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My husband cheated on me and now wants me to forgive and forget, should I divorce or deal with it?
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My husband cheated on me and now wants me to forgive and forget, should I divorce or deal with it?

I had just had our son three months prior when I found several adult profiles online, girls numbers, and date plans he had made with them also. He still continues to see other women, but lies and says that they are "just friends", and we've since then seperated. I don't know what to believe because I'm constantly catching him in lies, both big and small. What should I do?







Sunshine
Been there..done that..My advice to you is to move on..My ex was just like you husband..That's why he is now my ex..I tried to stay in the marriage and work it out because of my kids...He gave me his word it would never happen again.But once a cheat always a cheat..He started back to his old ways within 2 months. I am now married to a wonderful man and he loves my kids as his own...There is life after divorce.. don't waste your time on that loser..


singer
If he is truly saying "Forgive and forget", then I would just forget... him! There is no such thing as forgiving and forgetting. There IS such a thing as doing the work together necessary and preparatory to forgiving each other. 'Forgive and forget' - if that's all he's saying - is just code for "I just want to continue to use you, and I don't want any of your squaking about it." It's too easy for him. Particularly if you say that he continues to see other women, even when you are separated. If he wished to prove his intention of wanting to really get back with you, he would already have cleaned up his act and be taking action to show you that you are the one for him. As it is, he is still showing you that you are way down on his list of priorities.
If you wish to try to repair the marriage (and that's a good thing to do since children are so effected by divorce), I'd tell him that the cost of you opening your door even a little to him is that you'd both go to good marriage counseling together (and you'd need to find a GOOD therapist), and that he'd commit to really trying to repair the damage to the marriage. If he says no to that, I'd close the door to him permanently. He is NOT going to change.


Loss Leader
Consider this: He knows you know. He knows you can tell when he's lying. He knows what's at stake. And yet he still does it.

You need ask yourself only one question - Are you better off staying with him and having him cheat or are you better off without him and having him cheat? Because him being faithful will not happen. All you have control over is yourself; you can't make him not cheat.

If you think you deserve someone who is faithful to you, keep this guy out of your life. Otherwise, enjoy your marriage knowing that he will be seeing other women.


my two cents
Rating
Well...unless you WANT to be miserable the rest of your life...I'd say get a divorce and find someone else.


tortured in toledo
Rating
Thats a decision only you can make. My wife cheated on me but I loved her so much that I was willing to go to counseling and work out our problems. It happened a second time years later and that was proof that she wasn't serious about the relationship. Hasta la bye bye!!


Leah
Rating
Get some marriage counseling before you make any descisions. When he goes to visit, ask him if you can come along to meet his "friend". If he goes behind your back, it's time to divorce him.







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