Just found out wife i'm divorcing is pregnant by another man, not sure how to react?

allo	You were Divorcing her anyway Dude so why the concern . Do you not know what the definition of Divorce is. It means you no longer love the person you are Married to and you want to leave her. You know ' Go Away, Take off, Start again, Bye Bye, Cheerio , Good Riddance, And now she is pregnant by another man. She was doing a nixers on the side ,Yea ? That really shows how much she loved you'' Right ??

Brent	You're already divorcing her. This is not your problem except where it comes to affecting your current children. Be sure the court is aware and take this into account when the custody question comes up.

Grist	This is the wrong place to come for advice on the subject of abortion when you don't include data on religious beliefs of the parties, etc. But if your soon to be ex-wife wants to have the suggested abortion, and it seems to be a safe procedure, then you should either support her decision or stay out of it. And if she doesn't want to have the abortion, it's not going to make her happy if you either try to talk her into it, or succeed in getting her to have it.

want2quit	Once a dog, always a dog. If she got with someone that soon after a split with you then she would probably do it again. My advise to you is to just move on. If you have kids together then you should support those kids but let let the other guy pay for his own. You can still be a good father figure to the other child. Take him/her with you when you have your other kids if you want. I often take one of my ex's kids with me and my daughter when i have her but it's not my place to be financially responsible for them. They're kids and i love them all so i try not to treat them any differently than my own. I just think the father should be the one who's responsible for the money matters.

Kitty	I don't know if there's much you can do in this situation. Is she asking for your advice? Of course this guy is going to disappear; it's clear he doesn't want anything to do with this baby. If I were your wife, I would be getting an abortion without question - not for anyone else, but for myself. However, if she actually wants to keep this baby, there's not much anyone can do to dissuade her - it's her choice.

badkitty1969	Uh.....What exactly are you supposed to be reacting to? She's not your wife anymore, and she's not carrying your child. This whole situation has nothing to do with you. Why would you be "left to pick up the pieces"? There is no reason for you to feel one way or the other about any of this because IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU. If you and your soon-to-be-ex-wife have children between you, then they are your responsibility. Any children that your wife has on her own are not your responsibility to support or worry about. Remember WHY you two are getting divorced.

gaidens_momma	well, it sounds like you care, and that very kind of you. But this baby is hers to deal with. If the guy leaves and doesnt have anything ot do with the baby she will just have to go after him for child support. If you decide you want to have something to do with the baby b/c it is your childrens brother or sister, that makes you a very wonderful person and the baby could always use a father fihure in their life. i have a friend and her step dad is the only dad she knows and loves but her mom and him divorced many years ago and he still cares of her b.c to him she is his daughter. Your soon to be ex wife will just need to deal with what is going on t=with this other guy on her own. she just needs to decide how she is going to take care of her child. good luck.

CityChick	You're a great guy for being concerned about her wellbeing, you obviously still care a great deal for her. However, there's a reason you decided to divorce. She's an adult and this is her situation. As harsh that sounds, it doesn't mean that you can't be there for her, you just have to remember that it's not your responisblity and just like she moved on with her life, you have to do the same. Good Luck!

Java Jive	well you have step one, you filed for divorce. this should reinforce your reason of why you should do better. as for the kids make sure all of you establish a good relationship for the growth of the kiddies

AnnieD	Don't react at all; it is no longer your problem, and you won't have to pay child support for the new child. You will, however, have to accept that the new child is a half-sibling to other children you may have from your marriage.

angelicusbeefus	Do what's BEST FOR YOUR KIDS. Feed her if she starves, clothe her if she's naked, shelter her if she's homeless. Be humane, she's moved on, and now you NEED TO MOVE ON. You sound like you still care about her, but she's an adult who made her own choices and has to live with them.

Lewis P	Do you still love her? This question is one you must ask yourself. You can't get involved in her problems just because you feel sorry for her. Unless you still love her you should stay out of it. She knew the consequences before she got pregnant and now she must take responsibility for the child and protect and raise the child regardless of her husband if he refuses to take any responsibility. Otherwise she can put the child up for adoption which would be preferable to having an abortion and possibly hurting herself physically.

philglenn	Apparently, you have issues other than her pregnancy that caused your decision to divorce. Why would you reconsider based on decisions she alone has made that certainly were not designed to bolster your family relationships.

M.D.	This chapter in your life is over with. Your only concern now is the children. Its her drama let her deal with it. Stay awy and out of it

CP_Researcher	Your divorcing her, right? Doesn't matter! Continue the divorce. If she tries to get more out of you due to the baby, just insist on paternity testing to show that it's not yours.

robs_honey	That sounds like a hard situation....i think you shouldn't be sympathetic for her, cuz she did what she did, but you should feel supportive...if she might need help, if the guy does leave tell her not to be afraid to ask, but if you don't want anything to do with her or pregnancy then just tell her that she needs her other guy to take responsibility for what he did...if he leaves her, then help her get child support from him...

Paul H	If you are divorcing her then the minute the divorce is finalized her problems are HER problems. You can help out if you want to, but if you get a new mate, how might they take it? Move on.

moronsontheweb	Grow some balls, there is a reason you are divorcing this chick. Be a man and tell her to deal with it. She is running to the weak guy because you listen, and she bangs the real man who treats her like crap. Now, which one do you want to be?

ryan c	Make sure she doesn't take advantage of you. He may leave her, and she will run back to your arms looking for help. Be careful.

mica	breathe. take each day as it comes, and everything will be okay. on the bright side, your marriage is over, right? you're single again!!

sweetlaughter434	Continue to be the great Dad that you are for your children. Do not get involved in her mixed up relationship. She made a choice and must learn to grow up and deal with it. You need to move on and find someone who appreciates you for the man that you are. Good luck.

keithnhl2004	ask your family and do what yur heart tells you to do

free_angel	Tell her she better not get any funny ideas about naming you as the father. If need be, you'll get a DNA test done and you're not about to support some loser's kid. It's not your fault this happened, you never told them to sleep around and conceive a baby.

lyn	THIS IS ALL HER CHOICE WITH WHATEVER SHE IS GOING TO DO. SOUNDS LIKE YOUR DIVORCE IS ALMOST HERE SO EITHER BE THERE FOR HER OR MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

WENDY G	If your getting a divorce you shouldn't care about this child or how your ex is going to be with or without it. Wheres your back bone?

Christopher Talener	Get the abortion, if not, you are on the hook for child support since you are still married to her. Seriously, I see too much of this in court each week, the guy gets screwed and bad.

dreamweaver67537	You are getting divorced. She has been in a relationship with someone else. This child is not yours! Worry about your children. Let her worry about her mistakes/ other pregnancies and go on with your life.

Premo Mom	Are you sure you want a divorce from her. You may want to think about it, sounds like you still love her, saying you will pick up the pieces for her. I wish you the best in what ever it is that you and your wife decide.

Cyber Stalker	Tell your attorney...the ball is in your court. Celebrate!