My husband says if I don't have a baby, it's over.?

dragon	Wow, you are getting up there in your years. He may have a point. The longer you wait the higher the risk for for complications during your pregnancy. Also think about this, if you were pregnant right now your husband would be a very old man when your child were to graduate from high school. How long do you want to wait? He deserves better.

jimmy.parker06	well you both need to communicate and if you don't want a child then don't have one. There is nothing worst then bring a child into this world for the wrong reasons. If you don't want a have a child and he does, maybe you both can adopt. Or if it is that important to him and you are not will, then you might want to go your own ways.

Sir Hard & Thick	I will tell one thing the longer you wait the harder it gets! keeping up with them is harder and it is also harder on the retirement plans. if your going to do it you better get started! and even if you don't get pregnant trying is fun!!

Roxxi	that is so stupid! if you dont want to have a baby you dont have to. if he pushes you dump him!!! its not his desision. he cant say, "lets have a baby right night". its also your dicision.

à®âˆ‚Î±Ñâ„“Î¹Î·gâ™ªÃŸÎ±ÃŸyà®	you are a liar.i hope he leaves you.you cant change the rules in the middle of a game.and you cant do this to him.the before marriage talk is so important.if a man says no kids and a woman tries to convince her husband after.that is wrong too.i don't blame him for wanting to leave.

Tilly	He is 39, by the time the kid is 18 he will be 57.... I don't blame him for wanting the baby now. You aren't getting any younger either! I know it's popular to get pregnant at a later age now days, but if you think about it you're body is in it's prime now, it will only be tougher on it as you age. Maybe there will never be a "perfect" time for you to have a baby. Think about this and let him have a child with another woman if you can't see this in your future.

atlantaluxe	If you knew that he wanted children when you got married then it is your obligation to give this man a child. There is nothing wrong with that. He hasn't just come up with this desire out of the blue. this was what you knew coming into it. I won't even suggest divorce because I don't believe in it. Do right by him and honor your promise. You knew he wanted one, your getting up in age it will get harder and harder the longer you wait and if you you don't give him one you will never have a good marriage because he will resent you. Learn from brad and jennifer... I'll bet she wishes she would have just given the man a child now... Don't do this to your husband girl. money will work it's self out.

sherry n	Today it's "over" if you don't have his baby.... what will it be over for tomorrow?? Ultimatums are not a sign of a healthy marriage.

im_gonna_be_famous525	tell him ur the one that has to get pregnant also ur question says it's over? that means he'd divorce you over it? i dont think its that big a deal

Lulu	You don't seem to be ready now, and in no hurry to have a baby, you'll find many reasons or excuses not to have a baby next year or the year after, you know what your husband wanted so if you have other priorities why don't you let him move on and seeks what's makes him happy somewhere else?

dwmmdm2	sounds like you never wanted kids in the first place or you wouldnt of waited till your mid 30s. and your husbands geting older and no children so thats why hes hounding you to have them. it might be a mid life type of thing. and if he leaves you for not having kids is stupid. if he really loves you hed not rush you and see things your way. and if he still leaves it want meant to be

Too Blessed To Be Stressed!	Look at it from his point of view. He wants to have a family and not be too old to enjoy one. Don't fight just tell him how you truly feel. No superfluous crap we women are great at. If he wants to end your marriage than that is pretty stupid on his part. If you never intend on having children then you should be honest and shold have been honest. There is rarely ever a right time to have children. Make a decision.

In My Red High Heels	Tell him what you wrote above. Children are expensive and you shouldn't have them if you can't afford them (which is the impression I am given from your statement) . Make an arrangement: Save money for a few years so you can afford all the things children require. Make the point clear that two incomes are needed.and you can't handle being pregnant and building your new career. At 34, you still have plenty of 'childbearing' years left. He should be more worried about his own procreation capabilities, not yours.

mg44	A baby will put More STRAIN on your marriage its best to hold off! If he wants out let him go!

doo doo head	I think that you agreed to have one, and he is right, you should have at least one, like you told him, before it is too late, and you guys cannot conceive. You are no spring chicken and you did agree, there are some things worth sacrificing for, like a baby, and a happy marriage. I agree with him, he told you and you agreed, so you cannot back out now, or he married you based on a lie. p.s. who said you will get sick and tired, I don't think there would be a mass amount of people having babies if it were that rough, you migh be expecting too much pain...

lwheavenlyangel	You married this man, knowing that he wanted kids. Now that you are married to him, didn't it cross your mind that he would ask why its taking so long to for you to get pregnant? Sounds to me that you married him, just to have a husband and really not concerned over the fact that he wanted children. You have to realize that if this is what he wants and you tricked him into marriage, he will leave you. If you decide to have a child, it is best that you do it before too long. If you do not want your husband to pressure you anymore about having a child, then get a divorce from him. You knew he wanted a child when you married him so stop playing the "poor me" role.

Flagger	Its time to hold up your part of the bargain or let him out of the deal. You knew the terms, you knew what he wanted . Yet you went in thinking I can get away without doing it and dragging things out until he gives up. That my dear is despicable. Let him go find someone to be a mother to his kid while the parts still work. The clock is ticking. I also think it is low to come here and look for support for your reneging on the deal. YOU KNEW now put up or let him go. You have been married for two years under false pretenses if you keep putting this off. It gets harder to have kids not easier. The time has come for you to get with it or let him out to find a willing wife who keeps her word. You are making excuses for breaking your word. Will the next broken agreement be the forsaking all others part? Follow Up: Based on your other questions I see my hunch was right. You lied about that too. Is there a thread of honesty left in your heart? Confused? I think you are very near beyond redemption. For once, will you please find a way to be honest with the people in your life. Let the poor sap of a husband go find a woman who does not cheat and lie to him. There are other terms for you but the Yahoo Police would delete the answer.

Korie	If the child had a choice I don't think he or she would ask to be born into a home where the issue is being forced by one and resistance by the other. A child needs to be wanted,

mrsknowitall	Good Luck with trying to get him to see it your way men are so pigheaded when it comes to this type of situation.

Kitty	Both of your clocks are ticking, girl - face it. You are in "no hurry"? How old do you have to be to be "in a hurry"? The thing is, there's never the "right" time for having kids if this isn't what you want to do. Today it's the new career, tomorrow it's the new mortgage, the next day it's something else. The question is - do you want to have kids, or do you not? If you don't, you're with the wrong guy; you shouldn't let anyone pressure you into such a major decision when it really isn't something you wish to do. But you have to understand his position - if he was up-front with you and you guys had an agreement that you were going to have kids, of course he wants you to "pay up". If you feel that there's a certain "watershed" in the near future that it makes sense to wait for before having kids - talk to your husband and explain your position. There's no harm in waiting a few months. But if your situation is unlikely to change in the forseeable future, then what will you be waiting for? Winning the lottery? A fat inheritance? You will have to come up with a solution sooner or later. Get your heads together and come up with this solution; set a timeline. Or - be honest with him and tell him you really would rather not have children. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to go through this hassle. He will then have the option to look for someone whose views on family planning are more compatible with his.

TelulahB	Men have biological clocks in the same way that women do. It isn't simply that he is being irrational and you have to carry the baby, etc. He has a legitimate concern that at his age, if he waits too much longer, he will not be able to enjoy the entire child rearing (and grandchild) process. Instead of drawing a line in the sand, why don't you both sit down and make a REAL and practical time line. If your concerns are mostly monetary, figure out how much you will need to have in saving before you have a baby. Then start saving. If he sees that you are really saving and are excited about it AND that you are both moving towards a goal, he will probably back off. If you are just worried about working and pregnancy, most women have to do both and survive just fine (I have 3 and worked through them all!) However, if you really don't want to have kids in the foreseeable future it is unfair to guilt him into giving in or making him a bad guy. He was up front with you as to his goals. You need to let him find someone that has similar goals.

kimberly d	confused chick! I need you ask yourself these questions: 1. is he a good provider 2. do he put your needs first 3. did he show you any disrespectful acts 4. have he loved you unconditional 5. have you been successful in your career 6. if you answer is yes to all these question why not have the man one child to spoil huh? Don't let a good man go its to hard to find them feel me.

Axn	He's just worried because it might get too late to have a kid later onwards (because of ageing, menopause or reproductive related illness in mid-years). Also, having a kid in the family is not only a bundle of joy, it's a huge responsibility as well. Since you are starting a new career, you probably cannot have a baby, also as you stated, income is an issue. You cannot have a child/be pregnant and be working at the same time. You need to talk to your spouse about this. Anyways, it's you who will be carrying a baby for 9 months, so he should see your way too.

Blond girl	A general rule of thumb is if either partner doesn't want children they win, no ifs, ands, or buts. You should never bring a child into the world if one of you doesn't want to. I don't know what this will do to your relationship because your husband married you with the agreement that you would have one and in a fair world he would get to but the potential child deserves better.

ibsawdust	Tell him it's your body that will go through all the changes not his and if he is that shallow to leave you because your not ready , then obviously he will not make a good husband in the future..To have a baby now when you are not ready will just make you resent him and possibly not bond with the child as you should..So sorry but unless he is willing to wait, I think your marriage is over..

The Parthian	tell him it's his fault, an keep taking you pills, or get a long lasting shot

hexus	It sounds like you're making the kid out to be some sort of commodity - children are a life-long deal. He can't just want that cute cuddly baby - he has to want the toddler who breaks his stuff, pulls his hair, hits him in unsavory places, vomits all over him, etc -- and the teenager who will test his self-restraint to it's limits. I think you may want to try a dog first - get it as a puppy - it doesn't sound like anyone has thought this through all the way.