My mom is acting funny around my dad?

indianthinking	Your mom behavior can be do not many things, as this is since many years, I don't think it is due to menopos. I believe it has something to do with their relationship. There is something which only your dad and mom knows. May be she is hurt by your dad longtime back, and she is not able to get over from it. At max, you can talk to your Mom & Dad seperately, tell him how much you love and respect them. And ask them if they can share with you the reason of this behvaior. Also, tell them it is effecting you, and you get tensed, ask them if you can help in anyway in resolving it. This will be big step in imporving their relationship, every parents love thier kids. ----------- You are very cautious thats why you note every single time you get angry, and after anger you feel it was not required. There is nothing wrong in it, it is rather wether good as you are very concious about improving yourself. I am sure you are no way going to torture your husband. Be confident and loving.

Joe F	You learn to be honest with yourself,work on your faults ADMIT to your faults and get a sense of humor even if it is at your own expense.Like if someone says "you're fat" say "Yeah I know, when I stand on the scales it says to be continued". Ask your mom if she wants to be married 5 yrs from now.If she says yes, say keep treating dad like sh-t and you won't be,you'll be divorced and die alone becaue there aren't many other men who will put up qwith your crap". If she says it doesn't matter, tell her to keep doing what she is doing then".

wasaki	you will find , because you witnessed this most of your life, you will be a different wife and mother. My dad wasnt the sweetest person when I was growing up. I vowed to be a better husband and Father than my Dad was.

Boobiesitter F	menopause does nasty things to women. she sounds like a good candidate for hormone replacement therapy.

Lisa G	unfortunately ,youi become conditioned to what you are surrounded by.kids copy their parents.maybe dont hang with your mum when she is being like this and make a conscious decision not to be like her because you may end up alone if you behave like this. maybe you or your dad should confront her about her behaviour because no one should have to put up with this.i hope your mum gets some help.

2fine4u	There may be more going on than you know about. Maybe a previous infidelity that she has never forgiven him for. On the other hand, it could be her personality. My strong suggestion would be counseling..

josephsharka	My mother was very similiar and I just vowed to be a different person for my wife and mother for my kids. And I am. It's a conscious effort and takes work, but you can do it. just try it and see how it work

purplefloridatexas	At the age your mother is my guess is. She is going through the change of life, menipause. Women act like that when this happen to them. Some day you will go through it every woman does. If a man loves a woman they will just ride it out even though it is not easy, but who said life would be easy. As far as you now think before you speak. Think how things will sound to other before you say them. I had to do this for a long time as I was having problem of another sort causing short temper and snapping at people for no reason, and thing not coming out the way I intended them. Good Luck and God Bless You.

Cassius	Thats what autorityless hippy methods in raising children brought upon us. I feel sorry for your generation that has to deal with it.

thatartistwin	Your mother is probably going through menopause or pre-menopause which causes mood swings, discomfort and a host of other symptoms. It is biological and cannot be helped. There is a good chance your father is aware of this and deals with it because he knows it is not her fault. Don't fret about it. Just read up on menopause and discuss it with your mom.

what was i thinking!!	she sounds bipolar.realizing how your mother is should help keep you on the right track.for some reason your father is very patient with your mother.all you really can do is let him fend for himself.

contessa	Probably menopause...you alreday are aware tahts hes like taht- so you wont become like her- just watch out for your patterns.

Paul&Fran	First off there isn't anything you can do except be there for your father. This isn't your problem to solve. As far as you turning into your mother? What you don't want to do is go out and find a man that fits her mold. Learn from example know that a truly loving relationship isn't like this. I try to explain this to my son and i hope he takes heed. My ex was quite a bit like your mother.

avavu	She must have a good reason for it.whatever she does,she does it for purpose.Don't feel sorry for your dad,he knows what up.He is just acting stupid. just ask her and be a good lisener.She'll tell you.

punxsutawney phil	You can't do anything. You are doomed to follow in her footsteps.

Sarah Elizabeth	Well my Mom is the same way, but that made me decide to never be like that. It helped me see what a mess families turn into when people act like that. So now I am married and I know how NOT to treat my husband. We are very happy together. It takes conscious effort but you certainly can do it! Maybe a change of atmosphere (example going away for studies) would help you a lot.

CamM	One time when your mom is around, and you have been just like her, have the presence of mind to say something along the lines of "oh no, I'm sounding like the way my mom talks to dad". It will jog your memory in future, and may very well make your mom realise just how she sounds and how she treats your dad. It may make all the difference in the world, to their relationship. Good luck.

Shandlan	your mothers been hurt in some type of way by ur father..many parents refuse to let their kids know details of their relationship..so they stay together for the kids and ole' times sakes...but anyway..sounds like ur moms is hurting...maybe u should sympathize with her instead of putting her down... cuz u dont know what ur father has done to make her act in such behavior...remember this as long as u live..."a women doesnt act out unless she has a reason"

â™¥ Gee â™¥	I'm growing up with my parents both very close and in a great relationship. Advice... It involves two people, and only those two people. You can't make your Mom be nice to your Dad; you don't know what is happening with them. Let them live your life, and you live yours. Don't let your Mom pull you down. Hope I helped â™¥

stuffys_sweets	I agree with the first answerer. I personally vowed to myself not to be like my mother. I understand now why my father left her, sad to say, but she has issues. She still hasn't changed even though she's remarried twice, and I try my darndest not to act like her. I try to let what I hear go in one ear and out the other. I tell myself that I am her friend and if she wants to talk, which is usual, then it goes in one ear and out the other. If I bring home the frustrations that I hear, it only hurts my marriage. I have worked really hard to change my habits and what I say or do not say. She, on the other hand, is still the same. She is very controlling and has to know what my step dad is doing all the time. Me on the other hand, I'm laid back and let my hubby go out so he can relax with the guys. I realize that with time apart comes rewards. He is much happier to see me when he returns, because I let him go and don't nag. I do sometimes find myself catching myself though if I've been around her for a good period of time that day. It's irritating. I learned what she was like at a young age, and decided to look to my grandparents for role models instead. I'm 32 now, my mom is 56. In my first big relationship, ex-fiance of 4 1/2 years, I did act like my mother. This added to our already mix of problems. He had an addiction and I was like my mother, didn't work out. I'm very grateful I learned from that relationship, so I could better myself for the one I've loved since we were 11. Take what you see as a learning tool and try to better yourself. A book that helped me for marriage was, "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus". I'm thankful I read this book before getting married. I let him go to his cave when he needs to, and I respect that, I don't run after him.

I need a change	I can relate, sometimes I think my mother is from hell. My step dad bought her a coach bag, she went behind his back and returned it to the store, got the money and went to a casino. Get my point. Anyways, as long you catch yourself in the process of slipping up and acting like your mother, you are ahead in the game. Try maybe breathing techniques when you feel like you have the urge to go off for a petty situation. Think about how your farther feels when your mother goes off on him.

They Don't Like Me!	we are sometimes a product of our environment. i vowed not to be like my mother, but sometimes i catch myself and say damn i'm acting just like my mother. when you get into a relationship and start acting like this, good chance you will, catch yourself, step back and breathe...also remember your dad might not be as innocent as you think. unless you are around them 24 hours a day non stop, you don't know what your father does to provoke your mother.

me _	probably your mom's going through the menopause.

lovinlife	You already know how you DONT want to act, so dont do it. Also, your mother may have a reason for acting like this toward your dad that you dont know about.

jennifer_weisz	ha! sounds like my mom.....my dad is the sweetest.....i used to joke with him that he is p*****-whipped, which to be honest, that is what nice guys are - because otherwise why would they be considered nice? lol you'll probably act this way since you've been a witness, just let your husband know to tell you when you do it, you'll be fine

SCOTT	Don't worry. You'll remember it forever and will do the opposite. Once, when I was like eight, I saw my dad clock my mom. I subconsciously vowed to never cause pain to anyone like this. I'm 37 and have never hit a woman in my life!

letterstoheather	It's your father's fault he allows your mother to treat him this way... for whatever reason? You can stop and count to 10 or 20 in your mind before you respond to anything your husband says -- even if it's a compliment or just every day chatting... and especially if it's something which might be important, or annoying or upsetting. If you can practice this with everyone and in all situations, it will work well! The pause, without saying anything, gives you a chance to think about what you were going to say..... and give you an opportunity to say something constructive instead of otherwise.

sharene h	Your mom and dad have a relationship that is a mystery to you. They must love each other or they would'nt stay together. Don't worry yourself about their relationship, it's none of your business. (sorry) No matter what you do they will have their relationship as it is or change it. As far as being mean to others that is a choice that you make. It can be an easy habit to get into if you let it so don't allow yourself the luxury or yelling at people or treating them mean. You will like yourself a lot better in the long run.

Beachbumminblonde	My mother was very similiar and I just vowed to be a different person for my husband and mother for my kids. And I am. It's a conscious effort and takes work, but you can do it.