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My girlfriend (soon to be wife) makes way more money than me and I feel insecure?
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My girlfriend (soon to be wife) makes way more money than me and I feel insecure?

I work at a hardware store. I met my girlfriend while she was in school. Now she is a Lawyer and a Harvard graduate who is working her way up to being very high profile. As a young Lawyer she already makes way more money then I've ever made..and the attention she gets makes me jealous.

I am very insecure about this; I feel that my accomplishments will never ever equal hers. I am very proud of her and she is gorgeous. I have helped her through school (cooking, long hours, chores, emotional support) but now I feel drained and the big salary difference will be the icing on the insecurity cake.

The thought of marrying her makes me feel happy, however the idea of the prenup and all the money issues freak me out. How we will share payments and investments really boggles my mind. Can you advise me on how to deal with my huge insecurity and money issues?







LCC
Rating
I went through this a couple years ago with my ex... she was making double what I made and it got me jealous. Now times have turned and even though I'm not with my ex anymore, we still hang out and she's making roughly $6 an hour less than me. She's a Marketing intern and I work in IT for a City government. I don't make anywhere near a Harvard lawyer's salary but still, the jealousy has disappeared.

My advice, all you can do is talk to her, explain how you feel insecure. Explain how you love her and support her endeavors but you just want her to know this up front, like how you want to provide for her and stuff. If she is a good woman she will console you and say something to the effect of "it doesn't matter." Ask her for suggestions on how you can cope with this at that point. Follow her suggestions.

Aside from that I'm not sure. If she reacts in a "non-good woman" way, then honestly your relationship might not last because of this. Sorry to be blunt.


Paradisio
make more money.


MamaLuna
Rating
We all have qualities to contribute to relationships...money is in no way the most important!


worn out Mom
If she wants a prenup then she's not the one for you... You marry someone for better or for worse. ..


Marilyn
Rating
she is young
and hasn't met the mature, sophisticated, male attorneys out there.
if you attend parties with her colleagues what are you going to talk about?


r m
prenup - what was yours before marriage remains yours.. after marriage, 50/50. now about your salary.. ar eyou in competition with your wife? or in partnership? who gives a rats @ss about what family tells you you should be doing as "da man"? bugger them.. if you truly love her, celebrate and share her success with her. happiness and contentment is not in the paycheque, its in the heart and emotional support and respect you give each other.

if you feel jealous of the "attention" she gets in her job, just remember who the lucky man is she chooses to come home to and sleep naked with every night.


Jamie
Rating
if I was your girl, I'd tell you, "babe don't worry or even think that way. Because I could be with someone else if I wanted to, you should feel more loved that I choose you. I'm lucky to have you and you offer me what I can't get from any other guy."







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