My husband has just left me......now what?

AllPurpose	I went through this before. I would suggest thinking about what to do if he doesn't come back. If he doesn't I'd love to make you "feel" better. I am sure that he is feeling better with someone else. Sorry so blunt.

Specialist	You need to move on with your life. He may change his mind in the future and realize what he lost, but that is your decision on whether to take him back or not. YOu need to call all your closest friends and go out and have fun

oh_jo123	move on without him he has left you and that means you are entitled to the house and car but also the bills do what you need to do to MOVE on without him

.....	he's with someone else, file for divorce. men dont just get a wild hair up their *** out of the blue. action speaks louder than words, if he wanted to be with you, then he would be home. its a damn shame, he's obviously in a crisis and he didn't turn to you. just move on.

Ern.	well if he said hes never coming back then u need to move on. its gonna be tough and its gonna be hard hell, it might even take u a long while to get over him but theres no sense in focusing on him...u need to do u. good luck btw, i agree with bhappy. if u have a joint account go to the bank and get ur part of the money

jemmamomma	First, you're going to need some time to absorb this huge issue he's just dumped on you. Allow yourself to be sad and even mad if you need to. Get a support system in place--friends, family--you'll need that. Then, you should probably protect yourself by getting a lawyer. I'm sorry this happened to you.

rachjessm	well hate to say this but empty the bank accounts, charge up the credit cards with cash advances change all the bills in his name, purchase a new car with your joint credit. Change the locks and get a lawyer. Oh yea quite your job and go on vacation for two weeks first. Hey this is the same advice I gave to some guy who asked the question I just left my wife........Now what. Better hurray.

TMQ	Definitely change your locks. There's a pretty good chance that he will regret it and come crawling back. If you accept him back, there's a good chance that he will do this again. So you need to make the choice now and never doubt your decision. I hope that you don't have any kids; it would just be so terrible for them.

autumn	ok ... he said ...he is never coming back but he wants to stay with you ...thats just not possible ... he cant stay away and be with you ... you two either need to get into counseling ..or sit down and lay everything out on the table ..if he isnt willing to do that ... id let him go ... why be in a marriage where the other partner doesnt want to be there ... good luck ... ...

crave knowledge	Ask him to explain what he means when he says he "wants to stay with you" but he's "never coming back." You need to know how to proceed with your life. Ask him why he left and if you could go to counseling with him or something. I'm so sorry.

William A	April, He is playing games that hurt. Get an attorney asap. If he doesn't know his own mind well enough to be sure get a restraining order, change the locks, close the bank accounts, cancel his phone-creditcards and car insurance. He is the problem: make him solve the problem. Professional help is usually covered by insurance.

Cassie	1. don't believe him, no one just up and walks out for no reason. 2. File for divorce 3. Get some counseling for yourself and move on. My soon to be ex said the same thing. I found out later that he needed time because he thought he was "in love" with some girl he had only known for 2 months. And that he cheated on me with.

ninadeenero	Why do you have to do anything immediately? My divorce just became final last month. We separated in 2004. Live your life, find time for yourself, work, whatever it is you do every day - keep doing it. There's no reason to rush into anything - you don't need to rush right out and file divorce papers. You don't need to go looking for another man to make him jealous. If you're worried about money, take some steps to protect yourself (take half of your money out of any joint accounts, write up a document that clearly states that any debt he incurred after the date of separation is his alone, etc.) Other than that - just breathe, get through the next few weeks one day at a time - and figure out what you want - it's not just about him. Take care.

very important pig club	Are you emplyed? How are you going to pay the bills? If these things are an issue, then you need to seek legal advice NOW! Then,I would suggest seeing a counselor. A counselor can help you through this time b/c separation is stressful & stress puts people at risk for many things. Plus you need to figure out what you want. Even though I am a Christian, I would suggest seeing someone secular, b/c some Christian counselors will lean towards salavaging the marriage even if you end up figuring out its not what you want or need. Then, i would find a good church - but not too strict of one. They will be a good source of support and friendship.

monarchy	Give him the time he needs to think things through. I don't know how serious your personal problems are but if you still love him follow your heart and take him back if he wants to come back. If he doesn't want to come back be prepared. You can try on going to a church group they'll give you the emotional support you might need.

justakiss62	I'm confused too. First you said he is never coming back but he wants to stay with you????? I'm sorry to hear that he left you, but you must pick up the pieces and move on....It sounds like your hubby has demons he must deal with on his own.... Seek some counseling and if he returns get counseling for both of you. Good luck

Capicu Inc	SOooo... he says hes never coming back and that he wants to stay with you? uhhhh hes psycho and your stupid for believing him. Dump the man and call it quits. How dare he mess with your emotions and your feelings. If he really wants to be with you he should BE WITH YOU and not gallavanting with some other brawd. DUMP him, you are worth soo much more then he is offering... He might be saying that hes not with somone but thats bs. DUMP him... hopefully you have a job and do not need his support. screw him.

Pundit	If u believe him then wats the question. Look God is seeing everyone, and u too and the god never hurts anyone. Please be patient, if ur husband is angry or whatever he is thinking right now please call him or go meethim and hold his hand and ask wat is his problem, cause may u know the solution. and if u love him then gal go bring him backhe is urs , dont let him go u cant let ur things go like this. everything is fair in Love and War. wish u best of luck. may God Bless U

â™¥ â™¥HONESTY RULESâ™¥â™¥	Give him some space and maybe he will come back. You didn't give any details on why he left so it's hard to give advice. I would take the time to work on yourself. Maybe start reading, exercising, or doing other things that will make you feel good about yourself. When you feel like a better person, the people around you will notice. It may actually bring him back if he is given the opportunity to see you as you and not just an extension of him:) Good luck

Bobby Cowboy Man	Just take some time for yourself. He wants time to think, so take some time to think yourself. Although it is difficult to allow your husband to abandon you, allow yourself to accustom to the new environment and do things you normally could not do with him around. That will be much more fun than asking a question on Yahoo answers and waiting for him to take his time.

just me	you know... i see that he doesnt know what he wants ... how can he tell you that he want to stay with you yet he left you and said was never coming back....something had to be going on in your relationship for him to make this desicion... i think that like i said he doesnt know what he wants and you need to evaluate to see what YOU want. They only one that can tell you what your next move you should take is yourself... value yourself and just let him realize what he had in you. dont go running begging him to come back..... and learn to love yourself over anyone(including him) hope i helped

Evessheild777	I think I would contact him again. Tell him that you love him and that you will do what it takes to work all this out. Go to a good couples counselor. Also, go out together and do something that he likes. Marriage requires two people who are extremely selfless... if a marriage is to work, it has to be about the other person. With your good example, he will likely come to see how good a marriage can be by putting the other person first. *edit: I don't know why people don't think this is a good answer, what I said is true. If a couple love eachother deeply and treat eachother like royalty, the marriage WILL work! But both spouses have to feel this way and behave this way.

Blondie	That's sounds terrible, I don't know what I would do if my husband did that. Actually, I do know what I would do, I would go stay with family. Like my mom, or sister, or my dad, or somebody supportive. Give him time...if he loves you he'll come back. Don't keep bothering him...actually I'm a believer in pretending like it's not hurting... If you were a good wife, he will see what he's missing and come running back, you just need some time to forget about what's going on.....take a vacation, it will help.

Cheyenne S	How can he say both, "he's never coming back" AND "he wants to stay with you?" That is contradictory and doesn't make sense. It sounds like you need to start to take stock of your life and start making plans of what you are going to do (where to live, how to support yourself, etc) in the event that he doesn't return to you.

Blessed Rain	well you need to talk to him about marriage counseling and you need to talk to legal counsel. first you say he is never coming back then you say he wants to stay with you and you believe him??? You need to find out what is really going on, try to remain calm and just let him talk but you need to really know what is going on and not just what he thinks you want to hear.

TJ man	Hmm...a lot of information needed to answer. 1. How do you feel about him? 2. He says he's not coming back, but he wants to stay with you---unfortunately those two things are "opposites". You need to clarify... If you don't know, you need to ask for clarification? 3. You need to talk with him and get to the bottom of the problem. Otherwise you are making a decision on "incomplete" information.

HoHo	If he left you how is it possible that he wants to stay with you? Frankly, there is obviously something off about your marriage. The reasons are endless but the final feeling/outcome is not... your husband no longer wants to be with you. Accept that, don't beat yourself up over it (as you may have had zero control over the issue) and start to process through the pain. You'll heal quicker and hopefully find someone who wants to treasure you for the rest of his days. Good luck!

caveman	ask yourself this, how can he still want to be with you if he isn't coming back? ok, so he says he isn't with anyone else, ask yourself this, has he ever given you reason to distrust him EVER in your marriage? you should try to salvage what ever you can when it comes to marriage, but it doesn't sound like he really wants this with you anymore. i'd say for now ask yourself those questions, spend sometime to yourself trying to get an honest answer with yourself, not what you want as an answer, but an honest one, then contact him and try to talk things out. also ask, why did he leave in the first place? get the HONEST answers, even if they aren't the ones that you want, and then just follow your heart. i hope things work out for the best for you. just remember what ever happens God his plans for you, don't fight them, go with them and they will lead you to greatness.

nite_angelica	He wants to stay with you? You know that's crap, right? Is someone holding a gun to his head and preventing him from coming home? He IS seeing someone else though - he's lieing about that, too. The first thing you do is TAKE CARE OF YOU. Are you guys really married? House? Kids? If you have anything together, then talk to an attorney immediately. Change locks on the door - he left, he doesn't live there anymore. Leave another message on his phone saying you agree 100% with his decision and that you need an address of where to send his stuff or it will be donated tomorrow. If he doesn't call back - donate it. Do not let him back in the house when he wants to come home. He is not more important than you are and you do not need him in your life to survive. You start your life over and keep going. The world doesn't come to an end because he's a dumbazz. Apparently, he doesn't care about you or he wouldn't have just walked away.... so it's up to you to care about you. Good luck.

heatherw	file for a divorce and move on get a new hair do hang out some new people start your life new how you would want it to be you now have no strings and can be the person you may have always wanted to be his loss If he left, sorry to say but he is either not coming back, doesn't want to be with you, or is trying to pull you along and stay around while he has a rondayvo with some chick he didn't just leave without reason and he shouldn't have just left anyway honey thats not what a husband does, a husband is someone who is supposed to love and respect you enough to let you know what is going on through rough times not just abandon you, whether he wants to come back or not come back or be with you, don't let him!