Should I Tell My Husband I Had An Affair?

everythingspeachy2000	You do not deserve your husband. You are not going to like what I say but you asked for my opinion and you are going to get it. You are selfish and shallow. You committed to a marriage woman. You said no matter what you would love this man til death do you part. What part of that do you not understand? Marriage is a committment and sometimes it seems doomed and lonely and miserable but it is a growing spot and time to WORK ON MARRIAGE! You don't find fun outside of marriage....your husband isn't! What makes the rules different for YOU? Tell your husband? Why? To lessen your guilt and put pain on him? YOU knew the problems of your husband before you married him......and he trusted you. TRUSTED YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TRUST MEANS? IT means he puts his whole heart and soul into letting you get close to him even though one marriage didn't work out...he TRUSTED you.....BELIEVED In you ....and LOVED YOU! You are selfish....and immature. You think the grass is greener on the other side? You have problems lady...and you are going to take them with you because you aren't solving anything..just running away from it. I hope you do go for the other guy. This man you are married to deserves better and a greater chance at happiness than you offered. Your love is conditional....his isn't.

yelles	Besides everything i feel it is still cheating! You say you love your husband but.... In a relationship there can be no buts. There will never be a perfect marriage or a perfect relationship or a perfect job. Take what you have and work with it. Why give up on a husband that you love and have a connection with. So what if this new guy is richer, faster or has no baggage -the grass is not always greener on the other side. You made a promise to your husband 'til death do us part' - this is not death.

thenurrse d	Tell your husband about this guy you really like. Tell this new guy that you like him but your have a husband and the answer is no to him. Now separate your self of your husband, but don't be with this new guy as well. Now the three of you are single persons who know of each other but there are no worries as there is simply no cheating. No body is heart broken, just lonely.

camrn	I believe you should follow your heart and be honest. Your husband is selfish to give you that ultimatum. It is disrespectful and very closed minded of him. I thought we were done with those years. I think that you should give him that ultimatum of either accepting of you and the job, or not at all. Maybe you should take some time off of being a wife and get things on track as far as your career goes. Things don't happen and money doesn't get made just sitting on your ***. All great money making job's will always have some kind of traveling associated. As far as the other man, follow your heart. Of course if you stay with your husband you should surely tell him.

Ã¾rÎµÎµâ™¥	I think you should discuss this matter with your husband. but if the other guy makes you happy you should go for it. life is too short to be wasting time on poor nasty pre-married people. lol. jk. (a little humor) but if you really think that this guy is going to make you happy you should do it. it may be a life changing experience. best of luck :)

JillCancer	Perosnally you sound selfish to me. It sounds like money and your career are the most important things to you, which is fine if thats what you want but then you cant expect to have the best relationship because its always taking second string to your career. I think you should tell your husband what you did. He deserves to base his decision to stay with you on as much information as he has. Not only that though it sounds like no matter how much you love him you relaly dont want to be with him. Your acting like because he was upset and maybe said some things he didnt mean, like getting a divorce he forced you into the arms of another man. And it sounds like is you had the chance you would do it again, that your not over this other guy and you would be backl with him in a second if you could. Tell your husband what you did, if he wants to stay thats up to him. If he doesnt you clearly are able to find someone else.

Charlotte	I would consult a counselor because there is a lot going on here. You have to decide the direction you want to go with your love-life, and stick with it! Decide now and then take the steps towards a better life. Your husband and you have a sorted past, and he may not be able to forgive an affair, even in the midst of a rocky relationship. Is the new guy dependable? Are you? Maybe it's time to be single.

Cesaria Barbarossa - 40K	Yes you should. Easy question.

Amber B	Sounds like you got yourself into a lot of drama. You think your husband has baggage by having an ex and a kid. You created a whole lot more drama yourself. Yes you should tell your husband. Honesty is always a good place to start. If you decide to stay with your husband whom you claim to love you should tell the other guy it is over and never speak to him again. You have to make a choice and either way it is going to be hard. I wish you luck but you know what they say "you made your bed, now you gotta lay in it". Good luck.

gOOdgOOd	More money is a selfish reason to leave someone for the other person. Talk to your husband before you decide to make such a jump. Just because he has a past doesn't mean he isn't a great guy.

Bob	You messed up. Tell your husband, and if he's man he should kick you out of his life in a millisecond. If he forgives you, then you know he's not a man and YOU kick him out in a millisecond. Plain and simple, there is no point in you being married to each other if you have affairs with the first rich guy you meet in your 'business trips' soon to be divorced or not, the fact is that you WERE NOT divorced at the time. So own up to your mistake.

Missy	Neither! Your husband seems a little immature, and if your new guy knew you were married, then he's a creep! Keep the job and dump the men!

Asmodeus	Go with the Other man, If he has a job similar to yours than it would be easier right? Not to mention he doesn't pay child support, or loans that aren't his

curie	This sounds CRAZY. I think you should move out on your own and be alone for awhile that other guy will understand if he really cares about you, and you and your husband have issues that need to be dealt with in counseling if you're going to stay together.

Mikki	Like and love are two different things. I would sit down and write on a sheet of paper all the good things and all the bad. If the bad out weighs the good. Try this new guy, Honestly if he is trippin about your job and you cant deal with his issues with his daughter this relationship isnt going to last long. Or you wont be really happy.

firesplat	Well I think the husband should be told. and then you just need to take it from there.

Mark	For your husband to truly reap the fruits of his harvest he must know. Unfortunately his harvest is a bust as is his marriage.. I hope you 2 did not create children.

?	I think you should do what you feel is right. Your husband is trying to hold you back, while I can understand why he'd be upset about you leaving, he could have came and seen you instead of asking for divorce. I think you belong with this new man. Tell him what went on and cut your ties.

Laura	Lady, work your Marriage out!! You made a vow before God to stay committed to this man for better OR FOR WORSE. And NO, don't tell him about your affair. Normally I would say YES, but in this case, leave it between you & God. You need to get God in your life & pray for forgiveness for what you've done though. Cheating is just UNACCEPTABLE!!

Suki	8 month business trip............yeah sure..........

buggy	You're the mean one. But tell him yeah, because he's going to have to know sooner or later. Just get prepared for the arguing and pain you're going to cause him because I'm sure he loves you

xeverex21	Tell him the truth. He'll probably want to split, win win situation no?

Jillzilla	If you do leave your husband and jump into a new relationship right away it will not work.

Precious	You need to stay with your husband because marriage isn't just some mistake you can change your mind on when you decide you don't like it anymore, tell your husband about the affair and hopefully he'll want a divorce then and wait till it's final before you go sleepin around.

Question Guy	If you tell him, he'll probably break up with you: http://www.bofads.com/stories/breakup.htm

lostinthesky	uh yeah!! tell your poor husband