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My husband said one time when he was drunk that he wished I would just hurry up and die.?
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My husband said one time when he was drunk that he wished I would just hurry up and die.?

He is a jeckle/hyde personality and has verbally abused me for 23 years when he is drunk. Do you think he really wants me to die? is he fake because he treats me like gold after one of his violent tantrums where he says very mean things.







caroline f
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drinking makes people say the truth. so think u should get out of there, as no one should be treated like that.


im a mummy 2
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i put up with verbal abuse for 17 yrs, eventually came to my senses, found someone i really loved who repects me and left him! please don't blame the alcohol. he sounds very unkind, and you don't have to put up with it. you will be surprised when you leave him how many people will back yo up, people thtat pretended they liked him for your sake! he is a coward thats ahy he treats you nicely afterwards, and a bully! find someone nice, it makes such a difference to life ! i have a wonderfl husband now and i wish i had met him years ago! good luck, be strong"!


truefrog2002
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Hi Sorry to hear that your husband of 23 years (!) said something like that I would take time to think seriously about it Alcohol sometimes brings people to the stage where they things that they wouldn't say when sober Approach him when he's sober and ask him what he meant Was he always like this? 23 years is a long time Good luck to you


and7291
it sounds like a difficult situation because he only treats you badly when he's drunk, but still, i'd be very careful. isnt it true that sometimes people say drunk what they're too afraid to say sober? i dont mean to say that he really wants you to hurry up and die, just that maybe his drunken violent behaviour will soon have repercussions when he's sober, or he might start saying these things when sober aswell. i'd suggest that you talk to him about it while he's sober, and tell him how much it's upsetting you. ask him if that's the way he really feels, and if he genuinely doesn't feel that way, don't allow him to drink anymore and maybe take him to a psychiatrist to get to the root of the problem. good luck!


Phill A
Don't you think that perhaps he stated that because if you did die he would no longer be able to abuse you? People say the weirdest things like a child telling their parents "I wish you were dead" or " I hate you" it just shows their immaturity and they say it because they have no other way of expressing their anger, unless they are taught to hit someone or something and not really mean it hence the treating better bit afterwards. Sometimes people verbally abuse because there is an underlying problem within themselves and has nothing to do the the person being abused such as a control issue, feeling a out of control with their own life, no self worth or jealously.Where alcohol is involved that is just a excuse , it brings out the courage to say things or be someone who is hidden inside. Some people are happy drunks some are mean drunks and when they sober up you always hear " it's because of the drink babe". If they are abusive under drink they need to seek help! They are the one with the problem and are in denial, first sign of a alcoholic is denial.No one has the right to abuse any living creature in my opinion verbally or physically, it just shows that they are a weak human and also it's just wrong...


Pat B
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I sorry the day after is an old classic. They are sorry, but not really. Sorry means you don't do it again. My grandmother told me when I was little that my dad was when he was sober. He wasn't my dad when he was drunk. I helped me as a child. You may not be able to leave him, but you can leave the conversation when it gets ugly. Have something to do that gets you away from the situation for short period when it goes bad. I go down to do laundry of clean on another floor of my house.


animalwatch
You know what they say "kids and drunks always tell the truth". Obviously this situation really suits you because you've put up with it for 23 years. What a question! have you no self respect, "treats you like gold after his violent tantrums" wake up and smell the coffee luv,surely you want better for yourself don't you?


ffiondove
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You have put up with drunken, violent abuse for 23 years?!?! You shouldn't tolarate it for 23 seconds - get rid of him he's toxic in drink and there really is nothing you can do to change such a man. Doesn't really matter whether he means what he says or not.......he says it...that's enough!


the_silverfoxx
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it,s the alachol. he needs to stop drinking for the virbal abuse as well to in my opion?


Buddy
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It is the drink


Marcus
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The reason he is so nice to you after he sobers up is because he feels guilty. NO ONE should be verbally or physically abused in this way and you need to seek help ASAP. Telling someone to hurry up and die is a DREADFUL thing. You don not have to suffer in this way. Now, contact your local office for Domestic Violence and get some help.


skyehigh
Teach him a lesson and secretly plan a way to leave him for a week, where he has no idea where you are or how to get a hold of you. Yeah, by the time a week went by, he'd be going insane with worry. Ask him when you get back if he still thinks you should "hurry up and die." He doesn't appreciate you, and you know how you don't know what you've got until it's gone. It's time to remind him, me thinks. Try it. It works wonders!


MelB
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Keep him away from alcohol. and you will be a happy wife.


richard_beckham2001
Tell him to get help with is drinking. Nobody deserves to take abuse like that.


LaurenElyse
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No, he does not. He is angry with himself not you. See if he will agree to counseling. You have suffered years of abuse. He says he is sorry and treats you like gold because he knows he was wrong. He also knows unless he receives help it will continue. I hope he agrees to before a real tragedy happens.


CraZyCaT
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Yes, he is a j/h personality. That's too long to take that my dear. Will he mean it ..if he accidently kills you ? I'm shocked he hasn't hurt you badly by now. He is an alcoholic. You need to leave him, before your self esteem is totally damaged. Men like him, may never learn how to love and take good care of a woman Let him go be with another drunk. Be careful. Sometimes when the woman wants out, that is the most dangerous time. Just be prepared ahead of time. While he is at work...GO. You'll never get your life in order as long as he's around you. It's not worth it. Your worth more than that crap...don't take anymore.Leave him!


Nubian
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Wow...and you put up with that...:( That man needs to sober up. n


gem
yea thats really hard.. when ppl are drunk they say true things.. but sometimes its way over board.. he knows he is verbally abusing u that's why he makes up for it by treating u like "gold" afterwards..


miss k
Get him some help on his addiction.


vodka_vixen86
i have always wanted to be a cheerleader... tell me how im going so far gimme a d... D gimme a i... I gimme a v... V gimme a o... O gimme a r... R gimme a c... C gimme a e... E alright gang what does it spell? "croud yells" DIVORCE


freshbliss
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You said it yourself - he is jeckyl and hyde - and as someone who has been in His spot - it's the booze talking. But do me a favor, dont you dare justify that horseshit. He still has no reason to treat anyone like that, especially someone he claims to love. Remember, I was in his spot darling, and I'm still saying he has no right, k? Call someone from AA - call the hotline in your area. They might have someone tell him thier story - to help him decide if he has a problem.


hottie818
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Wat dose he no he was drunk u will get over it and he is a dum ass srry but yah hope u Will 4give if not divorces him


Bren
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He has a problem and needs to get in to rehab you do not have to take that verbal abuse I hope he isn't physically abusive to you 23 years is a long time to put up with that....... I am sure he does not want you to die..but he should not say things like that.. get him to join AA or some group support go with him if it will help


Boscombe
Alcohol puts a completely different aspect on life. He is probably reacting to you remarks when he is drunk. When he comes home like that just try to avoid him.


boby
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If he has been doing this for that long it is not going to change. There is some truth in what you say when you are drunk, but I dont think he really wants you to die. He is just pissed about something. You guys have some things to really sit down and discuss with each other. If that doesnt help you might just need to call it quits.


fivelighters
fancy a date


Seti
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It's possible that when he says he wants you to die, he really means it - at that moment. Later, he changes his mind and doesn't want you to die anymore. Does it really matter to you whether or not he *really* wants you to die, or if he just says it out of habit? Is one somehow better than the other? What difference does it really make? I guess I don't quite understand the point of your question.


Tasteofcrayons
Its definitely just the alcohol but you shouldnt be with him if he is saying that regaurdless. You should be equally as angry as youd be if he said that being serious


suzie1968uk
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have you not answered your own question hun, abused for 23 years of any sort is abuse .. you have stood it for that long, my guess would be he would be scared sick if anything happened to you but has got into a nasty rut of treating you like s...t . maybe a time out spell would do you both good, you to see there is more to life than that .. you do deserve better, and him to see the error of his ways. Alcohol makes people say and do many stupid things, but they also call it the truth drug as it just gives them confidence to say what they would never do sober. Tell him it hurt, your sick of it, go stay with freinds relatives for a week, see how he copes, take the kids if you have any but give yourself a well deserved break.. if you choose to go back to him, then at least you know what your letting yourself in for, or you might actually find you enjoy life without the abuse xx good luck in whatever you choose x


So in love.
i honestly dont know what to tell you, some people tell the truth when their drunk and other just rant. i would just talk to him about it and see if he remembers saying anything to you.


capricorn
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people say wierd things when they are drunk. try not to let him drunk.


clinton s
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alcohol can be a truth serum to some people. talk to him when he is sober and see if he is genuine.


zzhoundzz
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Why have you put up with that?


Andy
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he sounds bipolar, you should have it checked out.


Me
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The answer to your problem is simple: No drinking for him. He never has a right to say something like that, and you can't let him have an excuse.


JtoJ
It's just the alcohol.







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