Is it wrong for men to lie about going to the strippers?

BabyboyLeo	I'm sorry that I I'm answering your question with another question. Why do women stay with guys like that? So would you say that I'll get more girls if I lie and go to strip clubs? If that is the case women are easy.

Kim	Yep your right, he was wrong to lie to you and wrong to do things that you think are wrong. I would be more pissed about being lied to than what he actually did, that just made his actions twice as bad.

nikie_atkinson	You have every right to be mad if hes doing that. Stand up for your self if you don't he will treat you like this for as long as you guys are together. Don't let this fly! stand up to him but be nice and calm and tell him how it makes you feel and if hes not willing to listen then he doesn't deserve you!

Panther	My dear, we ALL lie sometimes. Yeah...with guys it happens much more than with women I guess :)) The most reasons of lie is one - self protection. We lie because we want to cover the truth and we want to cover the truth because we know we do/did smth. wrong. But... u know... it's difficult to control and that's why we-people always need the next chances :) Now about going to strippers; If u do not like him to go to a stripper it means there is something bothers u about it. It's normal. And it means u r NOT comfortable, unhappy with the idea of him to go to strippers. So if u love each other u have to respect each other point of views and try to be more supportive. Talk to him about that, explain him the way u feel and ask him to understand u and be supportive as u both love each other and u don't want to loose ur trust for him. I'm sure he'll understand u as, I know, u r able to hold a nice and clever conversation by bringing up all from ur heart. Good luck to u!

Common Sense	Yes, he should have told you he was going and invited you to go with him...

Flagger	It is wrong to lie about it. Almost as bad as putting him in a position to feel he needs to lie to keep you from busting his @ss about it. Strip joints are not cheating. Why is it such a big deal that you feel compelled to make such an issue of it. Why would he not lie about it? He catches crap either way. Lie now catch crap later. Once found out come clean about all the other times. One load of crap for five visits. Not bad . Way to reinforce bad behavior (lying) by making an issue of not so bad behavior. If you find that this is a lack of respect then you should leave him now. Don't bother looking for another guy soon though. Most guys in this country attend strip joints occasionally. Get over it and move on. Save being incredulous for a serious offense.

Starla_C	Get a grip! Me go to strip clubs. Big deal!! They come home and are hot and ready for you! Don't make HIM feel like he has to lie. If he wants to go to the stip club, let him go!

mojo52	In my eyes it's wrong. If he lies about that before marriage what else needs to be lied about. All that does is plant the seed of doubt in you and without resolution it grows to proportions that eventually you won't be able to or willing to deal with. Honesty is always the best policy as date as that sounds, but it's still very true. Do you feel he's looking for something you can't or aren't providing? He shouldn't be second guessing how you would feel rather than just telling you he's going. The going is not a problem with me it's the lying and cloak and dagger actions that is a problem. Good luck.

jessie_ann2	I think if its out with the guys for a special thing and you know about then it would be fine. I wouldn't be happy about him sneaking around and lieing, something must be up.

maigen_obx	If he's lying to you about this, what else is he lying about? I could care less about going to the strip club, but the lying, not having it. I wouldn't be with a man who lies to me, and goes behind my back to do things he knows I don't like. Nothing justifies lying to you. You are absolutely correct that he shows a serious lack of respect for you.

Society Damaged Product	it is out of care, he doesn't want for you to feel lack of confidence that you are enough for him,

kjnsr	it shows you each different values - if you cannot acept that he will go to strip clubs then dump him - if he will not change there's nothing you can do, except go to a strip club on amatur night and strut your stuff - see if he likes that

Sandy M	Nah. It's just easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission. Let the man have his "guys' night out". At the end of the day, I hope, you know whose bed he sleeps in. Cut him some slack. Sandy

Kitty	Depends on how you feel about it... I tell my husband that if out of the blue he decides to go to a strip club, he doesn't need to tell me where he's going. I'm not gonna to keep him from going, but I do find it distasteful - so I simply don't need to know. If he was going every week, I would be worried, but if it's something that happens once in five years because his buddies are going - I don't really care, but I don't terribly want to know.

mysteryousmtz	I've been on you shoes and I know how you feel. When my husband was in Basic Training he went to the Strip Club 2 or 3 times and I remember once that he called me from the Strip Club and he told me that he was their for 3 hours and when he told me that I got very mad. Now that we are together he hasn't gone to one cause he knows better than that and cause he knows not to disrespect me like that. You need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel and maybe for next time he will ask you if he can go. Good Luck and God Bless to you and your loved ones... :o)

Rachel Marie	I think you are right. If he knows how you feel than he should not lie to you about going against your wishes. I think that if he was going to do it any way regardless of how you feel than he should at least tell you the truth.

QT	What else is he lying about? No he is not justified in his lies. If you don't like him going to a strip club and you are in a committed relationship, he should respect that or you should move on.

InspectorBudget	I think that it is time you and your bf had a talk about being open and honest with each other. If he now lies to you, this will carry on so long as there are no negative consequences to his lying. And this is NOT a good foundation if you decide to get married one day. Tell him that trust and integrity is very important in a relationship, and if this trust is broken or compromised, it will take a very long time, if ever, for the relationship to recover. Ask him if the experience of going to a strip joint is worth risking your relationship - if he really values and loves you, he will be willing to give up the strip joints.

miss.mongoose	Yes, it's wrong to lie about it, and you need to let him know that - and then tell him WHY you are uncomfortable with him going to see strippers. Perhaps he just thinks you're overreacting to the IDEA of strippers rather than actually having your feelings hurt by his actions. Ask him how he would feel if the shoe were on the other foot - I don't think he would feel comfortable with you going to see male strippers, especially if you lied about it. Tell him that commitment means not lying to each other - if he doesn't understand that, then perhaps it's time to move on. Liars by their very nature will lie about all uncomfortable situations they encounter, and right now, you have no idea what else he's lying about. That's not good for a relationship.

sway_26	Obviously he feels the same way - that you cont trust him enough not to be mad about him going. If he isnt doing anything wrong, then whats the big deal with him going? Or maybe you could put on a show for him instead?

girliepinkness	if he lied he thought he was doing something wrong and now its not only a thing of going to a stripclub but its also become a problem of lieing.

Snuffy	It's wrong to lie about such a dastardly deed UNLESS you're married and fear for your personal safety, OR you have a g/f that's gonna get pissed and on your butt forever and ever.

blaw7162000	yea that is true but i know one thing my aunt did when my uncle went to strip clubs. She started striping for him and he stop going. i don't like going to strip clubs but i would paid my own girl to strip for me. At least i know where my money is going.

Ashley P	well I would be upset aswell...I think its pathetic, they he has to pay a women to pay attention to him! he

blondie	its wrong to lie about anything, especially lying to your b/f g/f. i do not know why men use the excuse "I didn't tell you cause i knew how you would react", that excuse is so lame its still a lie, or doing something they know that there woman would not like and just not telling us well to me that is just as bad as lying to us, men should tell us woman everything, even if they already know what we are going to say, instead of hiding or lying to us if they would just be upfront with us from the beginning, we would not give them half as much hell.

Heather	I've always had very honest relationship with my men, so they never felt the need to hide it. I've even gone to the strip clubs with them. It's no big deal.

wilsonsarahmarie	I think It IS wrong to lie. Would he care if the roles were reversed? I think those things should be discussed. You are right, it is a violation of trust and communication. If he wanted to go, then he should have at least TOLD you first. If you don't care, then it shouldn't have been a big deal. Men! Go figure! Good Luck!

Dove	You know the answer to this question but feel the need for validation. Yes, any sort of dishonesty in an inter-personal relationship is wrong. Let him know that lying about going, is worse then having gone in the first place. Once you sort this out, you will have to figure out how to handle the difference in values around this issue. If a satisfactory compromise can not be reached, you may want to find someone who more closely shares your values. There are plenty of men out there who have no interest in strippers. Best of luck.