My husband and I are separated, he said he would move back if I lost 20 pounds.?

Animal	If this was tied in with both of you to lose weight and to use that as a conduet to create change to spark up the marriage then I would say work on it. He sounds like a pig just to make that demand and gives a hint that his motivations may be more physically driven which isn't a way to carry a marriage. If he doesn't have a good excuse why he wants you to lose weight I say divorce him.....and no, "so you would look better/I would feel more attracted to you" isn't good reason.

teacherintheroom	157lbs for someone your height is hardly a weight problem. (ask your doctor) You say that your weight has always been an issue...for WHO? Him or you? If the basis for your marriage is YOUR weight then THAT is the real problem. If HE was serious about working on your marriage, he wouldn't have "run away" because HE thinks you carry a few extra pounds. I would tell him that if HE is really serious about working on the marriage, then while you're at the gym getting physically fit, he should be at the marriage counselor's office figuring out why your weight is such and issue for him!

ladylady4470	Honey if you lose more weight for this man just to get him to come home. What will he use next? Your hair is to long you don't keep clean enough house? You chew your food wrong? Come on honey you are better then that. You have come so far and lost a lot of weight already and that is wonderful. Now lose the 150lb man in your life and go out and have some fun.

caleyhighlander	The question you should be asking is why is your weight such an issue to him ? He should love and want you no matter how you look. The only time you should want to loose weight is for medical reasons ie excess weight can lead to heart problems or Diabetes etc Love yourself first then you will see if your husband is right or wrong.

ANTHONY B	YOU WENT FROM 193 TO 157. THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO WOULD DIE FOR YOUR SECRET. YOUR HUSBAND IS BEING A SELF CENTERED, CONTROLLING, BUTT GOBLIN. IF HE WANTS TO LEAVE LET HIM. HE IS THE ONE GOING BACK ON HIS VOW "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH". LET HIM FIND ANOTHER WOMAN THAT'S GOING TO PUT UP WITH THAT ATTITUDE, AND FIND YOURSELF A BETTER MAN. SERIOUSLY!!!!

sistermariepigtailedpirate	I'm sure more problems exist between you two than any issues he has with your weight. That said, I think the first thing you need to do is ask yourself whether or not you love this person now, as he is right now. He has decided that an arbitrary number is more important than everything else about you, which I find entirely offensive. Changing your appearance won't prove that you're serious about working on your marriage any more than walkihg out of the house the way he did proves it. It will only prove that you'll meet any goal he sets in changing yourself to keep him. Prove you're serious about improving yourself in a way that affects the marriage by getting yourelf in to a marriage counselor, even if it's on your own. Personally, I think this man would be great at raising bulimic or anorexic daughters.

Kalamazoo Mark	You should divorce him, lose the weight (if you want to), and find someone who loves you for who you are and treats you right. When your ex sees how good and happy you look, that'll be a suitable payback for the way he is making you feel now. Good luck.

bobsee8	Who cares how much a person weighs when love is involved. He needs to grow up. If a man loves a women, he isn,t concerned on the outside ,but whats on the inside that counts. If hes so concerned on outside appearence then he ain,t worth your time. He needs to get a life. Who told him that hes mr. america anyway. He should be happy with what he has and come crawling back asking for forgiveness.

dwhelper	If your husband's committment and fidelity are dependent upon your physical "perfection", you are married to the wrong man.

dils_b	i dont know kno y u put ure life story on the internet and this isnt the kind of thing u want people knowin. also ure gna get answers from people u dnt even kno bit stupid i tink u shuld divorce him anyway

My Evil Twin	Ok, so you lose 25 lbs. What's next? Will he want you to see a plastic surgeon as you age to get rid of those offensive wrinkles or perk up that sagging rack? He sounds like a very shallow person. Lose the weight if you want to, but do it for yourself not for him. Many people have weight issues, and beauty fades away. True love means loving the spirit inside the body, not just the body itself.

buster	Tell him to kiss your chubby booty! Lose it or not, but lose him!

ralos2k3	you should never have to change yourself for any guy, unless you want to. I would consider leaving him permanently. It all matter what you want to do.

kathyw	If you are content to be married to someone who always attaches conditions to loving you (it's not so unusual, some conditions are necessary, as in asking an alcoholic to stop drinking), then just do it - lose the weight. If your weight seems like a superficial issue, then don't. Find someone who will love you the way you look now. Then, when you are with the new person, lose the weight - for YOU - and drive your ex-husband crazy!

biffieboybaby	you can loose a lot of weight very fast, change the locks and loose him,,,,,don't be bullied by any man his not worth it he should love you whatever size you are, dump the looser,

â™¥Chr!$t!n@â™¥	For better or for worse ..........................that shouldnt be a concern if he loves u . Thats not right its like black mailing u . I wouldnt do it for him do it for yourself if thats what u really want to do. Hes acting like a little boy who wants his way!!

alangj91761	so what you are saying is your little boy husband only wants to stay w you if u lose more weight? don't you see how immature he is? he leaves you because your a bit over weight! come on! dont be naive, hes seeing other women! no matter what he says or what you think! you married a little boy in a mans body,

Angelic Valentine	He married you for you, not your looks. And if you have lost that much already, then you should not be required to lose more. That is shallow of him to ask you to do so. He isnt worth being with, I would divorce him. It doesn't prove that you will be willing to work on the marriage bc if you two are separated, there were more issues other than your weight. He doesn't deserve you. That is just rediculous. You are at a good weight and should not lose any more anyway. I would tell him flat out to go to hell. Think about this as well. If you came up with a medical condition in which would not allow you to lose weight, but make you gain it instead, and you were with him, do you think he would leave you again? I mean c'mon some things you cannot do anything about and I do not believe that he would be there to support you if anything like that happened.

patstovan	thats shallow of him to ask you to do something like that. i would hope that he married you for other things than your weight. but i admit, its the sterotypes today which cause these problems. women have lots of pressure to look good these days.

I Bleed Black & Gold	he should love you no matter what.lose him!

all8upchamp	lose the weight, BUT, do it for you. then find a new guy that isn't an idiot.

reclused1	Lose about 200 pounds of useless garbage..HIM! Don't allow him to manipulate you like that. He is not worth the effort. Find a man that loves you...just the way you are!!

shivers	Let him go. If he's going to be so shallow to end it over something as trivial as your weight, you don't want him anyways.

Ali	I would divorce him. If your appearance is really hanging on your relationship's future, than you should reconsider spending your life with him