Need to know how i can possibly get them to believe me?

I HAVE BEEN WITH MY WIFE NOW FOR 6.5 YRS MARRIED FOR 1YR WE HAVE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWN BUT SIX MONTHS AGO SHE LEFT TO STAY WITH HER FRIEND SAID SHE DIDN'T TRUST THAT I WOULD EVER CHANGE MY WAYS AND THAT SHE WAS AFRAID OF ME. I HAVE NEVER LAID A HAND ON HER BUT I HAVE PUNCHED HOLES IN WALLS DOOR ETC. WE TALKED THEN BUT I HAD TO CONVINCE MY MOTHER INLAW BEFORE MY WIFE WOULD COME HOME. ABOUT 2 MONTHS AGO WE GOT INTO ANOTHER HEATED ARGUEMENT ABOUT HOW I DONT SHOW HER I CARE AND SHE MADE ME SO MAD THAT I SHOOK MY FISTS INTHE AIR NEVER WITH ANY INTENTION OF EVER STRIKING HER BUT SHE IS NOW SCARED OF ME AND MY MOTHER INLAW IS NOW PAYING FOR HER TO FILE FOR DIVORSE. I AM CURRENTLY GOING TO BE STARTING ANGER MANAGEMENT IN AFEW WEEKS BUT I NNED TO KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE THEM THAT I DONT LIKE THAT SIDE OF ME I WANT TO CHANGE JUST NEED MORE TIME Sorry for the caps didnt know it would bother anyone

little luxuries	you really should work on yourself before you try to fix your marriage when you display that aggression you are really trying to control the other person which means that you are very insecure which alot of people are but show it in other way jealousy is another way the best way to help your marriage is to help your self dont you want to stop feeling the way you do inside

Laura T	The classes are a good start. You will have to show her you are working on your problems. Ask her to please be patient, that you love her, and are doing this, in part, for her. Don't expect anything from her soon. it is going to take a while before she trusts you again. Joint counseling would be a good idea too.

Garry H	Since u have never hit her that is great,unfortunatly u did scare her it seems.The good thing is you r getting help GOOD.The bad thing is this is strike 2!(sorry about the pun).All u can do is try,don't push it,.Your going to basicly be reprogramed about how to deal with emotions,Something only life has really tought us.So if u can handle a Snot nosed college grad(who doesn't even have hair on his A@S)Telling u how to act ..Then I hope it works 4 u.Me,well i killed mine.but still working on that anger thing.Good luck to you&your Wife.

Shana H	Explain this to her. Talk to her mother and her together in person and let them know that you dont expect them to trust u until you complete the anger management class. I wish you luck.

Kitten	Relay what you just said to your wife and mother in-law. Send flowers with a note that reads something like "I am sorry to have scared you so much. I have enrolled in anger management class to understand and cure my anger issues. Please give me time." + Endearment. P.S. Your wife is a very smart woman, and has all the rights to be afraid of you. If you don't take care of this, you will eventually punch someone other then the wall. Besides, uncontrollable anger is an ilness. If you don't take care of it, it will destroy you and the people you love. Good Luck on your quest.

mompres	The only way to really prove that you want to change is to actually change. Attend the anger management classes for yourself, because you want to be a better person! That's all that matters. If your wife is scared she should leave. That's her journey now. Yours is a different path to hopefully get control over yourself. I wish you all the best. And by the way, typing in all caps is considered yelling, in case you didn't know.

Freedle S	I would recommend just writing her a short note telling her that you are unhappy with your behavior too and you are looking to change. Gently point out that you are starting anger management and you would appreciate her holding off on any irrevocable actions until you have had a chance. I agree that your behavior wasn't good but I applaud your honesty with yourself and you willingness to get help. A work associate of mine has a similar situation. He never hit his wife but he had rage. The anger management helped and he is currently seeking counseling. Good luck my friend.

~nicole~	That's not something you can just convince someone. You need to fix your problems on your own and then let her see for herself.

Lv Dr. 4U	ALL CAPS IS HARD TO READ AND GIVES ONE A HEADACHE! IT IS RUDE TO USE ALL CAPS!

NIKKI	Just tell your wife to hold off on the divorce filing for at least six months (or whatever amount you feel is sufficient) so that you have time to go to anger management and prove to her that you are serious about the change. Show her that she will be able to see the results in you if she gives you this chance and if she does not see any change in your behavior in that amount of time, than she is free to file for divorce..... .....then you make damn sure to go to every meeting etc. and get that anger under control for the sake of your marriage

cope_acetic@yahoo.com	You should prepare yourself, because it may be too late. Personally, I think they are over-reacting..shaking your fists? Good grief--I do it all the time! Ask them to wait until you've had a few sessions, then ask them to attend a session WITH you, so they can speak to the counselor.

flagger_guy	Dude, ALL CAPITALS is a bit aggressive don't you think? Perhaps you should work on your anger issues.

luvlisteningtomusic	Convince them by you continuing going to your classes. Your wife felt threatened by the fact that you punched holes in the wall and you shook your fist at her. It had to really scare her in order for her to leave. Try not to think about getting back with her work on yourself before you do so. If she doesn't come back then the next relationship you are in you will be a different man.

SLIM in 2008	By your actions ... do something about it instead of trying to convince them with your mouth