Is this fair or unfair???

lexi2080	maybe your husband has something on his mind.that causes him to be so restless. instead of arguing try to get to the source of this problem by talking

Kelly S	unfair

Ð”Ð–ÐžÐÐ˜ Ð”ÐžÐ›AP (UK)	you bothj need to sit down and talk about this relationship.. he cant stick his head in the sand about how he is being a bad partner.. at the same time you need to accept he works a lot and v possibly needs a rest.. you both need to talk and come to some mutual agreement that keeps both of you happy.. he should have more uninterupted sleep (ie not getting up after a nap for dinner) this wud be better for him and hed need less sleep on the whole.. just talk , if you love each other this will be a minor bump on your road to happiness :D x

mt75689	it's not fair, but as the old saying goes --- 'life's not fair.' Your husband is not going to change until he realizes that his marriage is in deep trouble. Guys are pretty 'thick' when it comes to stuff like this. We don't really take you seriously until you're ready to leave, and then we're willing to do anything to keep that from happening. Our efforts are usually too little and too late. Hopefully your husband begins to realize that he's been an insensitive b@stard when you show him these results, and he decides to make the necessary changes in his life.

C M	Yes he is acting unfairly. I am recently remarried. When I lived on my own I used to be a "snooze" button junkie and hit it four times before I woke up in the morning. My wife, when we moved in together, told me that this was something that she could not handle, because she didn't need to wake up as early as I do (and I don't expect her to get up with me, that would be stupid as we get our stuff, clothes, lunches organized the night before). So I forced myself to get up after it goes off once, or shut it off and lay in bed until I am ready to get up. That way she only is disturbed the one time and she can go back to sleep. Your husband needs to be a bit more respectful and change his routine. You may want to suggest, based on the fact that it does not appear you are going to bed together anyway, if he fall asleep on the couch, then stay there and set his alarm in the living room. Say it in a nice way, and don't yell or make him feel like he is being punished. If he sees that you are not coming down on him for his lifestyle or changing his hours, and your suggestions are simply to make things easier on you, then you may find he will be willing to try changing what he does. The less you condemn someone, the more reasonable and open-minded they usually become.

justice	Define fair. Most people use fair as a way of saying I win you lose. Your husband needs a hobby. Something besides sitting in front of the TV. Suggest you try to find something you both could get interested in and drag him along. Bowling? Karate Classes? Bingo?

Rebel Angel	thought that i recognized this question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuT50fNaS07IaBI2sJQwDGzsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080108080742AADqsIq&show=7#profile-info-5sJgyIL3aa It could be medical too Show some understanding

pitchingcoach	Again? Seperate bedrooms.

Stern40	I am not sure if it matters if it is fair or unfair!! find a solution,sleep in another room .

celticbuddha	i'd say that this is simply his work/sleep/living schedule. and the only way to change that is to probably get him to not sleep between his cup of tea and having dinner. but that's more his decision than it is yours. so in the long run, it's fair for him because that's his schedule and he shouldn't HAVE to change for anyone but himself. but it's unfair to you because you're sleeping schedule is being severely altered because of it. i suggest making it nearly impossible for him to take his "naps".

greenamzee	Sounds very inconsiderate to me...

ALBA 29	Your husband's schedule is definitely very unusual. Is there a reason why he prefers to sleep when he returns home from work, and then wake up at 10:30pm to have his supper? Is he very tired from his day of work? Perhaps a shorter nap would be beneficial, then you can both dine at, say 8pm, and stay up until a common bed time. I can definitely understand how this is disrupting your schedule, but perhaps it is worth it to speak to your hubby about his habit. Maybe there is an underlying issue he is not sharing with you. For the time being, I suggest you try to agree on a dinner and bed time, or find another room in the house where you can spend the night. You need your sleep! Good luck.

I DONT CARE	i dont know military time, but yeah its uncourteous to you, why cant he stay up when he comes home? Apparently he's telling u what u want to hear but not acting on his promises, if all else fails show him that if necessary he will have to sleep in another room, y cant he just stay asleep on the couch then? U need your sleep as well, and since he's not taking u into consideration , but keep in mind that things may get worse withing your relationship, try putting plugs in your ears,or just deal with it for a while, and wait till he realizes how rude he's being and he will slowly change.

softyx	I would say this is unfair ....its okay to live like that when he is a bachelor....but its not okay in married life....I dont think arguments help here...but they make the conditions worse.... I would say you have to talk to him jently and try to convince him to take to a councelor..... they can analyse the situation much better than you do......so dont handle the situation your self.... and be the problem barrier..... and say everything about how you feel to a councelor in front of your hushand.... all the best for you ....

Equinox	Unfair. Best to put the tv in the bedroom and schedule an automatic turn-off after several hours so he can sleep straight through the night.

dj.hatchytt	I wonder if this is something that he can change. Some people just have odd sleep schedules. For instance, my husband, no matter what time he wakes up during the day, which is usually between noon and 3pm, he can't seem to fall asleep before 3 am. My husband is a natural insomniac, and I've gotten used to him waking me up to go to bed during the wee hours of the morning, (I usually start my sleep on the couch).

callawak2	Lou. You already asked this question.

zaxton6	make him sleep in anothr room

Beejee	Beyond unfair...All the way to unhealthy. Tell him I said so.

Jacko	Are you working? Maybe you should adjust to him if he's working from 5:30 am to 6:30 pm every night.

Seth	It's definately unfair. Hear that? It's unfair that your wife should have to suffer that way!!

Maalru3	Well you married him, so you need to try to compramise. The man has strange sleeping habbits. YOu need to respect that. May not be that easy for him to change. Possibly he can't sleep at your schedual. You can fall back asleep faster when he comes in at night, if you don't lay there all pissed off. This sounds like more of a control issue. I personally think you are being unfair. The poor guy has a strange sleep pattern and may not need the same amount of sleep as you. He may not beable to sleep next to you. Not saying that to be mean, but some people just can't sleep well next to someone, and their own sleep habbits. Stop taking it so personal. Be more cmpasionate. You are married to the guy. My man snores, and also has sleep patterns diff then mine. So we sleep seperatly. This is what works. He can't help what he does in his sleep, how can I be mad at that. We still have a very passonate and loving relationship. Reason because we are understanding, not controlling. Stop controlling or trying to control the situation and show some compramise and understanding.

cb	unfair to you. he's crazy. tell him to go run when he has the chance casue he is probably getting fat

The One, The Only Krandazzo!	youve asked this once already one time is enough NO NEED TO POST IT AGAIN!

Ray D	Unfair....tell him dinner is at 1830 if he wants it hot.

GG	why don't you pick up a mattress and set it up in another room (or hallway if you have no other rooms) and tell him you are done with the nonsense. You go to bed like normal and lock the bedroom door and tell him to crash on the other mattress. Sleep is very important and a lack of it will make you edgy, argumentive and stressed out in addition to being tired and sluggish. Good luck... Or you can handle it caveman style (bang him over the head with a tree branch and tie him up and then go get some Zzzzzz's)

The Master	if he's up for work at 5/30 should be in bed at 9o/c

Jonny B	Yeah thats not fair.. I used to work a crazy schedule and I had more consideration than that. ask him to try having dinner when he gets home at 6, and to try and do something with you until bedtime, then try to go to bed together. if he cant do it then ask if he could sleep on the couch for a while until he gets his schedule ironed out because your going crazy.