My husband and I have had problems for our entire marriage because of the interference his ex wife?

KIMERLEY c	well i would really like to talk about your love life but it is too long and by the way what are yoou trying to prove with your husband ex i think you need to find a doctor

Silly World	You are your own worst enemy You will not change her or him, you can only change you He has a responsibility to the first family, Relax, don't nag, be supportive, if you can't do that then get out and find a good single guy with no kids, who wants to have yours (good luck) What you want isn't on the menu!! Why do guys commit this kind of stupidity, don't they learn the first time

TexanNFLGirl	I had the same problem with my husbands' ex wife. It seems as if there was never a close door between the two (which they had kids also). Finally, I had enough and told him if he did not tell her to mind her own business and interfering with our life that I would be leaving. He told her (in front of me), but that was just like talking to the walls. She kept on doing her little dirt, using him thru the kids......she was very miserable and angry about something (I had nothing to do with it). Well the make a long story short, after he passed, she just freely moved on, like she was so happy that he was gone. I assume the door had been closed for her. She finally got a boyfriend and still has him, as before she would run the other ones off because everything came out of her mouth to them pertained to my husband. Your husband's ex seem to be a psycho and a thorn in your side that can never be pulled out. Until he put both of his feet down, you two will forever have problems with her, because she thinks that he still owes her, I guess for their two children (women are so ignorant). Eventually, I had to tell her myself because she was not listening to him, so you may have to do the same thing or you just may have to show him better than you can tell him and move on until he can control her a little more.

Clays mom	bad problems .. alot of ex seem to think their ex should still have to be a major provider to keep themselves up. It is one thing to pay child support but to go to court over 150.00?? sounds petty. Is this daughter both of yours or just yours. She is the main thing you need to worry about. He is lying to you because he is trying to avoid problems with you, which in the long run will blow up in his face. You need to think about your daughter what will be best for her.

Lunaeclipz	Sounds like she has too much control over him-make him choose-you or her-then cut her off except for what is court ordered

Bobby G	He has to be on your side. She is going to do anything she can to manipulate the marriage. He needs to stand in front of both of you and tell his ex wife that you come first and that she needs to allow the children to have scheduled visits with your husband. This woman shouldn't be alone with your husband. She should drop the kids off and go. As for your daughter she doesn't deserve this kind of life. Besides that 900.00 of your money going out the door for an inappreciative woman! I understand that she needs money too, but maybe you both married a man that just doesn't have the finances to support 2 families> You can probably do better and do it while your young enough and still can!

sarah B	you need to talk with your husband about the unrelated phone calls.. maybe you need to start speaking up about how much she is involved in your relationship.. something needs to be done and it needs to be done now... good luck...SB

Bill	You can't change him, and he doesn't want to change. Do you want to put up with it? It's not her that's the problem, HE isn't fulfilling his marital duty to you. If you do, stay. If not, go.

vixxen	Face it..Obviously they are never going to be at a good place. No matter what, he is always going to be in contact with the ex-wife. His finances are ultimately yours. This will never change. So whatever trouble his freakin ex wife wants to stir up, it is always going to get in between you and him. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide whether or not to take it anymore. If I had to break a promise to MY daughter for HIS dumb a$$ ex... I would have filed for divorce YESTERDAY!

beanunit	http://www.innerbonding.com this website has helped me greatly. read all the articles, and perhaps there is always hope left.

Mac	there does need to be contact for the kids communication but it depends what they are talking about when she calls.any normal guy wants to have the least amount of contact with an ex as possible.sounds more like he doesn't have a spine and is afraid to make waves with her and she sounds like a *****.

Green Tea Turtle Baby	It is time to leave when you are no longer happy or feel you are being disrespected. Your husband should love you and not lie to you.

luvmykids	Just call it quits. He is going to keep lying to you. My sister wasin this situation and got out. She is so much happier now. You don't need this mess, it is just not worth it. It will never end, it will continue even after these kids are 18. Good Luck!!

Racist Answer Man	You don't have a problem with the ex-wife. You have a problem with your husband.

dizzeeone	I would bet my last dollar that this is one of the reasons "God Hates Divorce"

sfcgijill	The problem here isn't that she is interfering in your marriage- the problem is that you and your hubby are not on the same team. But I guess you have figured that out by now, right? She isn't going to go away unless HE makes her. He isn't going to make her go away unless HE wants her to. He doesn't want her to because, on some level, she is providing him with a benefit. That benefit might be contact with his children, or it might be that he never really got over their breakup and he wants contact with her. Rather than breaking up your marriage, first try separating your finances. He pays his bills, you pay yours. You divide the household bills evenly. It wouldn't hurt to look at what you would plan to do if you did break up- for instance, if you plan to keep the house, you would keep the house payment, so that would be one of the bills you would pay. The benefit of separating the finances is this: you don't have to break any more promises to your daughter or go without things that are needed in the household, and he gets to see first hand just how much money the ex is draining from him. Don't give him any money at all- if he has to go without gas in his car because he gave her money, well, that's on him. And in the long run, if you decide that three really is too many in your marriage, you will have already done most of the hard part (the money is always the hard part in a divorce). If you decide to stay together, then you can think long and hard about whether combined finances is something you want to do. Remember- HE is liable for the child support, YOU are not. She doesn't get to benefit from your hard work.

Deb W	It doesn't seem that you are getting much out of this marriage. If you tally up a list of pros and cons in regard to your relationship, and come up with more "cons" than "pros", then it is time to end the marriage and find a better life for you & your child.

Imaka	It sounds like your husband is the problem. He is letting this happen. If you have already discussed how you feel with him, you are running out of options. Either you decide to stay in an unhappy marriage, or you leave and give him some time to think about what he wants and see if he can change. He has to want to change - you cannot talk him into it.

redunicorn	Sounds like you have no choice but to leave him.

Rachel S	you might consider talking to the Ex and leveling with her about this. If that's not an option, I'd divorce him. You shouldn't waste your life living like that

heartsarebad	I think that you were unrealistic when you married him. He already had kids. He already had an ex. He already had a financial streicken life. Did you think you were going to add to his life and take away the money problems and all of the issues he had with the family he abandoned? What can you do for this man? What can you take away from him? Are you a liability or an assett?

Nertil H	How can you stay anymore with him.These kind of guys just keep lying and lying to womens because they don't care.They think marriage is something fun and cheating to their wives is nothing.IF i were you,i would leave him as soon as possible.that's the best thing to do for these kind of guys,forget him,move on with your life,and get a serious relationship,this dosen't look like a marriage at all. this is what i think

Shortstuff13	You may want to consider a legal seperation for a while. Ex wives can sometimes be the current wife's worst nightmare. Your husband needs to stop lying to you about contact with the ex. That's how trust in a mate can be crushed. The intereference from his ex will continue until your husband puts her in her place. In the meantime, she'll be a thorn in your side. You shouldn't ever feel like a third wheel in this situation. Don't let any woman make you feel this way or your husband. Stand firm on your own two feet & don't put up with his crap or hers.

starbrite.	i WON'T DECIDE FOR YOU.you know what you need to do to find happiness.NO one on answer can tell you what you need to do.it's not just you,you have a daughter to think about.

drakke1	Have you ever noticed that while there are 5 Billion people on the planet, there are only about 10 different major dramas: one of them being the "ex wife interfering drama"? She is very busy being the average unconscious, clueless human. This very likely will never change. And, the liklihood of your husband changing is also miniscule. Humans usually require counseling to recognize their "issues" and to make the appropriate "corrections". Dysfunction is very common among humans, especially when they don't get their "way". You have two main choices: Get used to it, or treat your relationship as just one of many learning experiences, and move on. Surprisingly, while moving on is painful, it is far less so than endless, absurd drama. Good luck :))

LG	I would leave him. Who needs the stress. If your entire marriage has been a mess then tell him you want a divorce. Do you want to live the rest of your life dealing with his ex and the kids? Good luck. I know this is a tough situation because you love him, but time will heal your broken heart. The ex and the kids will be there until the kids are old enough to be on their own.

Gordon M	whent through the same problems myself until i realised that i had to start saying no to my ex wife without feeling guilty it seems to me that she realises that she can pull the strings and play on his emotions tell him to wake up to hiself and see what she is doing to your relantionship i did and have never looked back

can't get along	he is in control of the drama!!!! I am sorry you are going through it. She has no boundaries because he has set none. I dont want to tell you to leave because it solves nothing. Have you all considered a marriage mediator?