Need some help on this. last year I thought my husband was having a affair?

lill_angel_07_88	I'm sorry to hear about this, next time he leaves the house to meet her call one of your friends and go there and catch him in the act... your excuse is me and one of my friends was having a drink and bumped into you... Good luck honey everything will be okay... and sorry to say this but more than likely he's sleeping with her.

Shell	I would tell him that you saw the new text messages and that he is giong to tell you what is going on with this girl. Or you could follow him and see for yourself what they are doing. He has been hiding this for a year you need to find out what is going on.

friskymisty01	It doesn't seem like he's being honest at all...if you found another mssg. I would have just told him when he lied to your face..that you found another mssg and that he's full of it* or try to follow him.....and catch him right there and then* Go with what your gut feeeling is telling y ou> If he's lying you need to confront him straightup ......I can understand how hurt you are right now and upset......Unless you catch him with the other woman...or confront him again on the mssgs on his phone....then not much else you can do* other than leave him and let him know you wont sit around while he's having an affair and lying right to your face* What kind of a marriage is that?? Sorry* GoodLUck*

Pdoodles	I think that trust is one of the most important ingredients in a solid marrage, so even if he is only "just friends" with her, the fact that he is lying to you is bad enough to ruin your relationship. So you need to confront him and he needs to make a decision. Either everything comes out or you need to go your separate ways. This is important because you need to love yourself not to live in a lie.

SA Writer	Confront him with the facts. He lied and continues to do so. He may not yet be having a physical affair but he will. He is at least having an inappropriate psychological affair with this barmaid.

Beautiful	im sorry..i understand your situation...i really think he's having an affair with her..he's lying to u..that actually says it all.u need to talk it out with him.u have to confront him.make yr decision.follow your heart but don't let anyone fool u.life's beautiful and u r still young..always.take care and good luck

CEP	I think its suspcious and I'd push for the truth. You need to confront him head on and tell him what you know. Watch how he reacts and follow your instincts. Maybe it is just nothing... but the big question is... Then why is he hiding it? Why didn't you stop talking the her when he said he did?

keonli	Sometimes you can't change a person. Your husband certainly sounds like he's having an affair. Since he keeps lying about it, perhaps you should try some counselling. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. My father was unfaithful to my mother many times (and while she had cancer) and I know how painful it is. Confronting the bridesmaid would only make things more difficult, so a counselor is your best bet. If he refuses, you might have to fess up about seeing his text messages again. If he gets angry at you, it is because he is hiding something, not because you invaded his privacy. There would be no need for such anger if nothing was found. I hope things turn out better for you.

gypsy g	Not trying to be mean...but why snoop, when you know you'll be upset, yet at the same time don't know what to do about it. Why set yourself up for the aggravation. You are obviously upset that he has a female friend that you don't know and he keeps her a secret, therefore you find it deceiving. Only question is can you live with that or not. This isn't about him anymore, the ball is in your court. You need to decide what YOU WANT and act on it.

missd937	Girl it seems to be something fishy going on. Personally I would investgiate, maybe he's not haveing a affair, but maybe he is. It depends what is texts saying, because just saying lets meet up isnt enough.

stonecold69	if she was just a friend he wouldn't hide it from you. Why don't you go to the bar with him and meet this "friend" I know i wouldn't let my girlfriend go anywhere alone with a male as I wouldn't go alone with any female. It's just out of respect for the other person Sorry but I feel he is cheating on you. Why would he want to go out to bars with someone else when he could be home with his wife. If I were you the next time he says he's going to the bar ask if you can go with him, If he says no then follow him see where he goes.

Sassy Pants	Email me juxtaposedhere@yahoo.com I'll share my story.

georgiarose_01	I'm not a guy but I have always had alot of male friends. If he's hiding this information from you and lying about it, especially after telling you he'd give it up, I'm sorry but there is definately a reason for it. If there was nothing to hide, he wouldn't have lied. My opinion of a liar is they can't be trusted...any of them!

Jed	It's quite unlike me to say this but first, get your hands on the phone and destroy it. Get rid of it. Keep an eye on him, check his time schedule. But guard your heart.

Mom0f6	You have to go with your guy instinct. If you feel that something isn't right than you are probably correct. As much as it hurts you are worth way more than someone that is not going to respect you and put before everyone else.

stacy	i was in a similar last year. it is only a matter of time before she or someone else gets him. so make it easy on yourself, leave now. i knowit is hard and you are driving yourself crazy wondering if you are really over-reacting or if you are seeing things that are not there. the proof is in front of you. do not wait to see him on a bed with someone else before you are satified.

?	I would sneak a peak at his phone again and when they meet up for a drink I would make sure I ambushed them. Then he couldn't lie about not keeping in contact with her. I am sorry to say it but you really need to kick him to the curb. If he lies about this girl then what else has he lied about?

JoJoBa	Seems like your thoughts and proof have come to be positive.

foxzie006	he's having an affair or is intersted in this girl. he is obviouslyl lyin to u, so u need to separate urself from him and tell him y and see what he does. if he comes after u then he wants u, if he doesnt, then more than likely he is with her.

Lab Runner	Number one thig ive learned if there is no trust there is no relationship your dont trust him and your snooping around looking at his cell phone trying to find him in a lie which you did so if you cant trust him is he really THE ONE for you is he really the one that keeps you happy and your willing to grow old and die with? Take care hunny good luck

diobalikal	After fighting my way through your question...so you know for a fact he is lying. What's the problem then. Don't give me, but I love him...he is LYING to you. And people wonder why there are so many question on her from women talking about guys who treat them bad. This is why, you stay with them!

pache3 _ricky	too young to answer this q...:)

john t	he is a liar and you cant base a marriage on lies i would confront and see were it goes from there

WILTON NORONHA	it seems he need more care from u try to make him feel that he is wanted all the best

Pink Denial	You already know he's lying. Why would you trust him? There's a range of what people would consider "cheating" to be, but he is most certainly doing SOMETHING he doesn't want you to know about.

Back in the game...	I hate to tell you this, but he is most likely having an affair. I went throught the same thing with my wife. She denied the whole thing and said he was just a friend. Then I found the emails and text messages, and the truth became clear. Does he have an email account? I would try to check that as well. How long have you been married? Any kids? If not, I would strongly consider leaving him unless he is willing to change his ways. He has already lost your trust, and for good reason. As much as you want to, you will probably never trust him 100% again because of what he is doing. That is not healthy for a realtionship. I wish you luck!

IGH3Rat	Next time that he disappears for a short while...maybe to meet her...call me and we'll head somewhere other than that pub.