Need an outside opinion.............Please help?

Kathy R	OH man...you really need to thank your lucky stars he's leaving. I had a fiance that was EXACTLY the same way. He accused me of sleeping with everything that moved. I know first hand how this wears on you and your self esteem. Let him go. Move on hun. It's the best possible thing you can do because men like that don't change. They get worse. Good luck.

Ski~nja	He sounds very immature, and that he got physical with you would be a deal breaker for me. Why would you suffer such behaviour?

notagain49	Wasn't I married to you once? You admit your husband had trust issues yet your dancing with someone else?OK,since he hurt your jaw he should be in jail.To bad they can't send women to jail for breaking guys hearts but if they did there wouldn't be any women outside of prison!Get a divorce,give him some relief.

Rhoda s	What do you mean opinion? Do you have to be run over by a semi in order to know it? Your boy Friend needs some counseling and so do you! If you both want this to work "spit the sheets!" Staying in a disrupted relationship is only prolonging a confrontation with reality, in plain words somebody is going to get hospitalized! Now, maybe he could send a brief question or request to the answer column like you did. I'm sure there are numerous people whom will guide the man to a proper place for help. Voluntary Counselor Western Illinois University

evil_fallen_angel41	and why is he still there? why are you still with him?.. Hun you need to pack his stuff up an put it on the porch and say see you later. go straight to the courthouse and get a divorce... Because he is already being abusive things will not get any better and life is to short to live with someone who treats tou bad an makes your life unhappy I know I done that for 7 1/2 years..... It may be tough in the beginning but things will get better just get out now before it is too late for you and he kills you instead of just beating on you!

RH Arizona	Sorry about your situation. At a very minimum, you need marital counseling. If you've tried that, and it didn't work, and he still behaves like that, you need him out of your life. You probably should buy an hour of time to talk to a divorce attorney, tell him what you've said above, and have him let you know what you are in for if you decide to leave him. At least there will be a record of his violence, if only with the attorney. If it happens again, you should immediately call the police, and also get a restraining order against him. Keep in mind, restraining orders are not what restrain people. Only the guy's RESPECT for the law and for the restraining order will do that. If he is so low as to hit women in the first place, he may well ignore the restraining order. So you should immediately change the locks on your place so he can't get in, and ALWAYS have a cell phone with you 24/7 to call 911 if you need to. Good luck!

Bambi 63	Every marriage deserves to be worked at, however if there is not any trust.. there really is no point.. My advise, cut your losses and get out before, you end up hating each other. If he is that physical over seeing you just dancing with someone ask yourself why? what has he been up to? You both need to move on and be happy, cos you are not happy with each other.

darlingK	allow him to go and you will find another person.

Rachel	That sounds absolutely horrible. I'm not sure what to recommend for you, but I know myself and I would leave because he seems to be mentally and physically abusive, but that's me. Do what your heart tells you is best.

arew o	i think you in the wrong,why bcou we men dun like our wife to dance with other ppl.one song is ok lor but you go to far,you is the same as my wife,every night go out with the same men

Amy V	The last 2 sentences makes the rest of his reaction seem like it was an act, to justify him doing something he shouldn't. This girl he had just met was just a little too convenient to call on for help.

Brutally Honest	And your question is.........? If you're asking if his behavior is acceptable, it is not. He's controlling, abusive, and has extreme anger-management issues. If you're asking if you should leave, the answer is a resounding YES. He is NOT the type of person you need to be around. And think about this f**ked up double-standard he just demonstrated. YOU cannot dance with another man, but HE can hook up with and drive off with some skank he found just the day BEFORE? PLEASE find a backbone, grow a set of balls, pack your sh!t and move out as fast as you can. File for a restraining order - because physical abuse IN ANY FORM is NEVER ACCEPTABLE, and find an attorney as soon as you're able to.

Diamond Dogs	How convenient he already had some one to pick him up he could call, get out you dont deserve it.

Sundays Girl	Sounds like both of you need to decide if you want to be married or single. Going out separately sounds like being single. Certainly going out with pick-ups sounds like being single. And your verbally and physically abusive husband doesn't sound very encouraging to the marriage. I would suggest some counseling.

livewire	If you have issues of trust you should not be going to a place where you get to dance with an old friend. He sounds like he is trying to get revenge and sounds like a childish yet abusive person. You both need to communicate better and you should only go out to dance with your husband. Trust is not something that you gain overnight. I guess I don't fall for your one sided story like most people. Edit: The decision is yours. We can not make up your mind but it seems like he wants you to trade your freedom for saving a marriage. I personally would go for saving the marriage because nothing is worth the emotional problems that your boys will be facing when there is no father in the house. As I mentioned earlier trust can be gained over time but for now it looks like you have to hang around your husband more. The downfall is if he will take advantage of you and get physical again. You need to sit down with him and tell him that you may do the trading but if he gets physically abusive then you have to walk out. It is one thing not to have a father in the house but it is horrible if your children see the physical abuse in the house. I am hoping that this was a one time incident. I am sorry my dear.

Tom S	he made that all up cause he has been having an affair all along, and was waiting for one little thing so he could get out of the house and be with her....

Dr Melissa	This behavior on his part is disrespectful and he obviously doesnt trust you. You need to see a marriage counselor if you want to save your marriage. You cannot accept this behavior from your husband. His behavior is hurtful and totally inappropriate. He should never put his hands on you. If he doest want to see a counselor, I think you need to see one yourself and maybe get out of this abusive relationship.

Michelle D	Why were you struugling with trust issues in the first place?

Squirrel	Without trust, there is nothing!! And he laid hands on you?? Leave him, at least temporarily, until he works out some of his own issues!!!

MarkyMarkC	He needs help! You need to wake up because he's going to HURT you if you don't separate from him soon!

GRUNT	YOU DID Not ask a question ?, But i takeit u are trying to figure out what to, I would say that based on what u said u and your husband need to get a marriage couns.

rhsaunders	The marriage is history. Under NO conditions, whatsoever, is physical violence acceptable. Get yourself to a shelter, and talk to a lawyer.

Renaissance Man	You have no good reason to complain about him ssince you did the ssame thing.. Your marriage is a bad one. Get a divorce before he kills you.

Beth	Okay, I see one side to this story. How do I know it's the truth? It's difficult to give an opinion based on a one-sided story. If he was physically violent, why didn't you call the police? Why are you still going to want to have any contact with him? Once a relationship gets physically violent, it's time to call it quits.

Double D	Get out of that asap

morbidlybeautiful	my advice ... run as fast as you can. For whatever reason, your husband obviously doesn't trust you and for him to run off witha girl he just meet gives you all the reason in the world not to reciprocate the trust. Pack your **** and go, especially if he is getting physical. There are a million fish in the sea and I am positive you can find one out there that will respect you more than your husband does.

Islander	Get out of there. Dont look back.

nikkie	leave him NOW

BirdogsID	Get out. I apologize for the brevity, but there is something wrong there.