My boyfriend is going to have a baby with his ex...should i go to the hospital and show him support?

welcome home	please don't be selfish. think of her not just you

~Smoochies~	DO NOT GO!! If I was the girlfriend and you showed up I would be irrate and with the drugs I was on I would probably kick your azz. Here is what you should do: wait until mom and baby go home and text message her congratulations. Then put together a care package for her and the baby and have your bf deliver it (do not invite yourself to her house). Buy some PJs for the baby and some bath soaps for the mom. Write her a little note that she should take some extra time for herself while the baby is sleeping. You need to show her that you are not just doing this to pizz her off, show her that you are trying to be kind to her. Do NOT tell her you want to help raise the baby...she does not want you to touch her baby, let alone help raise it. With time, her view of you can change into a positive one if you play your cards right. Do everything you can to keep from making her feel threatened. A mom will do whatever it takes to protect and keep her kids. She fears you will try to replace her. Let her know with time that you do not want to be her child's mommy, you just want to be a friend to the child. Good luck!

renee45840	ok this is speaking from experience the best thing for you to do is stay home. My boyfriend and i got together when his little boys mom was pregant she did not like me either said i was the reason they broke up. which im not they were broke up before i ever ment him. just be there for your b/f in sprit and in his heart. if you go to the hoptial she will probably just have you excorted out and could cause problems of her letting him see the baby. I did not go to the hosptial with my b/f out of respect for her cause of her not like me. send her a card in congrats and tell her you want to be apart of the babies life and you would treat the baby as if it were your own but would never try to take her place.

Amy	If he asks you, maybe. But to be honest that is a very special time for her. I just think that your goal should be to not add stress to the situation. It might be stressful if you are there and the family is against it. Try and put yourself in her shoes. Would you want the girl that cheated with your baby daddy there when you gave birth?

Val	I think you might want to rethink the whole decision to stay with him first of all. But to answer your question, I would say that the others are right. Going to the hospital when unwanted, is probably a bad idea. He will be spending most of his time in there with the baby anyway. You would probably be waiting out in the waiting room with her family by yourself the entire time. Let him know that you are support for him, and that you will be there when he gets home. But out of respect for her, you will have to decline being there in person. I would probably not send a gift or anything, as nice as that sounds, it is like rubbing salt on a wound for you to do that. I'm sure she doesn't want to be reminded of the fact that you are around and he cheated on her with you. I would just let it be, and just be there for him if you feel the need to do that. Maybe later on she will come around and accept the fact that you are in his life. Time is what is needed to heal this situation. I would really think about yourself though right now. He screwed up, pretty badly, and is sort of just stringing you a long for the ride. And maybe even some more heartache in the future. These types of situations always make me a little leary of his unpredictability. And faithfulness. He hasn't earned anybody's trust.

Shades	I would say that you should not go since you and her do not get along. I think respecting her wishes this time is a good idea. You don't want to cause more stress for the baby. If she is upset it could have an effect on the baby and this is a delicate time. Find another way to be supportive like helping him pick out a gift for the baby. Good luck!

pictureshygirl	As much as you want to be there for him, don't go. This girl is having his baby while at the same time he is with another girl (you). Is that not enough for her to go through? Why is it that whenever a guy cheats it is the two women that fight each other as if he is innocent in all of this? Remember, he was the one that cheated on her with you. Your decision to be with him is your business and maybe you have good reason to want to be with him. But she has good reason not to want you there. Why throw salt on the wounds she already has endured? For God's sake girl have some kind of compassion for this girl. I know she is his ex, but other than that she did not do anything wrong to you until you stole her guy. Please live life right and treat others with compassion and respect no matter who they are.

Dulce	Stay the f**k away!!! This is a very special time for her and her baby and father u have no place to be there

Star	Yikes! You home wreck a happy home, destroyed a union, messed up the child's future with both his/her parents ... LEAVE THEM ALONE!! What are you doing!? you sound like your insecure that it might be a beautiful moment (which it will be) but ur more afraid that they may link up .. ur selfish to EVEN think of "supporting" him in that way... stay out of it. You done enough.

â™¦justmeâ™¦	Stay home. Like it or not the main concern is going to be her and her comfort. If she doesn't want you around her or the baby, you won't be. The baby is going to be here forever. You have plenty of time so show your support to him and the baby. Leave the poor woman alone when she is in delivery. She has enough on her mind without having to deal with your drama. I think this is more about you wanting to be there to flaunt your presence. You are afraid this baby may bond them so you want to be around to remind everyone who is with him.

Here's your change	I think your underlying agenda is to instigate hurt and anger with the mother to be. Something tells me you'll be in this very same position yourself: Your b/f will cheat on you while you're pregnant, leave you for the other woman, and when you're ready to give birth, she'll be out in the waiting room.

Winter is coming... ah crap!	Hell no! You have NO business there. If you want to be there "for him", well, wait at home, damn... You want to be part of his babys life? Well, you still have NO business going to the hospital.. damn, you're twisted. if you go, I hope someone punches you out, you deserve it...she's having a baby! She does not want you there! You just want to go to show her you've got her man now... you're a B*tch!

â™¥â™¥CarmelDliteâ™¥â™¥	Truthfully, you would be over stepping your boundries if you go to the hosptial. This woman is having a baby with the man you basically stole from her. No matter if he slept with you or he decided to be with you.....you were technically wrong to be with him. Like another person wrote to you: You can show your support other ways then showing up at the hospital. This is THEIR time together not yours - his and hers....... And trust me - he will be back with her!! Remember he cheated on her with you....so technically he is not really your man - he is still hers. So, brace yourself now for a heartache down the line because it is bound to happen. The darn Karma is a B*tch!!

Anjie	I don't think its a good idea for you to be around his wife/girlfriend/ex especially if the two of you don't get along. Being there for him is fine, but you don't have to be in their faces with it. Being there for the baby? I don't know about that one either. Obviously, the mother will be there for the baby and him being there is only right because he's the father...but you being there is just going to make an already awkward situation even more weird. I would step back and play your position, you are the current girlfriend, not the baby's mother. Remember, your relationship is with him, not the baby or the mother. Good luck...

bradys_mommy	No. You have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to be there. This is an incredible time for his ex and it shouldn't be something else that you and your nasty boyfriend can ruin. He should be ashamed and so should you for whring around. If it were me, I'd have hospital security throw your a* out if you tried to come.

proudwifeandmom2	She is the baby mothers if she doesn't want you at the hosptiol he should respect her wishes and not bring you. Labour is hard enough on the woman without having her baby's fathers new girlfriend sticking her nose in it. You can be there for him via phone and text, but you shouldn't be at the hostpiol.

acmeraven	Take the help wanted ads with you and the paperwork to fill out for the next 18 years of child support he will be paying; plus all the medical bills for the delivery. Rembember that when you file a tax return to include the form 8370 so the IRS won't take your refund for his indebtedness. While he is sitting in the waiting room he can check for a second job in the help wanted ads section of the newspaper. Isn't love great?

Valerie (the other white meat)	oh hell no. I'm surprised she even wants HIM there. This is her day, it's going to be the best day of her entire life. Don't go and mess it up for her. You've done enough.

happytreefrog1976	You have NO business being there. Especially if she doesn't want you there. Even if you have negative feelings about her you have no right disrespecting the day her child is born. Is it possible you want to go for jealousy reasons? Be honest with yourself and think about what is really motivating you to want to go. It's not your boyfriend. It's the fact that you are left out. Your man created a life with someone else..... Stay home.... send a gift.... that's the classy thing to do.

Gypsy Red	You can't be that mean. You would actually consider going to the hospital when you broke her and her boyfriend up. Do you have any idea the pain you have already caused and you are considering causing more. She has made it clear she does not want you there and so you have absolutely no business being there. I think you want to go just to rub it in her face. Shame on you. Leave her alone. This is no place for you. Red

say it all...	NO! That's like rubbing salt in a wound. Not very nice. Step aside and let them handle this together - it will go a long way...If you want to stay in his (and hers to some extent) good graces then this is the time to step back, keep your head down and your mouth shut...

Wife&Mommy	No, you shouldnt go there. You should stay away. If she's smart then she will talk to the hospital and they will ban you from the birthing center, and if you try to go anyway they will call the cops on you. Thats what my hospital does if the mother doesnt want someone there. It sounds like you have done enough to her, at least let her have her baby without having to worry about you.

The Little Army Wife	No, she has made it clear that she does not want you there. This is her decision, not his. Yes, it's his child too, but she is the one giving birth. You being there could very easily cause her stress, thus causing the baby possible harm as well. If you truly care about your boyfriend, as well as his child, you should maintain your distance. She needs to be in top form to give birth, she doesn't need to be stressed out by you. Can't you understand that she has no desire to be around the person who stole her boyfriend? He's lucky she is even trying to include him in the birth.

prettygirl_19782004	You should not go to the hospital you are not wanted there this is her day not his I am surprised she wants him there after she has the baby I hope you know it will be a while before he actually gets to take the baby as well so if he wants to see it it will be at her house and I am sure you will be not welcome there especially since he cheated on her with you what makes you think he is not going to do the same thing to you

jude	do u have any idea the pain this woman believes u have caused her? i would not go to the hospital, its her baby, and its up to her to say if she wants u there or not. your pushing yourself on this woman,who blames u for her breakup with her.show some respect for her and stay at home.

Stacy	Don't go. This is the woman in labor's moment, not yours. (Sorry if that's harsh, but you'll understand if and when you have children.) Your bf will just have to do this alone.

Wailea	You can support your boyfriend in other ways besides going to the hospital. If you want to have a relationship with the baby you're going to have to be respectful and sensitive to the mother.

missmojo78	Going to the hospital would be extremely disrespectful to his ex. I don't think you should go. Its fine to be supportive and help take care of the baby when he has visitation. It's a very very stressful and happy time when you are delivering. I think her family and her will confront you and tell you to leave if you do go. This would cause more problems with the whole situation. Stay home, congratulate him and see the baby at another time.

doing my best	hell no! you are being selfish! let him go see HIS baby! if i was the mother i would get out of that hospital bed and kick your *** if you showed up.

TeamMinions	Why be with a cheater? He left you to go back with her (which he obviously slept with) Why waste both your time and body on such a loser? Leave him and move on.