My Wife's Ex Husband Wants Full Custody of her 5 Year Old Son...Can Anyone Offer Advice?

THE Cupid HATER	Unless you know both the law and how to dramatize it, You should get a lawyer. Call the legal aid society in your local phone book! Good luck to you

susan will of the wisp	you should have a solicitor surely a child is more important than money sell some of your value ables, solicitors are not that expensive you might be able to get legal aid

Pandora	get the lawyer. don't screw around with this. chances are she will win but don't mess with this kid's life. Personally I'd get the lawyer and release the father from all finanical responsibility and visitation. You'll see if he really loves his son. Grandma's home certainly doesn't sound like a healthy environment.

jbanks5555	Plant drugs on him and call the police when he has the kid lol or you can get free consultations from many lawyers then work out a payment plan it is worth it to save your child from growing up in with the trailer park family.

goodguyhals	never go to court with out a lawyer !!! why don,t you talk to a lawyer and see if you could work out a payment deal ?? if that don,t work ask for a court appointed lawyer ???

Distance Runner	Give the kid to the person who actually gave birth to the kid. which i hope is not the ex husband. you dont need a lawyer either. just , if you can stop making him pay child support.

hazeleyedbeauty1967	This is a no brainer. He has NO job and lives with mommy and daddy. No court in the land will award custody to a bum. If I were you, go to your local court and speak to someone in family services. You may be eligible for a public defender. Good luck! :)

Stinky Pete	Find a lawyer that takes payment plans. Its hard but possible. I also urge you not to cut dad out of his life if you win. (not saying you will) Even if he isn't behaving well he is still the child's father so keep up visits.

Suburban Mom	I can't imagine either parent would get full-custody if both want it. More like they'll end up exactly where they are now, sharing joint custody. He may however get out of paying child support while he's unemployed, but if he's collecting unemployment the state may garnish that if your state does that.

silverearth1	Another way out of this would be if you where to adopt the little guy. His da would have to sign papers and would ot have to pay anymore support .And would cut him out of your lives totally with no rights and so on . Think about that option too. Other wise i suggest that yo do try to get a lawyer to help you out . Sometimes they will apoint you one by court. i also agree with Kris L

Kris L	Excuse me, but you and your wife BOTH work and have a 'nice home' ... her 'ex' is UNEMPLOYED and lives at home with his PARENTS and his two older brothers. I doubt you NEED an 'attorney' ... but unless this man is 'extremely rich' I can't think of a SINGLE judge who would award the 'ex' custody of his son ... and in fact he may 'increase the child support' and 'reduce the shared custody to 'holiday visitations' on 'alternate holidays' ... with 'supervision.' If I were your wife, I would call the 'bar association' in your area and have her ask for a 'low cost/no cost' attorney to represent HER ... you can NOT 'be involved' because you are not a parent of this child ... and her 'income' is probably 'low enough' to qualify for 'aid' in this VERY IMPORTANT matter.

loves_to_love	well, it's very hard for a guy to get custody over his kids. i tell you that now. you have a better chance than him. but start putting some money aside just incase you do need a lawyer. don't let that poor kid grow up in a bad household. you'll win i'm sure. good luck.

mewonder	He can try, but how can HE afford a lawyer with no job? Sounds like he's just throwing out some threats/fears out there to you, maybe because you both are happy and successful in love/home, and he is going backwards. He's jealous. He just wants attention. But at the same time, he may try to act on his idle threats. If you can prove he can't support the child, and he already agreed/signed on terms that he wants joint custody, there is little he can do. Only if he can prove you have done something that risks the child's safety, I don't see why the judge would side with him.

â˜†Zesteeâ˜†	Get a lawyer, he will not win. Unless the mother is unfit or unemployed and cannot care for the child, he will not get full custody.

Lovebug123	Instead of going through all that bs, try suggesting that he give up his rights to his child, that way he wont have to pay child support. If you go this way, hopefully you will adopt him. Then, the ex can have nothing to do with you guys ever again.

Metal4evr	well, you could "make the guy go away perminatly"... but make sure you dont get caught. i sudjest "putting him on vacation" on a camping trip of some kind

Zipperhead	fight to the death for your son in the legal system. Document all the stuff that goes on and get ready for the atty fees. It'll be worth it ... don't doubt it

Rebecca	I really would seek counsel on this one - there are many free legal counsel spots where someone can help you... but it might be worth it to hire a lawyer. You will win... but I would seal that deal with a lawyer to manuever the legal waterways on this one.

stacimpierce	try legal Aid scoioty on you area.

soundproof	Part of the custody hearing will be about his stability. He lives with his parents, he has no job... I'd find a lawyer who will take payments, trust me they are out there, and take him to court. No judge in their right mind would award custody to someone who is unemployed, homeless and pathetic! Don't roll over, fight this.

breeReal	just lay the facts down....tht he doesnt have a house or a job...and his home is crowded, and he is nt trying to get a job...if u tell the truth u will win...i doubt tht the judge will give the child to him unless the mom is irresposible which i doubt she is so it will b ok

ann G	u can try to talk him in to sharring custady. or ask the 5 year old who he wants to live with.

just_another_dummy	try legal aid

nurse_spratchet	Consult a good family law attorney. Your first consultation is usually free. Your state Bar Association can give you names if you don't know anybody. It beats picking somebody out of the Yellow Pages, but not by much. Good luck to you & your wife!

Jack N	ya get a lawyer.... money talks period.

'Barn	Hire a lawyer. Figure out a way to pay over time. I did and I was on my own. BUT worth it. Hire that lawyer.

brokendrew	Three words: Defamation of character. No judge is going to switch custody just because someone "asks".

rlc_60504	I wouldn't try to go to court without legal representation if the other person has legal representation.

Leah	Find a way to get a lawyer. They will work out a payment plan. This is your son's happiness and future at stake.

RedRabbit	You can fight for custody without a lawyer, especially since he can't afford one. I bet you he will lose.