My boyfriend won't marry me!!....

Zen.Frank.	You definitely need to talk to him about it, get him to open up on the issue. Completely open communication is important in any relationship, but is espicially important on an issue thats as big as marriage!

ilalaloveyouu	i think he is making perfect sense i mean whats the rush you already have a kid you can wait as long as you can my parents got married when i was 7 n my brother was 2 ?

Jacqueline H	Maybe he's afraid of actually having a REAL family? Because usually in REAL families the parents tend to fight. A lot. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkR000Aq7nvjoGyUWjf8_x_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080804101359AApmDBu

Roisin Dubh	You shouldn't rush things.....it could end badly, I know it's ruff but I rushed things and now I am going through a divorce. He just wants stability, it seems as if he is tryin to do the right thing by you, just know that he loves you.

sambina2	He might want to have a stable house and stuff before he gets married OR maybe you aren't the one - it is possible that you aren't the one and he will meet the one so for now he is just biding his time with you.

Megan M	well maybe he wants to enjoy life before he gets married. maybe he needs more time to enjoy life before marriage life and committing to someone he loves. you know he loves you if you have a baby on the way. slow down. dont take things too fast!!!

vernathome	Oh Oh I know ...because you did not buy a home yet, This is simple math if he marries you and you buy a house together then when he messes it up you divorce you get the house, so he is just planning for the future.

Lolly	because he is not ready too, i would quit while your ahead, dont waste time with him anymore, you have given him everything, but he is not prepared to commit to you. CUT YOUR LOSES AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL< MARRY YOU . DONT WASTE UR LIFE!!! If this is something that you want or yearn!!

Chrysanteum	Well for self experience if you don't want to marry it's because you are hoping to having someone else in not a so far future... I would never marry because that implies that I have to be with that person for ever. And that doesn't seem nice!

JM	well you guys live together and already have a child so maybe he thinks all marriage is, is a piece of paper. you guys already have a life together so it may not be important to him. i would tell him how important it is to you! even try proposing to him

HealthNut	Did you ever speak to him and express your concerns on why he wont marry you ? He may just have cold feet. Ask me if something is bothering him and express how much you want to be his wife perhaps, have a serious talk and find out why he wants to wait. hope that helps :)

edgy;ove	Maybe he's afraid of commitment or just waiting for something better to come. Marriage doesn't neccessarily mean buying a new house in a cushy suburb. In fact if he really wanted to keep it traditional he should have married you when he knocked you up.

Mr.HATE	I don't blame him, I wouldn't marry you either. But then, of coarse, I'd be dang sure you never have any offspring of mine too. I don't see anything wrong here except that you are trying to PUSH him into something he does not feel comfortable with for whatever reason or reasons. Stop pestering and being a bother.

Allie	But he is right. There is no rush to get married. Take your time! Even if you feel like your settled down and everything. Don't push yourself to get married so quickly. Wait a while until your BOTH ready to make that commitment. But if you feel like there are other reasons why he doesn't want to get married, then talk to him about it. Hope this helps.

sweetpea	Because why should he? I mean, he has all the "benefits" of marriage and not much of a commitment. Perhaps you should get your life together, get a job that can support you and your child and go on your way. He feels no real commitment to you and probably figures why should he get in deeper.

Julie R	maybe because marrige is soo official, its so permanent. once you get married theres so much responsibility, theres no time for yourself anymore... you can still be happy withought being married too... so this way if things go wrong you don't have to sign papers or go through lawyers and that.

happy_camper	my belief is ... why marry and commit when he can have a "wife" without all the responsibility. also when there is a child.. all the more reason to get married.. a child needs mom and dad and it helps if they all have the same last name...look he has someone to take care of his everyday needs and also his child... he works and provides a house.. big deal ,he would work and have a place to live anyway.. there is nothing to help keep ya'll together and bonded.... you are doing all the things a "wife" does,, and only getting credit for being his live in girlfriend and baby-momma.... he says after a house then he will marry you... what is that ????? what could be the reason behind that?? no reason.... just an answer to keep you hanging on for the day he surprizes you with a house and a picket fence??? do you know if ya'll are saving any money toward a house??? there are many a married couple that live in an apartment... and they have kids too.... he needs to get real with himself and with you......

Meggen F	sounds like he still needs time... or some growing up to do.. it sounds like he doesn't feel that marriage is important.. but it obviously is to you. and haveing a daughter together is even a bigger reason to get married (F**K the house?!) (tax purposes, and so that he doesn't have to legally pay child support.. ) Gosh. I'm sorry, yo. that sounds very frustrating, and i hope you can get it figured out.

Empress of Everything	I would say it is because he feel comfortable with the current situation & sees no advantage to getting married. He has you & a lovely baby & maybe he feels that things couldn't possibly be better. Just calmly discuss it with him, let him know how important getting married is to you. Perhaps you both can work together to set a time frame for getting married & buying a home. Good luck!

Mr Economist	Maybe he feels scared of letting you down when he is married to you. You mentioned that he says you can both get married when he buys a house. Maybe he feels that if he marries you before you are both established, things might go wrong. That's what I would guess, but I could be wrong. You should talk to him, though. Ask him what his intentions are, and let him know how you feel. If you both talk, maybe you can both reach a compromise.

Jes G	Yikes. I never can understand guys like this. A few of my friends have been in relationships where the guys doesn't want to get married, but has no problem being in a relationship, buying a house or having a baby. I really don't understand what the difference is. This is probably a question you will need to answer for yourself. If getting married is very important to you and he stands his ground that he does not want to get married, then maybe you should start dating other people.

tone	This is a cry many women use after they move in, have a child and the man won't marry them. Many men do not see the need for marriage (many women too). Faithfullness does not increase with marriage, I do not mean to lecture, but you should have discussed this prior to moving in and prior to having child. He obviously does not plan to get married to you. Ask him when you can get house and see what he says, then you may have more answers to your questions.

Butters	I have been dating my b/f for almost five years and we have lived together over three of those years. We even moved out of our hometown to a large city together, and we are still doing great. We don't have any children. I always thought if we I got pregnant then we would definitely get married. But I do want to get married before that happens. We both were in agreement in the first three years that neither one of us wanted to get married soon or have children until later. However, we have been discussing getting married a lot lately. But we never actually go and just do it. So I know how you feel. When you get married, then it is established that the two of you are a real couple who want to share each others lives together for as long as you both shall live. I know you want to make it right and he should to. So I would ask him why he gets cold feet about the issue. He may not be the one if he never wants to marry you unless you just want to be his "girlfriend" for several more years until you get fed up with it. Hope this helps. The only one who can resolve this issue is you. You have to talk to him about your feelings. Good luck!

Patricia B	Boys are always afraid of marriage. Don't force him into it. Better to have a good dating relationship than a horrible marriage because he didn't want to marry you. There are a lot of couples out there who have been "Dating" for 20+ years and never felt the need to get married. Are his parents married? Have his friends had bad marriages? All of these things could be a factor as to his opinion of marriage.

Julie H	He doesn't want to marry you because you are already playing "wife and mother" without the benefit of marriage. This way, he can walk away whenever it gets to be too much work, or if you gain weight, or if he meets another woman, or if his friends want him to move to Las Vegas, or whatever. He isn't committed to the relationship so don't have any more kids with him please for their sake. I'm sure he tells you he likes life just like it is now. Why ruin it with marriage? Right?

Tryna-Hyde	i don't know why he doesn't want to marry you right now, but in my experience, you should trust him and respect his space. if you push or rush him into marriage - it will be a very bumpy ride on a long, dark windy road without cell phones or AAA. you had a baby, and now you want a family. white house, pickett fence, 2.5 kids, hubby and a dog. now you see the real world doesn't work like we imagine it should. take your time. the two of you have a child together - you will ALWAYS be in eachothers' lives. you have plenty of time. good luck.

K.I.S.S.	I know several couples who have put off getting married until a large portion of their mortgage is paid off. I think that he probably is very concerned about money and so that makes sense to worry about that first. Marriage is definitely important, but so is a house so look into that and the cost first! Weddings are also expensive so he probably wants to know how much you guys can spend.

Millie	Maybe he is feeling pressured, marriage is a big step. You say you have a little baby girl and maybe at the moment he want's to focus on just you and your new baby. He also may feel that you are perfect as you are and that you don't need to be married to show your love to each other. He also may not be aware of how much it means to you. Why don't you talk to him about where you see your relationship going.

Mr. Taco	How would we know why he won't marry you? Maybe he doesn't really believe in marriage. Maybe he's afraid of commitment. Maybe he's afraid it will change things. Maybe he likes having the option of backing out of the relationship. Only he knows. I highly, highly recommend that you make an appointment with a couples's counselor right away and ask him to go. If you want to get married and he does not, then that is a serious issue that you two MUST resolve if you have a baby together. A counselor can help. Think about it this way: you need to protect your child. Making sure this guy is committed to you is the first step in securing your child's rights to a good family life and the support you both deserve. If this guy isn't willing to take the plunge, maybe he doesn't really want to be a dad. Then it may be time to break it off and find someone else- just make sure you call an attorney and make sure your boyfriend pays child support. If he didn't want to marry you, he shouldn't have had a kid with you. Period. Good luck!

Gee	He won't marry you because he doesn't WANT to be married. Why should he get married? He has a kid, a pseudo wife that he isn't obligated to & if he gets tired of you he won't have any "guilt" about dropping you like a bad habit (after all, he didn't promise you anything). Likewise, there are no legal consequences to him (beyond child support) if he does want to return to his single life. The "home" thing is a cop out (an mammoth pile of stinking poop). Of course you knew this beforehand right..right? You didn't really buy into this "shacking up ='s being married", this is new age kind of marriage B.S. Bottom line, you aren't getting any younger. If you want a husband (lifetime committment) than you have to do something about it. You can sit in this relationship for another 5 years "waiting" for something that will never come in you like or you can be a bit pro-active. Try this one..fill out a child support order, get a job, move out and live a lone. You can "date" him until such time as he decides he DOES want to be married or you find someone else.