My husband has cheated on me. What now?

May_May	I would probably file for divorce. once someone has betrayed your trust on that level, your relationship will never be the same. It will hurt alot, but I think the best thing for YOU is to cut him off. Now he isn't going to like it, but WHO CARES. He should have not done WHO he did.

floridaman39us	no, give him a second chance. he probably feels guilty about it. If he cheats again, then you can divorce him. But dont divorce him over this one indiscretion. He just wanted a taste of the forbidden fruit. Forgive him. Besides, David in the bible had many wives and concubines. He just wanted a concubine, thats all.

andyramvzb	No one can tell you what to do it is up to you but you should leave him

jude	unfortunatly cheating is something one can never get past,or forget. seems to mark the end of the innocence of a marriage. without trust there is nothing, the love and trust we once knew we could count on is over. sometimes atleast in my case, it was much easier to get my heart broken once, and be done with it, than invest anymore into it, and wait for him to do it again, if he didn't love me enough to walk away from her when it happened than how could i believe she wouldn't lure him back in. so it's best to just move on with someone else and know the pain is behind u.

Anilop	Girl, it's hard to trust after an affair. It happened to me and it's been over a year , we are still together but there is no trust and it's hell. It would be easy for me to tell you to leave but it's easier said than done. Good Luck!! Listen to your heart....

pshaytel	Very tough question, give yourself time, get over the first reactions and then think calmly - can you live with knowing that he cheated on you? Will you be able to trust his answer that he wont cheat again? if not then there is no other way than divorce, otherwise you can both put it behind and go on in the marriage. If he does it again - don't think twice, he is not worth it, just leave him

xovenusxo	Go to counseling if you still love him....have him go with you. If not, dump him and find someone worth it

Aussie male	Was he drunk

WhyNotMe	Follow your heart

iyamacog	Try counseling first. YOU are the only one who can make that decision.

schoolot	You can only do what your heart tells you to do.

mrlovenbd	I hate to say this, but if you cant find it in your heart to forgive him then you know the answer. It's going to be hard, and you have to be strong, but you dont deserve that. I hope you the best of luck in life.

DharmaAgent	If you can't trust him anymore, then you might as well file for divorce.

veronica c	Giver yourself time and space from him, to be able to make a rational decision. I would suggest a marriage counsel er, then if after awhile you can see that "time" won't heal your broken heart, leave him. At least you can say you tried. Because if you don't at least give it a try, if he is truly sorry, then you may always wonder what could have been. I believe if it only happened once, and he is truly sorry, then he deserves a second chance. We are all human, and after all humans do make "mistakes". Good Luck to you. I am sorry you are suffering from a broken heart.

emotional blonde	Ask yourself this question.....Do I deserve better than this? If you have no trust in your marriage, then, you already don't have a marriage sweetie. I feel for you. I too have been in the same situation. I could not make myself lie in bed at night with a man that I could not trust. If it is deep in your soul and you can not forgive him, then do not make your life any more miserable. YOU deserve happiness. It will take time, but I promise you... it will come. Good luck to you and whatever you decide. Please do not let others tell you what is in your own heart. Trust yourself!

lidakamo	if you don't think you can forgive him or trust him ever again i would file for divorce. why should you stick it out if you know you will not be able to forgive him? if you still love him though, i would suggest you both give it a try and go to counseling. but whatever you do if you do decide to stick it out you have to let it be. don't constantly throw it in front of him every time you get in a fight. good luck and god bless

Royalhinney	If you feel that you will never forgive him and his infidelity is something that you just can't live with, then yes, file. Why would you want to stay in a marriage with no trust?

HereweGO	Only you can answer that question. Some people can get over it and move on and some can't. Trust may come back in time but you both have to be willing to work for it. Good luck.

smiley	yes if you will never trust him again,but you do have to forgive him for yourself. To have a healthy relationship to come you must be free and heal from this situation. It will be hard you will still have anger but sin not pray and ask the lord to help you. I believe if you stay with him you will always accuse him of something even if he is not doing anythingat that time that can be stressful on both of your parts. Holding anger will make you ill in so many ways please try to forgive him and go on with your life God bless you

HM	If you fell that love still exists, try mending fence; otherwise leave him

...........	just like somone said earlier u can do only what your heard tells you to do if u can leave him if not dont but if u know for shore that he cheated on you and u have strong fellings for him and u cant leave him do ur self a faver and cheat right back on him , ull feel much better good luck

KokoCutie272006	If you feel that you will never be able to trust him again then what would be the point in staying together? Trust is everything...File for divorce.

STORMY K	if he did it once he will do it again...trust is a hard thing to rebuild

A Proud Marine's Daughter	that hurts real bad but honestly after 10 years if he has just now done this he probably is not done. he has taste and yearning for something new. sorry girl he might be bored and tired of what he is used to or never got the chance to play at all so now he is trying to explore... its easy to say and hard to do but you gotta leave him because it will hurt more to stay and keep getting hurt. time heals all wounds... but only if the wound is already done and not consistently happening!!!!

frustrated	That answer has to come from your own heart, but I can tell you this , it will never be the same and you will always resent him for what he did to you. You can stay married and maybe you're relationship will be better, but I'm guessing it will remain an open wound for you.

up2sumpthun	If you can not forgive him and believe you will never trust him then what would be the point in staying with him???

ina W	Sure, if one mistake was all it took to make you decided to quit, then you couldn't have loved him much anyway. And was that perhaps the reason why he has strayed in the first place? Seriously, Susan, if you still love your husband you should forgive him. I know it's easier said than done, but he is regretting it. Give him a chance. Learn to trust him again. Talk to him about it. And once you've decided to forgive him, put it behind you. If you want to know it or not, you're actually lucky. Many husbands cheat on their wives constantly. Your's is a one-timer, appreciate at least this fact!