judge could rule in your spouse's favor if you commit adultery prior to the divorce. Think of the possible consequences, and just wait until it's all over.

Cellar Door
Legally, yes. Your spouse could pursue an alienation of affection lawsuit against whomever you are sleeping with.

But ethically, I personally say if you are emotionally seperate, no longer sleeping together and its just a matter of signing papers, I say its ok.

Jo Jo
It's a moot point, the papers are filed and the marriage is over and both parties are ready to call it a day. If they consider the marriage over and are on their way to resolving it legally, then I think it's fine to move on.

Mrs Heather Schabby, M&D Goddess
If they already filed the divorce papers, I think it's okay.

I do think in certain states the court of law DOES look at is as infidelity, though since the divorce isn't final. May want to check your state.

From a moral standpoint though, I don't see what the big deal is.

I don't know if it is considered cheating or not, but I would have to say that it is NOT. I mean the divorce is just around the corner so what is the big deal is what I think. I have done that with one of my exes, and I have no regrets or do I feel like I was cheating. That's my thought. (smile)

my divorce took two and a half years to complete. once you have filed, you are free to date. i don't recommend it because it might look like you were fooling around before your court filing. i didn't date until about a year after the divorce was final. i got custody of both of my kids, my ex went on welfare so she wouldn't have to pay child-support.

Love Kills Slowly
Not too awful long ago I was divorced. I was accused from the beginning that I wa seeing someone before I decided to leave my ex. I wasn't, but that doesnt matter. After I filed, I then began to date that someone. NO, it's not cheating. If you two have decided that its over, why not make yourself happy somehow. Just be careful not to get yourself hurt!!

I think that it's cheating so long as you legally have a husband.

The moment they are split, that's a different matter, however. Maybe it's not so ethical for your co-worker to start a new relationship officially directly after finalizing the divorce, but at least it's not cheating.

Dexter S
Well, legally, it's infidelity, and if caught before all the paperwork is completed, in some states, it can screw up the split of assets.

Whether or not it's cheating is up to his or hers own personal morals. I'd say if they have to hide it from each other, or feel guilty about it, then it's pretty safe to say it's cheating.

Personally if the papers are filed and they clearly both don't have feelings for each other anymore, I don't think it would be considered cheating. Cheating is betraying ones trust, and if they are separated already I don't see a problem with that.

However if there are kids involved I would be cautious of jumping into a relationship, it could be difficult for young children to understand what's going on...

Guess every situation is different.

The Marriage is broken, the paperwork has been filed to legally end the marriage... all the steps are in place for the marriage to be void.

In my opinion, this isn't cheating... cheating is when your intent is to be involved in an exclusive, intimate relationship where both parties have consented not to participate in any outside relationships...

Obviously both parties involved in a divorce have now consented to let go of the relationship, the promises and vows have been broken and the intent in divorce is clear.

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