Is it selfish to ask your husband to have a vasectomy after 3 children?

John Deere 4620	Tell him it's a turn on.

King G	Hell yeah that's selfish. It's HIS body. Nobody should ask someone to do that, I don't care if you've been married for 100 years. Why don't you get your tubes tied?! Get your situation "taken care of" and leave his situation alone. Women man... they want EVERYTHING.

tophdguy	No it's not selfish. 20 years ago a vasectomy was not reversible, but that's not the case today. They are 100% reversible. So ask him about it again and remind him that should he change his mind in the future he can have it reversed.

*Magic 8 Ball ( )( * )**	Absolutely selfish. If YOU are done having kids, then you need to take care of yourself. Who is to say that something may happen and your husband would want to have another child (what if you died or got divorced)? Just like he can't make you get your tubes tied, you can't make him get a vasectomy.

Peter Griffin	If you don't want anymore kids, and you don't want to go on the pill ever again, then you should get your tubes tied. If you know you don't want anymore children and you're happy with that then get your tubes tied and you will never have to worry about it again. Why would you want him to get a vasectomy when you can just get your tubes tied. Is it selfish to ask, No. Is it selfish to ask and expect him to go get one, Yes it is. You're not being killed off, but if something were to ever happen what your mum said is true. I don't know about the rich part but wanting to possibly have more children is a possibility if something happened. Besides you look at it as a little insurance. If he ever decides to cheat on you he might end up getting some other girl pregnant and you will find out about it. With a vasectomy he can run wild and free like a wild stallion. Stopping and filling up at every watering hole that comes along.-

angry_skittle	i dont think its selfish at all. but you should ask your husband. and if he is so extremely opposed to it, then you can get your tubes tied. alot of men dont want to get a vasectomy at a young age because they might want more kids one day. no, its not that your being killed off, but accidents do happen and though you dont want to think about it, you could be out of the picture one day and your husband is probably not going to want to be alone. but for the time being, just dont worry about it. if he doesnt want to get a vasectomy, you just get your tubes tied. hope this helps :)

Peabee	Your mum is wrong this time sorry to say. A husband and a wife decide which birth control to use. The only 'what if' to consider is 'What if we get pregnant again?'. If you have both decided no more children, then go ahead with the vasectomy. The freedom a vasectomy provides is priceless and as far as surgery for you and the pill go and all the years of worrying, it is worth the discomfort he will feel. He is quite a man to agree. You both will not be sorry. As far as any far distant possibilities, a vas-reversal is relatively easy, safe and successful procedure it he so chooses. No you are not being killed off...go with the vasectomy.

farmerswife	Why don't you have your tubes tied?

lovepink865	Why dont you get an IUD or use condoms!

Starla	take responsibility for your own body and use birth control

jaded	dont discuss your private business with your idiot mother.

Richard	Bad to ask him. Bad bad bad.

Haggi	Isn't mum a real charmer! It's his turn now and let him get that vasectomy.

Jen	no, it's not selfish but you can get your tubes tied

Thumper	No it is not, is it selfish to ask you to have your tubes tied?

That's Life!	MY HUSBAND HAD A VASECTOMY AT 28 YEARS OLD. WE GOT MARRIED AT 22 AND BY THE TIME WE WERE 26 WE ALREADY HAD TWO KIDS. WE DECIDED THAT EITHER OF US WANTED ANYMORE AND HE HAD IT DONE.

Belle	No, but I think you could both equally donate to the cause. If he gets a vasectomy, you could have your tubes tied. You need to know exactly where the both of you stand on this.

Sunny	You know what? I think it would be in your best interests to get YOUR tubes tied. There are no hormonal effects and YOU will never have to worry about being pregnant again. Let him keep his live wigglers, who cares. You'll have peace of mind.

KOTS	It's not selfish to ask him but it is selfish to expect that he goes through with it. It's his body. Let him decide. Many people are able to manage some type of birth control without a vasectomy.

just me	WHY DON'T YOU GET A TUBILIGATION? (equivalent to a vasectomy but for women). HUH? Oh, it's OK for him BUT YOU are the one who doesn't want anymore kids. PULEEZE. NO, since it is your call, then YOU GET YOURSELF FIXED.

Poppy	No not being killed off. I personally have mixed feelings about vasectomies. A very large percentage of men with prostate cancer have had vasectomies. That doesn't mean getting one will give you cancer. Too much research still to be done on that note. However, those numbers would make me think awful hard about it.

Lindsay C	Yeah, that was so rude of your mom to say that! but why can't you get your tubes tie? taking Birth control is hardly something you stack up against him getting a vasectomy, its not an even trade off. you two really need to discuss what both of you want, not just what you want him to do.

lilstar	It's not selfish to discuss it as an option but is selfish to just expect him to do it or force him if you are perfectly able to get YOUR tubes snipped or tied instead. It just depends which one of you wishes to go through with it the most/who has the biggest fear of it etc.

opinionated	in my 1st marriage,she got her tubes tied,because she was the one more adamant about no more kids. in my 2nd marriage,i got it done ,because i was the more adamant about no more kids. one of you must not want any more ,more than the other.....for me this is the one to have it done. if both agree about the same ,the guy should do it. no where near as bad it is seems.

Anne	I think it's none of your mother's business. It's up to you and your husband what you do for birth control. If he's ok with it, then there's no problem. I am not quite sure how to interpret what you wrote, but I think you're saying you already had this conversation with him and you are in agreement. No sense going around creating problems where there aren't any.

sushi	no it's not selfish, but think of the long run and all possibilities even bad ones like your mom mentioned.. pray to god it never happens but what "if" something did happen and he did remarry.. that would effect him too.. there are lots of other options for protection then just a permanent change.. i mean it'd be the same as tying your tubes and then something happened and you remarried and your new hub wanted kids.. think about that.. and from both points..

The Original GarnetGlitter	You two can sit down and discuss it but understand that it's invasive surgery and he will be rendered sterile by it. It's a little more involved having your tubes tied however the discomfort from it is nor more than the discomfort he will have with a vasectomy. ...and no you are not being killed off lol....just talk about it, that's all.

Linux User	What could be selfish about asking him to get a 15 min surgery that costs only about $500 or so? Just ask some of the girls you work with if their hubbies had vasectomies. Ask any of them to talk to your hubby about it. Once he finds out that a vasectomy is a â€œpiece of cakeâ€ he will have no problem with it. I had a vasectomy. It was less traumatic that a typical tattoo.