Is it spousal abuse if it only happens once?

M	It is not okay. It will only happen again.

neveragain	GET OUT, that is abuse, even if it happens once. No excuse...what if it happens again?

Rebecca W	Yes, it's abuse. Once it starts, it's very rare that it won't happen again. He needs to really say something to those kids himself.

An0nym0us mAn1Ac	You need to speak with your children about what went wrong. Have your husband apologize to you in front of them and explain why what he did was bad. If it happens again, Leave.

FRANCO	Yes it is. Tell him if he even thinks of hitting you again you will leave him for good and also that you will call the police and throw his A S S in jail !

bballxbaby147	don't be stupid. if any man hits a woman EVER then he will do it agian. my aunt had the same thing happen to her. and she took him back and he just did it agian. don't do it to yourself or your children. get out of there.

lee2104	put it this way, might not happen to you, could be one of the children next time, and it will be your fault, you had the chance to stop it now!

Amber A	you don't have to get a divorce, but i would definitely recommend therapy. yes you can get past this but its gonna take a lot of work (and NO MORE DRINKING)

dma	yes. it is abuse if it happens once or a million times. it should bother you for both reasons. drinking is NOT an excuse. If he regrets what he did his reaction should be to stop drinking to ensure he never does this again. And he NEVER should.

jenny_penny_06	if he has a few drinks and is willing to hit you a few times in one night...its bound to happen again...thats also something your kids wont forget so i hope they dont grow up resenting him..i know i would...but just be careful because im sure it wont be the last time

andrea	It's going to happen again. If a guy is prone to abusing his partner, it isn't a one time thing, no matter what he says. I grew up for 7 years of my life watching my dad hit my mom, and then he killed himself. Do you want your kids around that kind of unstable environment? Leave.

April <3	yes, it still is. be careful and alert (do it once and they'll do it again) please keep you and your children safe...it's better that they know too, so they wont grow up and pick a man like him and think that this is acceptable. you and your family are in my prayers. God Bless!

Liza	no matter how many times its happened, its wrong and its abuse. just because this has never happened before doesnt mean it cant happen again. what if hes drunk again?even worse if he goes at your kids? you need to think about whether your willing to take these risks. its your choice... one slap can turn into some kicks and punches easily. good luck:)

Case	Yes, it is spousal abuse if your spouse hits you. It doesn't matter if it's once, twice or 20 times. Like the other posters on here said - if it happens once, it will happen again. Please be careful. I'm worried about you and your children. May God be with you and your children.

Joe Canada	You both need professional help. Him for his drinking and anger issues that developed into physical harm, and you to understand what needs to happen to ensure this won't happen again. Unfortunately, forgetting this incident will not ensure that it will not happen again. Good luck to both of you.

willowbee3	Even if it only happens once - its still spousal abuse. The fact that your kids saw it makes it worse. You need to talk with your husband and the both of you need to talk to your children and assure them that what he did was wrong and that it will never happen again.

Aaron M	Yes it is abuse, but every abuses people to some level. Was it a light smack, or heavy beating? was it intended to hurt? how long have you been together without this kind of thing? Is he sorry? is he going to drink less now? I dont think it is any cause for alarm depending on his attitude and intent. The kids should definately not learn that it is ok or normal is any way at all though.

Shredded Cottage Cheese	if you take it and your kids see no repercussion to his action, they are statistically MUCH more likely to become abusers themselves. Ask yourself: do you want your kids doing this to someone else? if not, you need to do something. Maybe not divorce, but he and you need to get counseling, he needs to admit he has a problem. He also probably should STOP drinking!!!

nataliebherr	are you serious? WOW! Spoken like a true person who has been abused. Your children saw this? and they saw you do what... show weakness by letting him hit you? show them that it is ok for a man to hit his wife? i can go on and on and you know what all i can say is im sorry you are truely stupid!! just remember First time shame on you second time shame on me... people will stop having sympathy after a while - you know... this angers me that you are seriously asking this question. I am sorry this is happeneing to you and you are not strong enough to do something about it.

lovecoffeecup	How can you love someone who hits you black and blue? Sooner or later, your kids will mention that, when they are older. So what will you say then, " I love him"? They will turn back on you. This might be the roll model for them, it is not okay to hit in any argument, no excuses what so ever. www.froodle.net

Sarah	It's spousal abuse and it could escalate if you do not stop it now. You may get drunk together in the future and since he will not be in his right mind, might think it's cool since you did nothing about it the last time. I'm sorry you had to experience it even that one time, but personally I would pray. Everyone has an opinion. Your husband may need help or you will in the future if it continues.

bobohead	Wow so what happens the next time he gets drunk? Yes it is abuse if it happens once, even if he had hit you just once on that one occasion, but you said a few, and for your kids to be right there watching it, you need to get away for a while...has he apologized at all, does he even feel guilty, he was drunk does he even remember? if this happens once, it could and very likely will happen again...

seksiangel69	It doesn't matter if he hit you 1 time or 100 times. The fact is that he did hit you. It is abuse. The fact that your children saw it, saw daddy hitting mummy. You need to talk to them about it. It doesn't matter if he was sober or drunk. Its still abuse. Are you worried that he may hit your children...if so, you need to do soemthing about that! You should talk to him about it as well :)

*~~wElcOme 2 tHe bLacK paRadE~~*	if it escalates, and happens more and more, then GET OUT before it gets really bad. because, really if he does continue, please please please take your kids and get help, people like that don't change. but since it was just one time, i think if you give it time, you can work through it, unless he continually starts to hit you, then it would be considered abuse.

Delphia	Key words he had been drinking. Take it from somebody who had their mom put in the hospital due to her alcoholic dad. DON'T LET IT ESCALATE! Beg him to stop drinking no its not abuse because it only happened ounce and if you get divorced it will only make it worse he may even hurt the kids without even really meaning to. Stop it now before it gets out of hand. No its not OK but its the only time so just explain that he was being irrational and not to do that in front of the kids or at all for that matter!

janet h	No it is not ok!!!! I don't care if he was sober or not. If he has the ability to strike someone he loves...I could not imagine what else he is capable of doing. I been down that road before...the abuse has to start sometime. Do something about it before it escalates. If you do not want a divorce I would bring up some anger management classes or couples therapy. If he is truly sorry for what he had done to you he will have no problem pushing his pride aside to go through with these classes. I am so sorry you had to endure such an awful experience,

lostinsidemyself	Yes it's abuse! So what you love him, is this how you are going to raise your kids? You have to put THEM first, not how you feel! Well you can't erase the day you have to DEAL with this! Drinking is no excuse! If HE really loved YOU he wouldn't have hit you! I'd tell him that he needs to apologize to his children, get counseling, stop drinking and if he doesn't, it's OVER! Unless of course you WANT you kids to see this happen again!

SimpleGirl	No it's not okay!! He needs to get help, it doesn't have to mean an automatic divorce, but he probably has either a drinking problem or an anger management problem. Tell him to get help asap! And you should probably see someone professionally too to learn how to deal. It doesn't have to be the end of your marriage but if untreated could be a sign of worse things to come, because it WILL happen again. p.s. about the kids, you need to talk to them about what happened, and make sure they know it's not okay or acceptable behavior in a marriage.

Dara S	Did you talk with your husband about this? That is first and for most.... his reaction may have you thinking differently about divorce. That was a gigantic no no with hitting you but hitting you in front of the kids ugh! I have heard of people being arrested for hitting someone once so to answer your question- yes it is spousal abuse. Drinking is just an excuse to get away with something so I seriously think you need to talk with your husband and possibly a therapist.

MK 10/02/2009 AE	If it happens once, then it is extremely likely that this will happen again. Additionally, if he was not concerned that your children were there, then he may have few or no qualms about hitting them either. You should definitely talk to someone about this, there are many organizations that are able to assist you during this time. The YWCA, the National Abuse hot line or other crisis hot line, or even a marriage counselor. Most of these services are offered free of charge. This is such a confusing and stressful time, don't let it slide. Remember, alcohol is never a good excuse, and you don't deserve abuse. Let us know what happens.