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Mother in Law Dramas still after 10 years! What do I do?
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Mother in Law Dramas still after 10 years! What do I do?

I hae been with my husband for 10 years now. When we first got together we were engaged within 2 months. Within the time following about 8 months into the relationship, we visited my husbands parents. She told me that I wasn't her ideal idea of a wife for her son. She expected a nice sweet little Christian girl. (To this day she still denies she ever said this). Since our relationship has got so bad that not a day goes by that I am not haunted by her belief that I am not a good enough wife. She has since having children, been so mean as to degrade my abilities as a mother. I am a Christian and want to forgive her again as I have many times but she is constant with her insults and attacks and my heart has hardened so much now that I do believe I never wish to see or speak with her ever again. She tells me that it is my problem and that it is an insecurity I have to overcome. I don't believe that I am a bad wife or mother, and am sick to death of this situation. What do I do?







Kat G
Have your husband speak to his mother. He sets the tone for how his family treats you. As a man he should not allow anyone to degrade his wife. If your family was doing this to him would you not say anything? Even if it's your mother. Your mother in law should be ashamed of herself as what right dose she have to say anyone is not good enough for anything? Who is she to judge anyone? I would just like to add that you can not forgive someone who doesn't ask for forgiveness. Your mother in law is not sorry for the way she treats you as she continues to belittle you. If she was sorry she would change her behavior.


smartypants
Rating
why in the world are you fighting with this woman? why in the world are you looking for validation from someone who doesnt know you, didnt raise you, and is an entire generation older than you, and therefore is not blessed with youth, strength, and power like you are??????/ you do you give your personal power to be happy to someone who has NO POWER????? when a comedian is doing a set in a comedy club there will always be someone who scowls and grimaces in disgust while everyone else screams with laughter and loves his act, when he becomes despondent because one person did not love his jokes, it is called 'playing to the wrong person,' or 'looking for love in all the wrong places' comedians quickly master the ability to ignore the scowlers, and, embrace the people who love them. respect her, and never ever ever argue or challenge her. dont ever rise to argue with a poor opinion of yourself given to you by her. your smile and silence will SAY IT ALL. if you, after i have written this, still think she owes you something you do have some issues here. if when your son is older he comes home after knowing a stranger for a couple weeks and tells you they are going to be married you will freak out also. understand this for once, and let it go forever. it is not meant personally to you. live your life and do not for one more second dwell on this. for you to let your entire life be held captive by the belief that you feel that this woman does not feel you are a good enuf wife, sounds nutty to me. so stop it already. your husband thinks you are great. your own family thinks you are great. your mother in law may have personal problems that have nothing to do with you and go back many years, forgive her, smile, and be free of this. she should not have this prominent place in your life.


franfifi@sbcglobal.net
It is a good thing for you to forgive your mother-in -law, but it is not good to forget . When you forget you will keep letting the same thing happen over & over. I've had a simular problen with my in-laws and to this day I haven't been able to forget it. I gave up years ago trying to get them to like me. I don't care if they like me anymore. I distanced myself from them a long time ago. I don't care what they think of me. I have caller id on my phone and I don't ans. it if I see their names on it. If my husband is home he answers the phone, if they call. If they drop by when husband is not home I don't go to the door. If they are so bold as to be rude to me I can also be rude back now. and if they don't like it they can go to hell. It was purty bad for me or I wouldn't be this way. I'm not a bad person either. But I have had enough and I won't take it anymore. I am not saying this is something you should do. But after l0 years of this kind of abuse I don't think it is going to change. What kind of relationship dose your children have with this woman. Mine didn't have any. If she is good to them then this could be another thing . They need to know their grandmother. I hope things change someday for you.


ribena
your hubby needs to cut the apron strings ime afraid ....he has to sort this out now ...i went through a simul;ar thing with a very controlling mother in law but ..i did not back down ...i feel that its a control thing on their part ...sad i know !!!but you know how good a person you are ....she doesnt sound very christian to me .........i think she is taking her !! insecurities out on you ..be strong hun xxxyou cannot please all the people all the time ..family or not x


commonsense
Rating
Tell your husband to deal with his mother and if he fails to do that then do like I did I took it to the Lord in prayer. I fully understand how you are feeling. I gained 50 pds and went into a deep depression and I have many health issues that are finally being dealt with. I stressed out so bad it wasn't funny. My husband did not want to hurt anyone's feelings especially his ex-girlfried who the family was trying to get him back with. They didn't even like her until they thought she could be the one to break up my marriage. The funny part was she didn't like my husband and broke up with him in college. Go figure. I would rather die than to treat my daughter or son-in-law in such a cruel manner. Stay away from her. I did. In the midst of all this she took ill and passed away. Though I am free now, I did try to be there for her and make amends. The ex-girlfriend was invited to the funeral. The saga ended when I let everyone know that I would knock the @**&^*%% out of her if she came near my husband. His family protected her and kept her out of my way.


Torgo
Forgiveness doesn’t imply forgetfulness. You can forgive her ignorance, but that doesn’t mean you must tolerate it. Tell her, very plainly, that you will not abide by her put-downs – that you are not in the least bit interested in hearing her opinions unless you ask for them. Your husband can visit her alone – and, what’s more, it’s HIS job to side with you and deal with these kinds of situations on your behalf: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24.


Bettee62
Rating
PRAY FOR HER AND STAY AWAY FROM HER. SHE NEEDS TO SEE A SHRINK


nursebekki82
Your HUSBAND should put an end to this! He should not allow his mother to treat you so badly. You are #1 now. I would have him talk to her. You may have already done that, considering this has been going on for a decade.


mrsmildredpierce
Rating
There's no law on the books that requires you to be around this battleaxe. Let your husband visit her on his own. Stay away - far, far away....detach from her and enjoy your life! http://www.mrsmildredpierce.com/retro


Chilling
Rating
old ppl r always like that try to stay away from her and w8 till she dies??







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