My wife wants a one year separation. Am I an idiot?

?	I have been there 4 times. Try a seperation and have as little as you can to do with her. Carry on rebuilding your life and when you feel comfortable with it go for joint counselling. A break away from each other is whatr you might need.

wthing5	Who am I to judge......but idiot seems too light a word fvcking idiot springs to mind someone is ****** her get over it and move on

grandm	Agree to a separation only if she'll agree to marriage counseling together. If she won't agree, then just divorce her.

NURSING FOR LIFE!!	17 yrs together and you to still haven't learned how to communicate with each other? That's crazy. So what has been going on all these years, fight, fight, and more fights?! A separation might be good for the 2 adults that can't communicate like grown ups, but what about the kids? How will Mommy and Daddy not living in one home make them feel, you see, it's not about you two anymore, it's about the kids, and you two owe it to your children to get thru this in the same home. Try spiritual counseling.

Rawr_Kitty	She may just need some time alone to think stuff out. If you still love her you'll just hold on until she's ready. And if it's you, you need to work it out. It's all about how much you're willing to keep your family together. You have three young children that need a stable mother and a loving father.

2sweet4u	I would say that y'all need to seek professional help because neither is good because children are involved now i think that y'all need to do all that y'all can to prevent either one of these from happening if at all possible.

mvalhala	Sounds like you're on the road to a divorce. First step in most states towards divorce IS a seperation. If she's leaving, go for the seperation - keep the kids & stay in the house - and by all means, find a really great lawyer to help position yourself for the ineveitable. The more you do up-front, the better you and the kids will be when your wife files for divorce.

jane c	1. marriage counselling. 2. Seperation/divorce. Better find out what is really lacking in your marriage. Can you handled yourself being divorce? and how about your 3 kids, just think what sort of impact that will happen to them. Custody battle? If the marriage really fails, damn after 17 yrs. what the heck just happen to your marriage?! Either someone hasn't pay attentions to the others needs. Think first if you really want to go through this step.

sue d	A one year separation with you still paying the bills, and not just child support? NO way! A year is a long time to be separated, and it is very unhealthy for a marriage. For the children too! I would say your not getting the complete story to this separation. Sorry. It's your life too. We can't all have the best of both worlds, either your married or your not. Good luck!

~	MAybe she just needs time to think or she needs to see wherer the relationship with another possible mn is going, and that is why she is giving the year. I would do what you feel is best to for yourself. You never know what her motives are. She could also be setting you up to an ugly ugly divorce settlement a year later.

richard c	sumpin' is up dude!!why is she looking for a sep' instead of just divorcing you? maybe yu need to pay some attention to details?? maybe she needs a lot of attention? wine her dine her if yu love her if not ----???have her checked out? might be nervous breakdown or mental trouble? she wants you out of the picture for some reason and this is an easy way to get you off dead center??

girlegyrl	absolutely.......try separating first......a little time a way is probably needed after 17 years......then a few months later....suggest counseling sessions....and take it from there... good luck

blueman2	Depends on if you want to start paying child support now or later

kevin T	Why does she want a seperation? Before all that happens I recommend going to councelling and go from there. After 17 years you can just let her Divorce her? Whats up? There seem to be more behind the picture, so you both need to see whast goiong on and go from there unless you just want out of the marriage?

sheloves_dablues	If you love your wife and want to be married to her, separate and take the time to seek counselling. If you aren't willing to work on what is keeping you from getting along, get a divorce and set her free.

â™¥dream_angelâ™¥	I think you should try the seperation. Things could work out yet.

Beatrix Kiddo	Yeah...whatever!! She wants her cake and to eat it too! She has got to be seeing someone else...If the separation was her idea! I would dig a little deeper If I were you!

akflame81	Agree to the separation. The best thing you can do to save your marriage is give her space and let her know you support her in whatever she needs to do to be happy again. But I definitely encourage you both to start counseling- both individually and as a couple. When kids are involved, any step should be taken to save the marriage! At the same time, before she moves out ground rules should be set. Both people should have a certain amount of privacy, but whether or not you're allowed to date other people should be discussed. You don't want her to sleep around and then try to come back to you. That involves her health as well as yours... Anyway, Good luck!

blazegirl	She may be planning on getting a divorce anyway and figuring on how to set it up so she gets her way.

NANCY K	D-I-V-O-R-C-E!!!! She is up to NO GOOD!

notyou311	Try the separation but get marriage counseling, too. A year is too long. 3 months is plenty.

Bob	After reading some of your past questions, maybe you two need a trial separation. I would file for Limited Divorce in your state and continue exploring your S&M and Gay curiousities. Good luck to you.

superboredom	if things don't work out between you two, then that means you need to work out your differences, divorcing isn't the way to go imo. you took the vows, and have been married for 17 years, your kids are still young, that's bit of a selfish thinking don't ya think?

Racer X	I think she is keeping you on the backburner in case something else better doesn't come along.

Daniel C	I say take the separation. You obviously don't want to be with her right now anyway, so if, after the one year break you still don't want to be with her, you can divorce her then. However, if you get money from the divorce, then get it now. Women do that all the time.

tumbleweed1954	If she wants to leave you for a year then I'd say it's over :-(

pinkyj124	Well, why not try? If things have been going badly, what do you have to lose besides, well, your marriage, and if you imeadiatly divorced you would lose that anyway!

just browsin	I would say counseling rather than separation.

Skepticalist	Let her have her way.

uncle billy	take the deal